Carolina! It’s rats Carolina!

"What the hell?" I thought. I was in an area in between passing out from shock and spilling my guts from laughter. There were rats, bloody rats, stealing our scripts. Rats! What?

They were incredibly sneaky about it too, they took the sheets of paper very quietly through a spot that was facing the backs of all the workers, I was only able to see it because I was looking at it from a peculiar angle. They were so organized as well, they stole from each stack equally so there wouldn't seem to be much of a difference between each of them. Rats were doing it! Rats!

"Hahahahaha" I laughed out loud unable to contain myself. I mean how could I? Could you? At this sight?

The laugh alerted the rats who got startled, froze in their place and stared at me, their confused stares only caused me to break into an even louder laugh which alerted bot the guards and the workers. It was time to make my escape, I had seen everything I wanted to see and more after all.

I quickly push against the wall and break into a sprint in the direction opposite to where I laughed but from behind the building where I couldn't be seen. It should take them a while to figure out that I had run their way. It was an old trick but a tried and true one.

But still who gave a shit about low level scripts now? Certainly not me no. I had found a much more enticing tale. I decided I was definitely going to get to the bottom of this.

After I had made my escape I hastily ran back to our base.

Our base was quite vast since the land was basically unclaimed we claimed it for ourselves. We had a vast garden in which we grew all sorts of crops, the main large house in the middle were most of us slept and some side buildings like a weapons and Scripture shed, an animal shed with hens and cows and finally a vast empty training area. All of that was surrounded from all sides by a gate with barb wire on top, if you stand atop of the gate you could barely make out the city from one side and see nothing on the rest of the sides. Needless to say it was our own little heaven.

I've been running all the way from the town to the base, I'm quite a large burly man but such a few kilometer run was nothing.

After about a half an hour run I finally made it to the gate where I was greeted by Alberto and Mussolini, they're brothers we had picked up before on one of our little...excavation.

"Woah woah there, what's the matter why you running?" Said Mussolini.

"Carolina, where's Carolina?" I replied

"Ah boss I just came back from the house, she was in the livin' room, is something wrong? You look like have a flame up your ass" Said Alberto, he spoke in a much less reserved manner than Mussolini, often to Mussolini's displeasure.

"Mind your tongue in front of boss!" Mussolini said with a stern tone, Alberto didn't reply but merely hung his head.

"Nevermind nevermind, I've got some exciting things to say, get the rest and come to the living room right away!" I said barely containing my smile.

I then rushed through the gate, past the farm and into the house. The door had no key so I just pushed it open.

Inside was Carolina, my wife, she was sitting on the couch while Marquis, Monique and Adam, my henchmen, playing a board game on the ground. The Living room was quite vast, it had a large central table to eat at, some couches and an office in the room right next to it. Especially this late at night it looked quite beautiful with moon reflecting off off the stone walls.

Carolina was a fair woman, normally laid back, a stark contrast to me but maybe that's why we fit so much hehe. She also sorta worked like a sponge absorbing all my overflowing emotions without batting an eye, she was the light of my life. But often she'd have weird moments, kinda like this one.

"Caroli—wait what's that?" I said

"It's a monkey, can't you see?" She replied quietly while pointing at the monkey sitting on her lap.

"Yes I can tell..." I sighed. "I'm asking why is a monkey here."

"Hmm....I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't know silly." She giggled.

"No but....how did it get here?"

"I mean...on its legs I suppose."

"Ah no...hey stop twisting my words, I meant why is it here?" I cried.

"You wish to know the monkey's logic for coming here?"

"Yes!"

"guess you should be asking him not me then." She held the monkey from his sides and pointed him at me.

"Ka Ka Ka." It said.

"So he just walked through the front door?" I asked.

"Hmm....I guess yeah he did."

"And you just kept it?"

"Yeah, we're friends now." She said looking at his face and rubbing her nose against his.

"So a random monkey walked through the door and you just....took it...."

"Hmm...yes."

"Carolina you sure are a weird one..."

"I am?"

"...." I love her but god she's....

"Oh oh wait I almost forgot damn it." I shout suddenly startling Carolina and the 3 henchmen.

"Something up boss?" Said Adam.

"I just saw the craziest thing today. The craziest I tell you. You won't believe it!"

I suddenly heard the sound of the door opening behind me, Alberto and Mussolini walked through the door with one other man, Sam, our engineer.

"I brought everyone boss like you asked. Only Sam was left." Said Mussolini.

"Nice nice. You should all hear this." I cleared my throat then continued. "So today I was stalking the script factory right? Awful place, run down, won't be of any use, forget it completely."

"Uhhh..." the rest let out a faint sigh. They were quite used to me changing missions on a whim but it seems they still can't accept it.

"But as I was surveying it I saw the craziest thing ever! Rats!"

"Mm? Rats?" Said Alberto.

"Yes Rats! Rats were stealing the scripts!"

"What?"

"I saw it! With my own eyes! Rats were stealing our scripts one by one."

"You sure they weren't just eating paper boss? I read somewhere that rats tend to do that." Said Adam.

"Not at all, they were systematically collecting them, one by one, it was amazing. Ahhh this is so great, so enticing, I've been getting so bored of this town lately and then this happens." I swayed around as I talked. "Ah this is a gift. A gift. A divine blessing. So unexpected. AHHHHH." I punched the house wall and made a hole in it. I often liked to punch things when I was this excited. This startled Alberto and Mussolini who were our two newest recruits but the rest was fairly apathetic to it. They had seen it many times. Alberto and Mussolini made no comments when they saw everyone else didn't make not of it. They were still new and in that phase where you agree with the dominant group to not seem like you stand out.

"Boss have you been drinking again?" Sam asked. He's the oldest member of the group so he was well aware of my drinking habits.

"What does that even matter for? Aren't you all excited?"

"..." They all looked at me with disbelief.

"I-I'm excited boss." Said Marquis, the youngest of our group.

"Nice Marquis Nice. You have the spirit." Marquis' face lighted up.

"Ahh...it's just you see boss uh....remember that time you drank so much you thought the pub owner was a siren and you spent all night trying to stop us from talking to him as to not get whisked away?" Said sam.

"Or that time you thought you thought you saw a genie and he asked you to meet him atop of the pub so you drank there alone all night waiting?" Said Adam.

"Or the time you drank so much your forgot you married me."

"I was hoping you'd let that one go already." I laughed in a self deprecating manner, it was definitely not my best moment. I then directed my words to the rest. "Ok yes, you may have a point. But after I sobered up I always knew it was fake right? Well I'm sober now and I'm telling you its real." I declared.

"I don't know boss...what would a rat even do with a script?" Sam snickered.

"I don't know. But how about we find out?" I said pointing my finger to the weapons shed.

"Tomorrow, we go rat hunting."