Chapter-17

Chapter 17

I wake up in a white room. It's walls, ceiling, and floor are padded, with only a soft bed underneath me. Everything is pure white. I see no door, no windows, no people. Just me and this machine attached to my arm, pumping some kind of liquid into me. I'm too weak to care what they're doing now.

I nod in and out of consciousness, not really aware of what's happening. Every few hours, a Capitol servant comes into my room to feed me, but other than that, I don't know where I am.

It feels like I've been locked in this room for days. I think about everything and everyone while I'm not sleeping. I'll get to see Prim, my mother, and Gale again. "Peeta."

Where is he? He has to be alive, I saw them in the hovercraft working on him. But he isn't here with me.

"Peeta," I whisper into the air again. I can hear it clearly though, which is new. Both of my ears are working, meaning they fixed my ear.

I think of Prim. How excited she'll be when she gets to see me again. How excited she'll be when she gets to have her own room, and she gets to go to sleep with a full stomach every night. I'll never have to worry about providing for her again.

I think of Gale. Will he be mad about Peeta? My mother and Hazelle, Gale's mother, wanted us to get married. But how can I do that when I have to act in love with Peeta?

I think of Peeta. Am I acting in love with him? I don't know what love feels like, so I don't know. I care about him though. He's my friend, maybe even my best friend. But does that make me in love with him?

My thoughts stress me out, and I can't think clearly enough to sort them out, so I try to go back to sleep. I do fall asleep, but I wake up screaming from another nightmare.

When I close my eyelids, I see Peeta being stabbed by Cato and dying in my arms, or Peeta slipping and falling to his death while I watch, or him burning from the fire wall that came barreling towards us in the Games. I can't sleep with these nightmares. I don't think I'll ever get sleep again. The last time I got a good night's sleep was… in Peeta's arms.

But that doesn't mean I love him, right? He makes me feel safe in his arms, but that doesn't make me love him. No, I don't love Peeta Mellark. It was an act, that's all.

After what feels like a couple more days, Haymitch walks into my room. All I can do is stare at him. He looks… happy. Like he's happy to see me alive. I guess, in a way, he looks proud.

"What do you know? You took my advice," he says with a laugh.

"What advice?" I ask.

"I told you to stay alive," he says with a giant grin on his face. "Nice shooting, Sweetheart."

"Peeta?" I ask. I need to know if he's alright.

"They boy's fine, he's going through physical therapy for his hand right now. Cato's sword got him good, broke a couple fingers and bones in his wrist, but the Capitol fixed him up quickly. He'll be good as new by tomorrow," he says. "I came in here to take you back to the suite. You're good to go now."

I get up, follow Haymitch outside of the hospital, which is a room I didn't know existed in the Tribute Center. Must be here just in case a tribute gets injured during training.

"Haymitch, can you get me when Peeta comes back?" I ask. I'm worried sick about him.

"Oh no, Sweetheart, you won't see him here. You'll get to see him during the Victor's interview. They want a real reaction to your reunion," he says. "You'll get to see your boyfriend tomorrow."

I turn to leave the room, but Haymitch follows me. I don't know why, but I don't say anything. He must be going to his room. But once I get inside my room, he's in there too, walking into the bathroom.

"What do you think you're doing? Ever heard of privacy?" I ask loudly.

"Just follow me, stop being difficult," he says.

I follow him into the bathroom, where he closes the door, turns on the sink and the shower at the same time. I'm confused, is his goal to waste as much water as possible?

"Capitol can barely hear a word we say with the water running like this. Now, shut up and listen," he says. "Snow's pissed. Really pissed. You showed him up, made the Capitol look like a joke. You need to make sure it doesn't look like you were acting out of hatred towards the Capitol, and make it look like you were acting out of love. You loved that boy so damn much, you couldn't bear to go home without him. Got it?"

"Okay, I'll do it," I whisper.

"Good, now get some rest. Tomorrow's the interview, then we get to go home. Play your cards right, and nothing will happen to your family," Haymitch says.

He leaves the room, so I get changed into sleeping clothes and lay down. I try to sleep, but I can't seem to get my brain to stop running. My bed feels so… empty without Peeta in it. It's not that I love him, I just miss him. It's like I can't get comfortable without him here.

I get a few hours of sleep, if you can call it that. I did more screaming and crying than sleeping. But it doesn't matter anymore, because today is the last day until I get to go home. I get to see Peeta, Prim, and Gale.

I'm awoken by my prep team, who seem eager to get to prep me again. I'm the first winner in District 12 since Haymitch, so it'd make sense that they're excited. I hear words like "promotion" thrown around.

Once I'm prepped, we're hurried into a car to be taken to the building where I'll be interviewed along with Peeta. I meet Cinna outside, and he takes me to a room under the stage. He leaves for a second, probably for my dress.

Cinna walks in with a dress so beautiful, yet so… youthful. Once I slip it on, I realize what the look they're going for is. Childish. Young. Girly. They want me to look girlish for the Capitol, so it doesn't look like I'm rebellious.

The dress appears to melt from dark orange at the bottom to a light yellow at the top. It's elegant, yet I look like I'm Prim's age again.

"Oh Cinna, it's beautiful," I say.

"I think Peeta's going to love it," he says back.

This dress isn't for Peeta though. It's for Snow, for the Districts, to make sure they believe I'm really a girl who was so in love, she was willing to die. Is that what I was doing?

I notice the extra padding on my breasts, making them look slightly bigger. I raise my eyebrow at Cinna as I grab the extra padding, who seems to know exactly what I'm thinking.

"They wanted to alter them surgically, but Haymitch and I figured you'd appreciate keeping them natural," Cinna says.

"Thank you," I say. Cinna and Haymitch are still looking out for me, even after I've won. I don't know what I'd do without them.

"You should have seen Haymitch. He was livid, throwing things at the Gamemakers and screaming. I don't think the Gamemakers knew what to do," Cinna says with a grin.

We step out of the room and onto the pedestal that will take me up onto the stage, where I'll see Peeta again. I'm actually excited to see him, to make sure he's still alive, until I think about what Haymitch told me. I need to be more than excited. I need to be in love.

I hear Caesar Flickerman's voice, warming up the crowd with a few jokes to get them excited and laughing. Then, I hear my prep team introduced, followed by Effie, most likely loving the attention she's receiving. Cinna and Portia are next in line to be introduced, which the audience goes wild for. The Capitol citizens must've loved their designs. Haymitch is next, getting the crowd riled up too.

Peeta and I are next up. I can't see him yet, but as my pedestal slowly rises up, I can't help but feel nervous. I slowly relax as I see his blonde hair rise up, followed by his face and the rest of him. Seeing him alive and breathing calms my nerves a little.

He smiles at me, dressed in a suit with a shirt the same color as my dress. I don't even wait for my pedestal to fully rise before I'm off and running towards him. I need to feel his arms around me, feel his heart beating. I need to feel him alive, seeing him breathing isn't enough.

I leap into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, bringing my lips to his. I bring my hands to his hair, clutching to his golden locks as we continue to kiss. Caesar tries to break us apart, but Peeta and I both shake him off, not wanting this to end. Not wanting this to end?

That doesn't mean I'm in love with him. I just missed him, right? We eventually break our lips apart to breathe, and Peeta walks towards the Victor's throne. Well, it's more of a Victor's love seat this year. Peeta never lets go of me, and I'm actually surprised that he can maneuver so well with my clinging to him like I am.

Peeta sets me down, and sits next to him, but I decide that it's not close enough for my liking, and quickly kick my shoes off so I can sit comfortably leaning against him. His arm snakes around my waist, holding me to him.

The first part of the interview is not an interview at all, actually. We are to watch the recap of the Games, mainly following us around the whole time, unless there's action elsewhere.

They play our reaping, showing each of us walking towards the stage. Showing me volunteering for my little sister. Showing Peeta, looking stunned, as if he didn't quite understand where he was going. He looked confused and scared, but kind of cute. Cute?

They show us shaking hands, and then it cuts to the opening ceremonies. They show us holding hands in the chariot, looking absolutely breathtaking. We looked perfect with our flames engulfing us. We look stunning.

They show our interviews, me twirling like an innocent girl, looking like I'm enjoying every moment. Perfect for the situation I'm in now. They show Peeta, casually chatting with Caesar like he's an old friend, and Peeta's emotional confession of his love for me.

It then cuts to the Games, where I watch the bloodbath unfold. Eleven tributes, all slain by Cato and his alliance. Thresh kills the boy from 4, and runs into the tall grass away from the rest of the bloodbath.

They show Peeta and I teaming up with Rue, escaping the fireballs, and formulating our plan to seperate the Careers. They show Peeta's fight with Cato, and my fight with Glimmer. I realize just how much Peeta was going through with Cato when he was slashed. Peeta was cut early in the fight, but somehow held Cato off for minutes as I wrestled with Glimmer.

They show us making it to the cave with Rue, and me nursing Peeta back to health. They show every kiss, smile, touch, and word between Peeta and I. It makes me uncomfortable, knowing that there was a whole country watching me practically make out with Peeta daily.

They show Peeta getting the medicine that saved his leg.

They show us planning to get rid of the Career's supplies. They show me blow up their gear, and Peeta carry me back to the cave. They show the boy from 3 getting his neck snapped by Cato, who looks angry as ever.

They show the Career's planning to raid Thresh's grassland, and Marvel getting bit by a snake. It must've been deadly, because Marvel dropped 10 minutes after.

They show the ground splitting and crumbling towards our cave, and all around the arena. They show Rue, falling to her death, not fast enough to keep up. I feel Peeta squeeze my side and whisper into my ear, "Don't cry. Cameras are watching."

I watch Cato and Clove rush at Thresh, and eventually kill him. I watch as they near Peeta and I, circling the cornucopia. I watch as Clove kills Foxface, leaving us and them left.

I watch as Peeta shoves me out of the way, taking a knife in his shoulder in the process. He saved me, because that knife would've been lodged in my neck had he not done that.

I watch as I kill Clove, and watch as Cato climbs the cornucopia and tackles me. I watch as Peeta wrestles with Cato, getting punched and kicked and elbowed and kneed in the process.

I watch as Cato grabs Peeta in a choke hold. I watch as Peeta slams him to the cornucopia, and wrestles with him some more. I watch as Peeta kicks my bow to me, so I can kill Cato and end our torturous recap. They don't show us preparing to jump, but I don't need to question why that is.

When the seal of Panem plays on the screen, Caesar quickly starts our interview process. "Well, Peeta, we know from our days in the cave that it was love at first sight for you from what, age five?"

Peeta glances down at me with a smile. "From the moment I laid eyes on her."

"But, Katniss, what a ride for you. I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" Caesar asks.

"I think I realized I was in love with Peeta when I saw his leg. I thought about how I might lose him, and realized in that moment that… I couldn't imagine living without him," I say with a smile and a kiss to Peeta's cheek.

We continue to answer Caesar's questions, most being silly, just looking for answers to keep the interview rolling. But I know I won't get off the hook that easily.

"And lastly, Peeta, Katniss… What were you thinking when you decided to jump off the cliff together. I mean, I think we were all moved when we saw how much you loved one another!" Caesar says enthusiastically. This is my chance to clear up any doubt that we were rebelling.

"Well Caesar, when I heard that the rule was evoked, I was devastated. It was either die so Peeta could go home, or kill Peeta so I could go home. And I didn't even have to think before I knew the second option wasn't happening. But, Peeta wouldn't go home without me either, and I think we both decided that living without one another wasn't possible for us. So we decided at that moment, to die together," I say with tears in my eyes. Haymitch gives me a thumbs up in the background, and I know I've said the right things.

"And you, Peeta?" Caesar prods.

"Well, I think Katniss summed it up pretty well. I mean, there was no way I was going back without her, and when we decided to die together, I knew without thinking that it was the only choice we had. I'd never truly live if she were to die and I didn't," Peeta says as he kisses my temple.

With that, Caesar ends the interview, and Peeta and I get up and head to Haymitch, Cinna, Portia, Effie and our prep teams. We're corralled through the wave of people surrounding our building, into a car, and towards the train station. Before I know it, Peeta and I are off to District 12.

Home. I'm going home. To Prim, my mother, Gale. Hell, I'm even happy to see Buttercup again.

We all eat dinner together, and when we finish, Peeta and I head to our rooms. Except, when we get to my door, I drag Peeta past it to his room. I haven't seen him in days, and to be completely honest, I don't want to let him out of my sight. It's like I'm scared something will happen to him, even though he'll be right down the hall.

"You can shower first if you want," Peeta says as he sits on his bed. I decide to take him up on his offer, desperately wanting all of my makeup and this dress off of me.

I scrub away all of the unnecessary and unnatural things on my face in the shower, until I'm me again. I'm no longer the Girl on Fire, I'm now Katniss Everdeen.

I wrap my towel around my body, and leave my hair down because I know Peeta likes it like this, and because it will hopefully dry faster. When I step out of the bathroom, Peeta gets up and goes in for his shower.

I could go back to my room and get my own clothes, but I'm already here, and Peeta left his shirt drawer open, basically inviting me to take one of his. I pull one of his over my head, and smile because it smells like cinnamon. I grab a pair of his sweatpants, and have to roll them over and over, and they still won't stay on my waist.

Peeta steps out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of his sweatpants without a shirt. I can't help but stare at his broad shoulders, his chest, and his abs. Even after the Hunger Games, he is still well defined.

It makes me feel guilty when he puts a hand on his shoulder, until I realize why. He's covering the scar he got from Clove. He must not have gotten the full body polish. I didn't either, only bothering with my face. I don't want to erase part of my life just because I can.

"Peeta, come here," I say as he walks towards his shirt drawer. He does, but still holding onto his shoulder. Is he embarrassed?

When he reaches me, I grab the hand covering himself, and pull him onto the bed. When he's lying next to me, I sit up and lean over him, staring at his scar. I can tell he's uncomfortable, which makes me feel the need to reassure him that there's nothing to be worried about.

I lean down and kiss his scar, showing him that I love every part of his body, scarred or unscarred. I love every part of his body? What is going on with me?

"I like it, Peeta," I say softly.

"You do?" he asks with a hint of skepticism.

"Of course. It reminds me of how much you love me," I whisper. It's true, though. He was willing to take a knife to the shoulder to save me.

"Thank you," he whispers back. I lay down on his chest, listening to the one thing that seems to always be normal. I listen to his heartbeat, the one constant in this wretched world. Sleep soon takes over.

When I wake up, I don't want to move. I'm perfectly content with staying in bed all day, feeling Peeta's slow rising and falling as he breathes, and listening to his heartbeat. I absentmindedly trace small patterns on his chest, which I'm pretty sure wake him up, because I feel him tighten his arms around me for a second.

"Good morning," he says sleepily. I look up at his face, admiring his long gold eyelashes and his deep blue eyes.

"Good morning," I say back.

"You should probably get going before we hear Effie screeching down the hallway again," he whispers.

"Let her," I say as I snuggle closer to him. If it were up to me, we'd stay like this forever. I feel so… relaxed on top of him.

I feel him laugh under me, rumbling his chest. "Peeta! Katniss! That is so improper!" he says in his best Capitol accent. I giggle when he does this, because it sounds nothing like Effie, but at the same time, it does sound exactly like her.

When he starts tracing his own patterns on my back through my shirt, I smile into his chest. I don't know why, but every touch sends shivers through my body.

"Are you cold?" he asks. "I can get another blanket for you."

"No, I just… I just really like when you do that," I say without trying to sound embarrassed.

He laughs again, shaking my head slightly. I lift my shirt enough for him to be touching bare skin, but not enough for this to be deemed inappropriate. Well, in my eyes anyway. I'm sure Effie would tell me this should wait until we are married.

Married? I'm not getting married, why would I even think of that?

After another hour of us cuddling, Effie decides to knock on his door. I hear Peeta mumble something under his breath that sounded like "can't leave us alone for one day," before telling her to come in. As he says it, I watch his eyes widen, and throw the blanket over my head.

I can't help but giggle at his reaction to this, and I've given my hiding spot away. Effie walks in and snatches the covers off of my head.

"Young lady! That is improper! Do you realize that a woman should never sleep with a man unless they are married?" Effie starts yelling at me. Peeta can't stop laughing, and neither can I.

"And you!" She points at Peeta. "You know better! I thought you had more manners than this! I let it go during the Games, but you aren't in the arena anymore!" Effie continues screaming.

I can't stop laughing now, because how would Effie have stopped us in the Games? Her reaction to anything and everything is hilarious to Peeta and I, but I have to pity Haymitch. How does he deal with this?

Oh yeah, I remember. He doesn't deal with this, the alcohol does.

"Well, once you two are done doing God knows what, breakfast is in 10," Effie says as she leaves, stomping her feet on the way out.

We eat breakfast with Effie and Haymitch, and all retreat back to the living room car. Effie and Haymitch put as much distance between themselves as possible, while I am practically in Peeta's lap. Haymitch grins at us, and nods at Effie slightly, telling us to look at her. The look on her face is priceless.

We continue the rest of the day like this, having small conversations, eating lunch, and doing nothing. Peeta and I play this game we created together, and Effie is the unlucky contestant on this game. Anytime we catch her looking at us, we make sure to kiss each other. Sometimes, we'll ask her to bring us something like a glass of water, so she'll be forced to look at us when she gets back. She never says anything to us, but her face says all we need to know. We're winning this game she doesn't know she's playing. Haymitch seems to think it's hilarious, because he can't stop laughing when Effie scowls at Peeta and I.

We retreat to Peeta's room after dinner, shower separately and lie down beside one another. Tomorrow morning, we'll be home.

"Are you excited?" I ask Peeta. He hasn't talked much about going home.

"I think so," he says back. I'm confused by what this means.

"Huh?"

"I mean, yeah, I'm excited to go home and see my family again and all, but I'm scared that everything will change when we get back," he says. I'm not sure what he means by this. Everything will change between us? Or will everything change in his life?

We fall asleep fairly quickly. I have no nightmares yet again.

I wake up to Effie's loud banging on the door. "I hope you're dressed!" she yells before opening the door.

Peeta groans and pulls me closer to him, ignoring Effie's continued yelling about how we never learn, and how she thought she taught us better than this.

In one hour, we'll get to see our families again. This thought makes me drag Peeta out of bed and almost into the hallway before realizing he still has no shirt on. I quickly run over to his drawer, grab a shirt and throw it on over his head, then drag him to the kitchen.

We all eat one final meal together, before going back to our seperate rooms to get dressed for today. I for one, cannot wait to be back in District 12. I've missed my family more than I ever thought would be possible, and can't wait to see Prim again.

Peeta and I grab hands at the door as we pull into the station, and as the door opens, step out onto the floor. I spot Prim bouncing on Gale's shoulders, and my mother next to him. Gale doesn't look happy, he looks… heartbroken. I don't see Peeta's family anywhere.

I run towards Prim, practically dragging Peeta along with me until I reach her. Only then do I let go of his hand to hug her.

"I knew you'd come back, I knew you would," Prim says.

"I promised you," I whisper into her ear, not even sure if she could hear me over the crowd of people shouting our names.

When I let go, I see Peeta looking around for his family before I see Prim grab him into a hug.

I hear her say, "Thank you for bringing her home. Thank you, Peeta, thank you." This sight almost brings tears to my eyes.

"Hey, I promised you I would, didn't I?" he says back, and I'm confused by what he means by this. How could he have promised her this?

Gale is nowhere to be seen now, not even wishing me a goodbye before he left. I grab my mother into a hug, even though I'll never fully forgive her for what she's put me and Prim through. Life's too short to hold grudges.

When I release her, I see Peeta still standing by himself, with a look of sadness in his eyes as he smiles at me. His family didn't come to see him. This pisses me off greatly. He just fought for his life so he could come home to them and they couldn't even make time to see him arrive home?

After about thirty minutes of thanking people for their "kind words," mainly just being a congratulations, Prim, mother and I head home. Except this time, home is in Victor's Village. We're guided there by a Capitol assistant, who is to give us the tour of Victor's Village, making sure we find our way there.

"Why is Peeta alone?" Prim asks me. I turn around to see Peeta walking about fifty feet behind us, with his head down and his hands in his pockets. He looks heartbroken, and I feel my heart break too.

"Oh, you know his mother, Prim. Let's not worry about him right now, let's celebrate Katniss winning," my mother says. This slightly irks me, because we should worry about Peeta. He has no one there for him right now, and deserves more than that. So as Prim and my mother walk into my house, I turn around and walk towards Peeta.

"What happened, Peeta?" I ask, knowing what happened, but wanting confirmation.

"Huh?" he says, acting like he doesn't know what I'm asking.

"Where's your family at?" I ask. It rips my heart in two when he looks down at the ground before answering.

"They couldn't make it, I guess," he says sadly.

"Well, if you want, you can come over and celebrate with Prim, my mother and I," I say, hoping he accepts. He doesn't deserve to be alone today, not after what he's been through.

"Are you sure? We just got back, I'm sure Prim wants to spend some ti-" he says before I cut him off.

"Prim won't mind," I say with a smile. He smiles back.

"Thank you, I'd love to come over," he says, ever so politely. In a way that is so… Peeta.

So as we walk through the front door together, and head to the living room with Prim and my mother, everything feels right. For the first time since my father died, I feel like my family is finally okay again. Whether it be Prim never having to worry about starving ever, or my mother finally being in our lives again, or Peeta being here with us, my family feels whole again.

A/N: So, would you guys like me to continue this story? I feel like there's still a lot more for me to write, but it's up to you guys. Review and let me know if you want more! Have a good week!