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Headed by a Snake

I woke up in this world with a System and a sword. Without hesitation, I chose to complete the princess’ quest with my weapons: Arrogance. Cunning. Pride. I will lead guild Sol Invictus. Denizens of the 7 hells, respect me. Servants of the 11 heavens, know fear. Guild Invictus, know the suffering of training so you can wrest victory from the jaws of those who dare doubt you. This is a story about a snake named Tycondrius waking up in a fantasy world of swords and sorcery. There is action, violence, unapologetic murder, and arrogant displays of power. There is an emphasis on combat growth as well as psychological growth on more than a few members of Guild Invictus. There is camaraderie and also the inevitable comedic dialogue amongst manly men. There are even elements of romance and Tycon running away from terrifying, powerful women. (Did you know most female snakes eat their partners after mating?) Give this book a read. I hope some of these stories can inspire you to fight your battles with analytical intelligence, heroic courage, and ruthless lethality. Work is completed as of 9May2024. There's also a few side-stories written in Chapter 1151! The Author is working on a new story called 'I Wish You Were Never Reborn.' After four or so years of writing, my skills have much improved. Highly recommend. Here is my discord: https://discord.gg/NNbAj7N Constructive criticism and corrections welcome. Other Authors extra-welcome. You can find a list of characters at https://snek.fandom.com/wiki/Character_List Cover image credit: Johnabrash at Fiverr

CouchSurfingDragon · Fantasía
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1152 Chs

Feelings in a Knot

Without stopping to question or negotiate, the mimic's tongue-like appendage lashed out at Levi Wolfrider. It smashed into his face, viscous saliva drenching him, and went on to batter his other body parts mercilessly.

As a credit to the defensive nature of the boy's Warden Class, he moved his body instinctively, avoiding strikes to his vital areas. Of course, with every head-strike dodged, the mimic's vicious tongue lashes struck Lone, who was humorously unable to dodge.

Tycondrius picked up the dropped halberd, ignoring the literal tongue-lashing that Wolfrider and Shadowdark were suffering.

« System, inquiry: Vulnerabilities to the mimic's adhesive? »

[Searching...]

« Take your time, there's no rush. »

[System response: The adhesive excreted by the mimic's surface can be dissolved by alcohol.]

Tycon pursed his lips and nodded in wonder. He had learned something new.

...He did have some alcohol stored for a special occasion-- but not enough that he considered wasting it.

Reasonably, if the mimic's surface was coated in adhesive, the halberd's point would be less likely to stick, as it had a smaller surface area.

Tycon changed his grip to hold the halberd closer to its blade... and he thrust it down into the mimic's tongue-like appendage.

It didn't stick. Excellent. Tycon repeated the action several times until the footlocker ceased to move.

Lone breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Boss."

Wolfrider was soundly beaten and bludgeoned. He laid on his side, still in Lone's intimate embrace, "Boss... can you get this thing off of me?"

Tycon raised an eyebrow. Was the weretouched boy referring to the mimic he was stuck to or to Lone's genitalia?

« System, inquiry: Will the mimic's adhesive weaken over time? »

[Affirmative.]

« System, inquiry: How long will that take? »

[System response: The adhesive substance begins to break down in as little as five minutes after the mimic's death.]

Tycon propped up the halberd onto the wall, "There's a kitchen. I'm taking Sasha to see if there are any dried herbs or vegetable oils I can pilfer."

"Wait, what about us, Boss?!" Lone cried out.

"The adhesive will break down shortly. You two will be fine."

...

It took quite a bit of pulling and bodily contact, but Barza Keith, the Lone Shadowdark, finally peeled himself free of Levi Wolfrider.

They both agreed to never speak of it again.

Lone didn't trust anything in the room and wanted to leave. Wolfbanger did not.

Wolfbanger opened a chest. His hands were stuck. It was another mimic. Lone beat it to death with the halberd.

Lone wanted to take a rest-- maybe Invictus could stay in the tower overnight. The beds looked comfy. Absentmindedly, he touched the bedsheets. His hands were stuck.

The bed was a mimic. Wolfbanger laughed at his misfortune. Lone chuckled at the absurdity of recent events. The wardrobe dresser laughed because everyone else was laughing.

They killed the bed. Then they killed the wardrobe.

The curtain drapes sported golden knotted tassels that managed to pop Lone in the eye and delivered dozens more bruises to Wolfbanger. They killed that too.

Aggravated, Lone struck the coatrack by the door with his wolf-hammer while they were walking out of the room. The hammer stuck. It was a mimic.

The coatrack beat the hells out of the two and chased them out.

...

In the kitchens, Tycon had found a small store of salt, dried herbs, tea leaves, and a few other dried goods.

He looted all of it.

Placing some firewood into a stove, he brewed a pot of tea for himself and Sasha, adding a few pieces of dried fruit for flavor. The fruit infusion was popular in the Kingdom... and Sasha preferred sweeter things than not.

Nothing in the Tower thus far hinted at the identity of its owner. The base floor seemed to be kept relatively spartan, with tapestries on the walls nondescript, and various decorations culturally neutral.

He felt it was a place of learning suited to contain a multitude of peoples from across the realm... either that or the Tower Wizard did not care for the frivolities.

Levi Wolfrider and the Lone Shadowdark wandered into the kitchens with haggard, bruised appearances.

Tycon was sitting at the table with Sasha, drinking tea and sharing slices of one of Tycon's cured pork sausages.

"Gentlemen... May I ask what took you so long?" He pointed to Lone's swollen eye, "And what happened to you?"

The two shared a look of tacit mutual understanding. It seemed the two had grown somewhat closer.

"We're late because... we... had some things to take care of, Boss," Lone answered. "And for what happened to us..."

Wolfrider twisted his lips, "Lone took the knot."

Tycon pursed his lips. Did the two have sexual relations? ...As long as it didn't affect their work ethic, he supposed he could ignore it.

Did this mean that Lone no longer desired Sorina Capulet?

...and did he take the entire knot?

Lone grimaced, "Boss? Wh-why are you looking at us like that?"

Tycon narrowed his eyes, "You two are standing rather close."

The two leapt away from each other, Lone smashing his shin into a chair.

"Me?! With the Lonely Shadowdark?? No way!!" Wolfrider insisted.

Lone furiously rubbed his injured leg, "Y-yeah! It's not like that, Boss!"

Tycon shook his head, "Nevermind. Have you two discovered anything of interest? Perhaps something to induce the identity of the tower's inhabitants?"

"Yeah!" Lone yelled out, "This tower is STUPID!!"

Tycon lifted his teacup to his lips, "That is neither helpful nor interesting, young man."

Wolfrider frowned, "Nothin', Boss. I don't think anyone's lived on this floor for a long time."

The weretouched boy's sense of smell was excellent. Tycon did not doubt his judgment.

"Wait, but how is everything still so clean?" Lone asked.

"Not too surprising for a Wizard Tower." Tycon explained, "There are plenty of magical means to keep a tower free of dust, especially in the Kingdom. Magical creativity is an art in this nation, after all."

Tycon thought for a moment, "Permanency spells on cleaning enchantments are plentiful. Wizards often form contracts with house-fae who are paid with the privilege of cleaning. I'd imagine there are even animated brooms."

Both Lone and Wolfrider shuddered at Tycon's mention of animated cleaning supplies.

"F*ck brooms," Wolfrider bared his teeth.

Lone grimaced and looked to a wall, "Y-yeah, I don't want to see another animate inanimate object ever again."

That made no sense.

Though confused, Tycon kept an impassive face, "Rest for a short while, and we'll continue up the tower."

Sasha - “...What issssss... taking the knot?”

Tycon - “Tying the knot is when two lovers get married.”

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