Ch28. Natasha's Decision

It was evening and Tony came out of his workshop, tired and hungry, and also happy that Natasha was in charge of ordering their food. No Pepper meant no salad.

When he finally arrived in the kitchen, Tony instantly spotted the roasted chicken legs and rice on the table while Natasha was ever-so-innocently sitting at one side of the table, patiently waiting for him and acting far too normal.

Tony looked at her, then at the chicken legs, and promptly rubbed his hand over his face. It was obvious something troublesome was coming.

With a sigh, Tony walked towards the table and seated himself before throwing a pointed look at Natasha. "Okay. I know you got the memo from Pepper about roasted chicken legs being my favorite. So, spill. What's wrong."

"Does anything have to be wrong just because I ordered roasted chicken legs?" Natasha tilted her head with a small smile and leaned forward, supporting her chin with her hand.

"Yes." Tony bluntly deadpanned.

Natasha's smile faltered, "Fine. I want to know your opinion on something." She hesitantly spoke while filling her plate with a chicken leg and rice.

"And I guess it is something I won't like." Tony flatly nodded, also filling his plate.

This was simply far too much effort just for a simple conversation. It would be either about Captain America or being a hero again. Both topics he definitely did not enjoy and Natasha was fully aware of it.

After all, he did put a stop to every attempt of hers to speak about them when she subtly tried to steer the conversation towards them. She almost succeeded several times too...

"I don't know." Natasha revealed and it was the truth too.

She really had no idea how Tony would react. Whenever she tried to make a conversation lead towards her desired topic, Tony quickly steered away. Today she decided she would just be blunt. That she will be Natasha rather than Black Widow and instead of trying to make him reveal his opinion subtly, she would just ask. The chicken was just to appease him.

"I see. Is that supposed to scare me?" Tony asked and pointed at Natasha with the chicken legs he held in his hand, "Because I think it is working. I have the sudden desire to vacate the premises."

"Tony," Natasha solemnly called out, "I am serious."

Tony looked at her, seeing that she meant it, and sighed. "Fine," He petulantly pouted and crossed his arms on his chest but his eyes showed he would humor her if only reluctantly. "I like funny Natasha more. Serious Natasha is too stiff."

Of course, he had to have the last word.

Natasha's serious facade cracked at that and she involuntarily chuckled, surprising even herself. During these past few days, her self-discipline and self-control suffered a great hit. She found herself to be more... spontaneous around Tony.

Which... wasn't bad per se and it really made her feel good to be able to just turn off the constantly guarded side of hers but her pride and training were making her feel a bit uncomfortable doing it. She had a hard time dealing with these emotions.

"I want to know what would you do in my place. With the Avengers Initiative, I mean." Natasha said, looking quite uncomfortable. It was clear she was really agonizing over this topic. "I thought about it these past few days but I just... I can't decide."

'As I thought,' Tony inwardly sighed. 'It is something troublesome.'

"Too used to following orders, eh, Widow?" He quipped with mild sarcasm in his tone, hoping she would fall for it.

"Yes." Natasha bluntly agreed, startling Tony.

When Tony saw she wasn't keen on saying anything more and just intently waited for his reply, he understood his last attempt at changing the topic failed.

"I would do exactly as I am doing right now. Do you see me restarting the Avengers Initiative, Red?" Tony dryly said, his appetite leaving him. He inwardly cursed. There was his favorite food in front of him and she just had to ruin it.

"Yes, but I want to hear your reasons." Natasha pressed on.

"You really want to hear my opinion?" Tony's shoulders slumped and he sourly asked as he realized she won't let it go, "I warn you. You won't like it. Not one bit."

Natasha just silently but resolutely nodded with a determined expression and keen interest etched on her face.

"Rogers is too much trouble." Tony carefully started as if measuring each word before uttering it, "Just imagine what disaster he would cause if we freed him early and he somehow found out the SHIELD is infested with Hydra before Loki attacked and decided to clean the house so to speak. He would have caused internal strife at the worst possible time and I doubt he would really care. That's just one problem with him. I don't like the guy but I would get him out of the ice if it wasn't so troublesome. Many things I am about to do would be wrong according to his utterly ridiculous moral compass. He is so stubbornly straightforward and has to deal with a problem the second he finds it even if he is seriously outgunned that it is ridiculous."

Tony really did not like Captain America. He was a thinker while Cap was a muscle. Not to say that Rogers was stupid but... yeah, he was stupid.

"Then there is Banner." Tony shook his head. "Do you think I can help him? The second I try to do so, the US army will be on my case with the fierceness of a scorned wife. Right now, I am just an arms dealer who is no longer selling cannons. Do you think General Ross is the only man gunning for Banner? He is just the loudest and dumbest one. I don't need these kinds of problems on my doorsteps. Not when I know that Bruce will be fine even without me." He curtly said, "Plus we were never all that close. We had respect towards each other as scientists but..." Tony helplessly shrugged in an 'I tried.' gesture.

Tony thought Banner needed these years of roaming across the world in his despair-induced self-pity. It made him a better person and taught him many important skills among which was how to deal with his constant anger.

As cruel as that might be towards Banner, Tony simply didn't see why he should care.

"The concept of Avengers is good on the paper but it is fundamentally flawed. You can't protect the entire planet with just a handful of individuals. You can't fight alien invasions with just a few people. Not unless they are vastly more powerful than the aliens. There is a reason why Danvers can do cosmical policing and it is not because she has a nice ass. She is powerful with very few who can actually oppose her. That's all." Tony let out a sour sigh, "It is surprising Avengers Initiative worked so well but it is arrogant beyond belief to think a group with not even ten members can protect the world. We had more luck than I have money."

Natasha nodded in acceptance and much to Tony's surprise didn't try to argue about his reasons.

Tony's reasons were... well, she was aware there was much more he wasn't telling her. She herself was aware of many problems with both Steve and Bruce. But she still thought of them as friends. She also didn't think about Avengers from that angle but now that Tony pointed it out...

"In the end, it all comes down to this, Natasha." Tony solemnly said, showing he totally means what he is going to say next, "There are people and things that I am willing to sacrifice, and then there are people and things that I am not willing to sacrifice. That's all there is to it." Tony said plainly.

There was no need to sugar-coat it. Natasha was well aware of 'necessary sacrifices'. In her profession, it was a common occurrence. She just didn't want to count her friends among them. Unfortunately for her, that's exactly what the Avengers were for Tony. Necessary sacrifices. People he wouldn't bother helping because... at the end of the day, they did not need help. They would be fine even without him.

Tony continued without stopping, "The only people I would go through so much trouble for are Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, and you. Rogers and Banner are not include-"

"Me?" Natasha suddenly interrupted, dumbstruck, staring at Tony with her wide, green eyes.

"What?" Tony asked and furrowed his forehead in confusion.

"I am important to you?" Natasha intently observed Tony's expression, trying to find something in there.

Tony quickly scowled and instantly disagreed, "I didn't say that."

An amused and teasing smirk appeared on Natasha's face, "Yes, you did." She confidently stated back, feeling happy.

"You just imagined it." Tony rolled his eyes at her.

Natasha shook her head in a refusal. "Nu-uh."

Tony exasperatedly stared at her. "Well, I take it back!" He exclaimed.

"Rejected again." Natasha's smile widened.

"You really expect me to argue about what I did or did not say?" Tony gave her an unamused stare. This was his house! He was obviously in the right.

"Then don't argue and just accept it." Natasha casually shrugged, clearly amused by their calm 'argument'.

"Fine. I could say I was born to argue but instead I will be the bigger man and say I got no comeback for that." Tony smugly stated with 'how's that!?' expression.

"Mhm." Natasha suddenly stopped their verbal ping-pong and took her glass of wine, taking a big sip, "I have decided."

"What?" Tony had a hard time keeping up. She was jumping from one thing to another and he was just a man.

"About Avengers Initiative." Natasha pointed out.

Tony's expression lit up with understanding, "Already?" He asked with a slightly mocking tone, looking at his nonexistent wristwatch, "It has been what? Five minutes? I expected you to take longer! And you said you had problems deciding." He good-naturedly snarked, grinning at Natasha who gave him an exasperated eye-roll back.

"I won't try restarting it. I once followed Steve because his values were close to my own. I want to see if your approach will change things for the better. This time, I will follow you."

Tony mock-grimaced, "Sounds like pain." He dryly droned.

"I totally agree." Natasha concisely nodded, watching Tony with her gleaming green eyes, waiting for his follow-up remark.

"Eh. Okay." Tony casually accepted.

Now that she didn't expect. "Okay?" Natasha blinked in puzzlement.

Tony just grinned in victory before standing up and swiftly walking towards her, making use of her shock. "Yup..." He said, taking her hand into his, "come with me." He pulled her to her feet and Natasha barely managed to recollect herself before yet another thing that blew her mind happened.

Tony waved his hand in a circular motion in front of himself and a... portal opened to a room where a bald woman in monk-like attire sat, trying to solve a crossword puzzle. When the woman felt the fluctuations in the air, she raised her head and smiled upon seeing Tony.

Tony smirked back and turned towards Natasha. "Natasha, Tao. Tao, Natasha. Meet you new cult leader, young padawan."

And for the first time in a long, long time, Natasha had no idea how to react as Tony pulled her through the portal.