Chapter 20

DEMI

I know I should forget it. Heck, I should have forgotten all about it by now, the way I struggle to remember what Ashley's lips felt like when we kissed but every time I look at the man in front of me, the evergreen memory of that thirty seconds long kiss all comes flooding back. I watch him rise, a conspicuous scowl on his face as he walks up to me.

"Thank you, Rachel. You can go back to your desk." I hear the clomp of the smallish secretary's shoes as she skitters away. My eyes remain trained on Ashton. Would I have struggled to forget the kiss if Ashley had been in his place? I continue to wonder as his bluish orbs of eyes peer into my soul. What exactly is this pull? The more I ruminate over the kiss, the more I realize that the act itself isn't the reason I get flustered around Ashton; it's the man himself.

"Gris, if you would excuse us."

The bespectacled man bows and quietly leaves. Ashton and I hold each other's gaze for a moment longer. His face is impossible to read.

"I have a very important meeting to attend this morning and I should be preparing for it. This better be good, Branson."

Though his eyes are flat and his voice cold, it fails to register the silent threat. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Thus, I tear my eyes away from his daunting ones to survey his office. It's a cozy space with minimalistic designs. There's barely any clutter at all. Every art, furniture and even potted plant seem to be needed to complete the look. I imagine that even trying to move a paper clip will be risky as it will instantly be noticed, terribly missed and frantically searched for.

My eyes return to Ashton's face. His facial muscles are a little bit relaxed now and he doesn't look like he wants to rip my head off for ruining his day a little shy of eight am.

"Yes, this is still about the kiss." I blurt out his suspicion. Before he can finish rolling his eyes, I continue. "I'm not losing sleep over it but apparently Ashley is." Ashton's eyes soften with concern.

"What makes you say that?"

He's been avoiding me. He didn't speak to me this morning and hasn't returned any of my calls. I need you to help me talk to him."

I hate that I have to beg like this. I need Ashely back on my side so Liam doesn't foil my plans by making a grand entrance. Liam is very impatient and erratic. He's being sending me a countdown to his self-introduction to the quadruplets. I am not ready to have one more man hovering around me.

Ashton scoffs and returns to his seat. He reclines in the chair with a hand on his chin. My breath catches once more. He looks very different under this light. Instantly, I realize I might as well be staring at Asher given the sophisticated and ambitious bent, Ashley given the sultry smile on Ashton's face, Ashal with the eyes that seem clear yet full of secrets. The all-black outfit in this moment is the only thing that screams Ashton, until he opens his mouth again.

"What do you care? You don't give a fuck about any of us. It's no secret, Branson how much you keep your distance from us, even Ashley who chose to be with you and treats you like a decent human being. The only time you let us breathe close to you is when you don't have a choice, case in point being your kiss with Ashley." His leans forward and steeples his fingers like his father normally does. "And ours was purely a mistake. Even if Ashely had been in my place, I a certain you only allowed yourself to go that far for personal gain. To that end, I am glad that my brother wasn't there but me."

I squeeze my eyes shut and strap down on the temper building inside me. "I don't care what the rest of you think of me but I do care about Ashley. Like you said, he is kind, respectful and caring. Yes, I admit that at first, I was wary of him because of his reputation but after spending time with him, I came to realize what a gem of a man he is." Ashton winces at my choice of words but I carry on. "I hate that I hurt him. I want to make peace with him. The rest of you can keep witch-hunting me for all I care."

"You must really think he has fallen for you." His short derisive laugh afterwards stings my pride. "You're wrong. Ashely has always been a gentleman or at least he tries more than the rest of us. He's not interested in finding love so reduce your expectations. I'll tell you what I know. My brother isn't avoiding you; he's just back to being his regular, old self after his patience with you ran out."

He rises. "He's got plans with Nicola today. My advice to you will be to stick to the contract, be done with it and leave us alone." I hate how he says that with a straight face. My eyes sweep his office again as I consider if it's worth bugging his office by planting the listening devices in my bag. Nah. I can tell Ashton barely spends time in here. He wouldn't even host his brothers here so I can't get any incriminating admissions from their conversations. I have to find their hangout spot. If not the offices, then at the mansion. I have to find a way to bug their rooms too.

"I knew it would be of no use talking to you. You're not as reasonable as you look." When I swivel to leave, he rounds up on me, a dark, feral look in his eyes. My breath catches and absently, I find my eyes trailing to his lips.

"You watch your little mouth, Branson." I stagger backwards until I am pressed against his desk. His eyes hone in on my quivering lips. My heart is racing wildly. Delicious little fires erupt inside me as his breath fans my face. His arms are clamped on both sides of the desk, trapping me with the heat of his body. We lock eyes and I fear I will get lost in his if I don't leave now.

I lean forward and whisper in his left ear. "It's Mrs. Ashley Rollins to you." His shoulder droops and immediately, I give it a light shove and walk out.

My heart is still thumping wildly when Anna places a plate of pasta and some wine in front of me. She's currently working full time at one of Ashley's friend's new restaurant and the pay, as she had excitedly told me, is very good.

"Are you okay? You're red in the face."

I blink my eyes, flushing the dirty thoughts of what could have happened between me and Ashton if I hadn't left the second I did, down the recesses of my mind.

"I'm fine." Anna frowns when I empty my glass of water in seconds.

"Tell me quickly." She demands. "I can spare a few minutes."

"No!" I can't have her getting reprimanded so early at her new job. "I just had a little tiff with Mr. S. I'll call you later and tell you all about it." I stare down disinterestedly at my food. I can't stomach it. I need to see mother, urgently. After paying for the untouched food and tipping Anna, I hurry into the car and have the driver take me home.

I can't keep this up. One way or another, I have to figure out the particular Rollin quad that I married that night. It was all spelt out in my late mother's diary which I stumbled upon while cleaning aunt Elizabeth's room. I have to find that one brother who is fond of drinking whiskey more than any other brew of alcohol. Mum said some disturbing things about him in her last entry which leads me to suspect he knows more about that night five years ago.

It was with great effort that I convinced Anna to keep a close eye on the brothers whenever they visited the Blue Cove. She noted their drinks and tried to note the brother who consistently stuck with whiskey. For a long time, their orders varied but that night, Anna had called me because this lone brother has ordered only whiskey and nothing else. He had been semi-drunk when I stumbled into the room, pretending to be tipsy myself.

I was prepared for a one-night stand which is a staple for the quads. My original plan was to fake a pregnancy, create enough buzz with Billion-Err to get the Rollins family to accept me into their home. However, the Ash Rollins I had met in that club was broken and in pain. He wasn't just drinking to alleviate his sorrow. It almost felt like he wanted to end it all. We had our moment and he started talking about doing something crazy. When he dragged me to the church, I was perplexed but couldn't break character especially since he literally made thing easier for me.

What I didn't count on was the brothers protecting each other and denying me in the end despite hard proofs. Hence, the mess I find myself in right now. My head aches. I don't know why it stings that Ashley has plans with Nicola or why I can't get Ashton out of my head. I am human after all. However, in spite of the confusing thoughts, I have no plans to hit the break on my mission.

"Mother?"

Mrs. Rollins looks up from her call and waves me into her bedroom. I ignore the sumptuous looking room and stand in front of me. Tears shimmer in my eyes. I need her to take this seriously and help me out. Thankfully, she apologizes to her caller and hangs up.

"Demi dear, is everything okay?"

I let the tears fall freely now and collapse at her feet. "Nothing is okay, mother. Everything is wrong." I lay my head on her thigh and cry.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I can't do it. I know I promised you I'd help with your sons but I can't with all the odds stacked up against me." She wipes the tears running down my face as I carry on. "Your sons, they're making me go crazy. I know the circumstances under which I got married and lord knows I have tried to be a good daughter-in-law the best way I can. I wake up every day only thinking of how I can prove myself to this family or contribute to its glowing reputation. I don't expect much in return, except the basic human respect."

"Who disrespected you?" Mother hurriedly asks.

I sob some more. "I'm a laughing stock in Danvarr. Everyone knows I can't even tell which of the quads I am married to. I don't know who I married that night either. They all keep switching on me still. Mother, Ashley and I have recently been growing as friends. I don't know if it'll lead to more but after our kiss at the restaurant, we had a little fight. I felt really bad and wanted to make it up to him so I went into his room for the first time. I-I wanted us to kiss and make up."

"And?"

"I thought for sure I wouldn't mistake him for anyone else. I was wrong," Mother takes a deep breath and smoothens my hair.

"You kissed his brother. Which one?"

"Ashton." Mortified, I bury my face in my hands. "Maybe everyone is right; Billion-Err, my ex, the quads. I am a slut."

"No dear, don't say that."

"But it's true. I don't know how many times I have mistaken Ashton, Asher or Ashal for Ashley. Asher came into my room the other day and tried to…touch me." Mother's eyes boggle with dread. "I was so scared he was going to rape me and he did confirm that he could if he wanted to and nobody would know he wasn't Ashley. This is exactly what I feared would happen if I can't tell the quads apart. It's the reason I put in that clause, because I don't want to be shared by all four brothers like a toy."

Mother pats my head and consoles me. "They are even worse than I feared. How could they disrespect you like that?"

"The man I met that night at the Blue Cove," I begin, earning a surprised glance from mother. "I remember everything now. I have never connected to anyone the way I did with him. He was different without his brothers around. He was kind. He didn't look to take advantage of a drunk woman even though he could easily have gotten away with it." Sniffling, I rise to my feet. "That's why I insisted on being with THAT Ash Rollins because I…I hoped there was more to our story and we could be happy together."

"Mother" I continue plopping on the chair next to her. "You had told me you suspected who my initial husband was. Please tell me his name."

"Demi, you're married to Asher now."

"It's only a contract marriage which will end in a year and Ashley has made it abundantly clear that he wants Nicola." I dig my fingers in my hair and tug. "They're always having lunch dates in his office while I am here, walking around on egg shells and wondering when I would stop being the victim of a media witch-hunt due to the horrible accusations my ex made."

"I'll talk to Ashely."

"No. I don't want his pity or his loyalty born out of compulsion. I just want to know the man I met at the Blue Cove. I need closure mother. Answers. If he doesn't want me, I'll let it be. Please, just tell me who you think it is."

Mother sighs deeply. "And if it's Ashley?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I don't think it is. Asher clearly explained that Ashley is the last brother that will commit to a woman for the long term and I have reasons to believe that. I don't believe it was Ashley." The memory floods back again. "Like I said, he wasn't looking to take advantage of me. He wouldn't even touch my hair until I let him. I kissed him first and that was when he felt comfortable kissing me back. He bit my lower lip once he got excited. I think it was an accident as he apologized profusely."

Mother is watching me. Her face contorts with every detail I give. "Demi, I don't know anything about how my sons kiss women…"

"He drank a lot whiskey. He was very particular and wouldn't let them serve him anything else." Something shifts in mother's eyes. Her brain wheels are turning now with recognition so I follow through with the last unique detail I can recall. "One last thing, he was weirdly sensitive and jerked back from our kiss when I tried to fist my hands in his hair."