Chapter 7

MCKINLEY P.O.V

I had asked Audrey three times if she was still comfortable going to the party and each time she insisted that she was and that I needed to stop worrying. Of course she dug through my closet for hours trying to find a dress to wear that would actually fit her. I wasn't sure who she was trying to impress.

I wasn't sure if I should have allowed her to wear that dress but who was I to stop her?

We had made our way down to the party around 8. Thankfully we weren't the first one's there. I hated being there first.

Once people actually started showing up and drinking and playing games, I felt a lot more calm. I lost Audrey in the crowd but she seemed fine talking with Ashton's siblings and dancing to the songs that she knew.

I stood in the kitchen overlooking the living room where people were dancing and singing.

"So who are you kissing at midnight?" Michael came up to me.

"Am I suppose to kiss someone?" I asked.

"Of course you are." I rolled my eyes playfully while he grinned. "I've heard rumors."

"About what?" I took a sip of my drink.

"I shouldn't say." Suddenly Luke rushed over to us and pulled Michael away from me. I watched them argue for a few minutes before turning to the chips and the dip. The diet starts tomorrow anyway.

"I'm sorry about him." Luke said running a hair through his long curls.

"He didn't do anything." I commented. "What's the rumor?"

"I don't know anything about a rumor." I knew that something was going on but I wasn't going to push it. I don't think I wanted to know anyway.

About an hour later I was finally able to get my hands on the remote and turn on Dick Clarks Rockin' New Years Eve so that we could see the countdown to midnight.

I had gotten a few more drinks into me and I was more than tipsy when I stumbled over to Luke giggling. I hadn't seen him all night and I wanted to know where he went. "Who is Mike kissing at midnight?" I questioned holding onto his arm.

"I'm assuming his girlfriend."

"Who's his girlfriend?" I asked looking around. They hadn't really introduced me to anyone. I was a little upset that no famous people came but that's okay.

"The girl with black hair and her vagina nearly hanging out from under her dress." I giggled as the girl he was describing moved in front of Michael and shoved her tongue down his throat.

"Wow." She was beautiful for sure and she seemed very comfortable with herself.

"I know. She's a lot to handle." He took a swig of his beer. "She lives alone and she insists on staying here over night. I haven't slept in a week because I can hear them fucking through the wall." I laughed and hopped on the counter next to him and leaned into him. Suddenly the alcohol was getting to me and I needed to slow down or I wouldn't get the see the ball drop.

"I have a couch." I shrugged.

"I don't wanna disrupt your life because of them." Suddenly people started counting down from 30 and I hadn't realized that it was that close to midnight. Luke pulled me with him to the living room where everyone else was shouting the countdown.

I smiled watching him as he was smiling. As we got closer to one he turned to me. As soon as everyone shouted one, he kissed me.

I automatically kissed him back. We hadn't kissed like that in a long time and I had missed it. I was so so stupid for allowing it, but I needed it. Whether we got back together or not, I needed to feel that with him again. I pulled back to get air before kissing him again and wrapping my arms around his shoulders bringing him closer to me. He tasted like beer and wings but it was him.

I was breathing heavy by the time we pulled back and he was as red as a lobster.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to his bedroom that was set up exactly how it was in New York. I got my skirt off before he could even think. To his surprise I was actually wearing panties.

"Are you still on birth control?" He asked right behind me and I nodded as he kissed my left shoulder and made his way to my neck. I tilted my head so that he could have better access. I closed my eyes and felt his burning into me. "Turn around." I slowly spun and as soon as I was facing him, I opened my eyes and he lifted my shirt over my head and lifted me to throw me on the bed. "God, I have missed seeing you like this."

I was at my most vulnerable in this moment. There were two little pieces of fabric between me and him and I was suddenly very aware of it. Aware that he hasn't seen me like this in a very long time. I couldn't remember if I had shaved or not. Not that he would care but I did. He was the love of my life and here he was, with me.

"Please." I moaned out as he kissed every inch of my skin. "Do something." He slide my panties down my legs before running a finger up my slit making me arch my back. He reached over and grabbed what I was assuming was a condom but then I felt some cold liquid touch my skin.

"Don't worry it's just a water based lube." He commented at my reaction to the cold. He slid on a condom before slowly thrusting into me. I groaned and pulled him into me gripping at the skin on his back. I didn't want him to leave. I never wanted to leave his arms again and I knew that tomorrow was going to be a different day but he was still the same Luke who didn't want to be in a relationship with me.

*NEXT MORNING*

I woke up alone. And I knew I was going to. I knew that Luke regretted it. I knew that he was going to think that I thought that this meant that we were going to be getting back together. I knew it didn't mean that.

I was able to find a shirt and a pair of sweats to wear out into the kitchen where Ashton was making coffee.

"Where's Audrey?" I asked him.

"My bed with Lauren." I nodded. "Coffee?" I shook my head and instead rushed off to my apartment to shower and get dressed. Once I was looking normal, I went back down to get my clothes from yesterday and to let Audrey know that I would be back at the apartment when she woke up for the day.

I was laying on the couch wallowing in my own self pity when Audrey came in.

"Luke's been looking for you." She said before going off down the hallway to shower. I had no idea what Luke could possibly say to me but I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear it. If it wasn't good news, then it bad news and I wasn't sure it was something that I needed to hear today. We had an amazing night last time and I didn't want it to be ruined by him telling me that he didn't want to be with me. I already knew he didn't want to be.

Audrey came out dressed and asked if she could go with Ashton, Lauren and Harry to go look around the city. After she left, Luke came into the apartment and looked at me.

"Don't say it." I sighed sitting down. I couldn't handle the words from him right now.

"You don't know what I'm going to say."

"Yes I do. You're going tell me that you don't want to be in a relationship right now." I answered for him. I knew it was true. Just a few weeks ago he told me the same thing.

"You're right. But please know that I don't regret ever doing that with you last night. I very much enjoyed it and I truly think that someday we will get back together." He commented. I believed him. I knew I wanted to be with Luke. I wanted to grow old with him. It was all up to him now and what he wanted. I knew what I wanted. I was willing to wait for it.

*LUKE P.O.V*

I was so stupid. I really was. I had her exactly where I wanted her. I wanted her here with me and now that she is, I'm too chicken to ask her out even though I know that she'll say yes. I knew she wanted to be with me. We both knew it. I don't know why I couldn't do it.

It broke my heart seeing her cry about it. I never ever wanted to be the person who caused her that type of pain. She deserved everything she has ever wanted in this life. Everything.

I wanted to hold her and tell that someday we would have each other again and that I loved her but I knew that the second I held her in my arms like that, I would never let her go. I was too busy with work right now and I didn't want her to feel left behind.

The pained look on her face when I told her that I was moving to L.A was a face that I never wanted to see again and if I could help it, I will never make her feel like that again.

I was moping around the house and Ashton stopped me as I came into the kitchen looking for food.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I slept with McKinley."

"I know." He casually commented as he made himself a sandwich. "We all know." I sighed. I mean, I wasn't stupid. I knew that they all knew that something happened between us. Hell I told them that I was going to kiss her at midnight. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I know I want to be with her but it's difficult. I work a lot and when I'm not working, I wanna lay in bed. Of course she's just as busy so I guess she'll understand but I don't know." I rambled sitting down at the island. "I'm just stupid."

"Yeah. You are. You have everything you have ever wanted in the palm of your hands and you're not grabbing it." He was right. "Fucking hold on, Luke! And don't let go."

I have to hold my girl.