Touch, feel, remember

The first session of our last semester started a month ago, and I had squandered two thirds of the money dad left me. I barely had enough for the first year of college and I was still in high school. In almost a year I'd spent so much. Sixty thousand dollars, gone down the drain. And the worst part, I'd not heard from Andrew in over four months.

Uncle Nathan had asked me if I knew where he was. Or what he was doing at least, and I'd lied through my teeth to him. I thought I was honoring the bro code Andrew had taught me. I thought I was being smart.

Not smart enough for Andrew… He'd played me like a footballer on a good day.

Telling uncle Nath now was something I couldn't muster up the courage to do. Besides, if I told him about Andrew, it would be like telling on myself. The whole thing was complicated.

Thinking about my predicament was draining the life out of me. I'd lost the zest to live.

I didn't know what to do. I was an eighteen year old who was in her final year of high school, no family, and yet, I was in deep financial shit. There was no way I'd come out of this.

Saying I had messed up big time was the understatement of the year.

I groaned, my head between my legs as I sat on the bench in the basketball room, mumbling and almost in tears.

What have I done?

How do I get out of this mess?

"Hey."

Startled, I raised my head. Tyler was standing in front of me in only his Jersey shorts.

I swallowed saliva when my eyes scrutinized his body. Taut muscled chest and packs. For an eighteen year old, he looked too sexy. It was definitely because of all the sports.

But damn!!! The difference between Tyler and those Greeks gods I liked to read about was the Greek part. Tyler would pass for a god in my book.

Flustered, I stood up immediately, looking to my side, away from his yummy flesh, "Uhm, I'm sorry. I didn't know somebody was in here. I'll leave now."

For the last year, I'd managed to avoid meeting him. Or talking to him. Or being in the same room alone with him. Which was hard, and not just because we had many classes together. I still had a huge crush on Tyler. And for some stupid, unknown reason, I couldn't get over my crush.

"Stop. You don't have to leave. I'll go instead." He said and turned around. I watched him walk away. Even his back was delicious.

I immediately stopped ogling him and began to panic when he stopped abruptly and started walking back towards me.

Confusion was not the only thing that plagued. For some stupid reason, I was afraid. And I couldn't decide if I should run or stand still.

He stopped, leaving a good distance between us. He had no idea how grateful I was for that.

"Why are you avoiding me?" His brows knitted together.

"What do you mean?" I feigned confusion.

"You know what I mean. You've been avoiding me for a long time. Isn't a year enough?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I smiled shyly.

"Sophie."

"Fine. But you know why I've been avoiding you." I bowed my head.

"I knew then. But it's been so long I've forgotten."

It had been very long. I mean, he and Sharon had been broken up since summer break. But still…

I looked at Tyler, and as usual, my tongue was tied.

"Why didn't you use the gift I got you last year?"

His question came as a surprise.

"I used it."

"Sophie, I can tell when you're lying."

"But I didn't rapidly move my eyes up and down."

After he told me about a potential flaw in my lying ability, I made it a priority to work on it.

"That's not the point. You didn't use the gift and I know. Why?"

"Honestly, I never opened it. I don't even know what it is. It's in a special spot in my house. A place where I keep things that mean a lot to—shit." I closed my eyes and bent my head, squeezing my mouth.

Why did I have to add that part?

I heard a faint chuckle coming from Tyler, so I raised my head. He was really laughing.

"It's not funny." I said, upset.

"No. It's not." Tyler climbed up the benches and sat beside me. I shifted a little, creating space between us. He was too close to me. His perfume had filled my nostril and clouded my head. The thoughts I was having of him and me was not okay.

Thank God this was school premises.

"What was the gift?"

"If you want to know, then open it. But it's no use to you now."

"Since it's no use, tell me what it is then."

"It's a… I can't tell you. I really want you to see it for yourself. Maybe it'll be a good 'next' conversation starter."

My lips spread into a smile. I felt giddy inside thinking about the next time I'd be talking to Tyler.

"You know Sophie, I didn't give you that present because I pitied you."

I couldn't believe it. It had been a year and he could still remember what we talked about.

"Then why did you give it to me?"

"Because I liked you. And that day, I'd mustered up the courage to tell you."

I gulped, swallowing saliva after struggling to breathe properly for like three seconds.

"But… you were, you were still with Sharon then."

Tyler looked at me. "There was a reason for that."

"A reason?"

"Yeah. If you promise not to run from me again, I might tell you the reason."

I blushed.

"Wait, Liked? You said liked?"

Shit! I said what I was thinking out loud, again.

I bit my lower lip. Tyler's guffaw echoed in the room.

"Wrong choice of word. I meant like. I like you Sophia Landry. And I would love to get to know you better."

Tyler stood up. "I have to go now. See you tomorrow, Sophie." And with that, he jogged out of the room, leaving me with butterflies in my stomach.

***

The second I got to the house, I rushed into my room and opened my closet. Bending to the ground, I removed the tile I'd used as a disguise for the door to my sanctuary. Dad had built this small haven for me. Everything I'd ever thought precious, was in there.

I pulled out things one after the other. The first was my pink teddy bear, mr. comfort. Mum had bought him for me. I couldn't remember, but according to dad, when she was sick, and before she passed away, she'd gifted him to me. I patted his head, feeling a little down as I remembered the history of my lovable teddy bear.

The next thing that came out was the first handbag dad ever bought for me. It was four years ago. A leather designer handbag was trending and I wanted to have it. It was expensive, and somehow, dad had managed to buy it for me. Now it looked worn out. The leather had peeled off. I should have thrown it away, but I just couldn't.

After that, Tyler's present came out. It was still in perfect condition. Still wrapped in the purple gift wrapper. I came out of my closet, placed the gift on my bed, and I sat down. With twitchy shaky hands, I removed the wrapper. The box was white.

The suspense was killing me but I wanted to enjoy the process. I wanted to take my time and revel in the moment.

I should have done this a year ago, but I'd been subsumed in depression and sadness. They'd refused me even the smallest joy.

I finally lifted the lid and opened the box.

I brought out the paper that looked like a ticket. When my eyes finally recognized what it was, I almost screamed.

"A ticket to a Bts concert and I missed it…?"

Kill me now. Please, kill me now.

At that moment, I instinctively reached for my phone to call Tyler, realizing that I didn't have his number, I put my phone down.

After moping for what felt like hours, I went back to my haven for precious things. My hand had hit something sturdy earlier while I was searching for Tyler's gift.

When I dipped my hand back in, I confirmed that something sturdy was indeed in there. I tried pulling it out, and that's when I remembered what it was.

Dad's safe. The one he'd mentioned in his letter.