PART 4 – BETWEEN DECISION AND DESPERATION

When I woke up, I vividly remembered how I had devoured that animal. The taste of blood and the texture of raw meat churned my stomach. I approached the hole to vomit again. My body hadn't obeyed me at that moment; instinct had acted on its own will. The vomit brought with it bone fragments and undigested pieces of meat, which disgusted me even more.

The huge watering trough was filled with water again; the mechanism must have been refilled from the outside, so no one had to come in here to fill it. They had thought of everything.

Approaching the trough, I filled my mouth with water, swirled it around, and spat it back into the well. The taste of meat still lingered in my mouth; water wouldn't be enough to rid the flavor, but at least its earthy taste would considerably dull it. I repeated the process several times.

After rinsing my mouth, loneliness began to envelop me. Not having the mind engaged in some activity often leads to reflection. However, the place didn't help either, as solitary as one would expect from a cell and, furthermore, so claustrophobic that, if I were human, I'm pretty sure I'd already be completely desperate and terrified. Yet, I wasn't entirely alone, as I had the only company that would never abandon me: my thoughts.

I paced in circles, seeking any clue that might have gone unnoticed until that moment. After my rounds, I noticed several things. Firstly, the cell showed signs of being soundproofed, as I couldn't hear any sounds from outside; it was an isolation cell. Secondly, although lacking conclusive evidence, I had the firm impression that others could hear me from those steel-protected lights. Thirdly, and concluding, I realized that escaping from this place would be impossible, even without the collar around my neck. My attempts to charge the walls were futile; the place remained undisturbed against any impact.

I stopped, dejected, and slumped onto the mattress. At that moment, I sorely missed my cell phone or some book to pass the time. Although, if I were human, with these dim lights, I wouldn't be able to read easily.

Bored with everything, I had tired of pacing in circles and counting the eight ceiling lights over and over again. Loneliness and boredom are two great enemies of humans, although they affected me too, despite not being human. With nothing else better to do, I decided I'd sleep a little more. I closed my eyes and drifted back into the world of dreams.

Shortly after, I woke up to the sound of the hatch opening, accompanied by the sound of another tray being slid inside. Finally, the hatch closed as swiftly as it had opened.

Startled by the noise, I got up to check the content. The tray held a small live animal that wriggled relentlessly against the bindings that imprisoned it. The creature was of the same species as the one I had eaten, with black fur speckled with yellow spots, a head resembling that of a rabbit, but with six legs and a long, dog-like tail.

The animal seemed more terrified than I was, as it kept squealing. It was clear its destiny was to be devoured by me, but this was beyond me. I couldn't do it, at least not with a living being. Although the animal I had devoured had also been alive at some point, I had never eaten something that was still alive. Usually, all the meat I consumed was acquired from supermarkets, presented in trays and ready to be cooked.

Suddenly, the bindings restraining it released, and the animal stood up on its six legs. Far from trying to defend itself, it moved away from me while still squealing and observed me. It settled in the left corner, near the double doors. At some point, it stopped squealing and just watched my every move, just like me.

I was sure of one thing, no matter how hungry I was, I would never eat it. However, my body had already demonstrated it wouldn't obey me when hunger knocked. The animal was quite harmless and infinitely smaller than me, so it wouldn't be able to defend itself if I decided to eat it.

Ignoring it, I lay back on the mattress and closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them, the animal would have disappeared as if by magic. Although I knew such a scenario was unlikely even in this world, I clung to that hope as I closed my eyes and drifted back into sleep.

Another noise I hadn't perceived woke me again. The double doors opened, and three people appeared, two of them strangers to me. The third person was someone I recognized: Mibreg. Immediately, she issued an order.

"Grab the cuniojo."

The soldiers approached the frightened animal and subdued it without much difficulty; the poor thing was no match for the strength of those soldiers. They stood still in the corner, holding it by the legs, awaiting their superior's next orders.

Mibreg didn't utter more words; instead, she approached where I still lay, quite bewildered by the turn of events.

"Don't you want to eat? I don't understand what game you're playing," she inquired, finally, with a look of fury on her face. "If you're thinking of letting yourself die in this cell, you should know there are fates worse than death." She extended her hand toward me.

The collar began emitting an electric shock so strong it set the black mattress I was lying on on fire. The fire didn't hurt me, but the shock that had caused it did.

Mibreg lowered her hand, and the shocks ceased, but the fire continued burning for several more seconds. The woman with hair redder than fire flashed a diabolical smile that I'll never forget, anticipating what she would force me to do next.

"I want you to eat it, I want you to leave not a single hair, I want you to lick it until not a drop of blood remains."

The men approached with the animal and tossed it in my direction. The hexapod fell like a sack of potatoes in front of me and tried to stand up, but the steel floor made it difficult since it didn't have claws like me to walk on metal.

Mibreg raised her hand, and I knew what would happen if I didn't obey. I don't want to describe what happened at that moment; I would prefer to forget it, I would prefer to say that I let myself be electrocuted until I passed out, but that wasn't the case. The animal ended up in my stomach.

"From now on, you will be called Nixebus, the darkest flying creature in a storm cloud in the night sky."

She gave me a name with a maternal smile, as if I were her newborn son. Then, she ordered her men to leave first. They headed to the small foyer, where another double door was being opened from the outside. The woman followed them after, not before giving me another smile, closing the immense steel doors behind her on her own. She locked them and said to me, "If you obey, you won't have to suffer. You're intelligent; you know what I mean, don't you?"

She walked away, and for a moment, I saw sunlight; at that moment, I didn't know it would be the last time I'd see it for a long time. Finally, the doors closed, and I was completely alone again, with the memory of what I had done, crying and growling with anger, fear, helplessness, and more anger.

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