THREE

popular at school and she definitely followed in Tom's footsteps once she moved up. Their parents had obvious good genes. Tom was hot, Clara was beautiful, they were popular, people act like they're celebrities when they walk anywhere in school, actually in saying that it was like that with Tom before but that was all dubbed down after he befriended Claude, he was glad though because he hated being popular, he loved it before but he can live without it he said. Clara, however, thrived on it. The girls were jealous of how pretty she was, she had perfect skin, and rich hazelnut eyes, her beach-waved light brown hair always seemed to look perfect and she had the loveliest smile. Even though she was highly popular and sometimes walked about the corridors like she owned the place it didn't take away from the fact she was a lovely person as well. She was nice to people who were nice to her. If someone started on her though she turned into a feisty little thing. Most boys drooled over her and as mentioned before would ask Tom's permission to date her. I don't think Clara took any notice of that right enough and went ahead dating the guys anyway.

But Logan. Logan Bates. The biggest bully and misogynist in this school. Clara, what are you doing?

Clara quickly pulls away and chuckles. "Not here we'll get caught."

"So what?" Logan places both his hands on her waist. "I know we've only been together for a week but...it feels right. Don't it? So come round mine tonight and we can take things a step further."

I then stare at Clara and she was tensing up a little but she gives him a nod and a smile. "Yeah."

"Good." He kisses her again and she wraps her arms around his neck, deepening it.

Logan pulls away from her and studies her. "You're just so beautiful. I've gotta go football training but I'll see you later, Yeah?"

"See you later then." Clara grins and Logan winks at her before walking off. She smirks to herself before turning around and walking off down another corridor.

This was actually mental. I honestly felt like I was in a soap opera. Clara and Logan? What? How did that even happen? I knew one thing though.

I needed to speak to Tom.

•

Halle couldn't keep her eyes off the new girl.

Mrs Lowsly introduced new student Tosh Sakurai to the whole class and I studied her. Her black hair was up in a bit up and a bit down style, she had dark eyeliner running across her eyelid and her skirt was dangerous short over the school policy with matching fishnet tights. Round her neck was a pair of headphones and one thing that caught my eye was the pride badge secured on her jumper.

Slowly, I turn my head to Halle who still kept her eyes on her. All the way till Tosh was assigned a seat next to one of the chavs who was not happy about that.

As Tosh gets settled in her seat, Halle turns her head back and smiles as she stares ahead at Mrs Lowsly who carries on banging on about the banquet scene in Macbeth.

Smirking, I nudge my elbow into hers, grabbing her attention. "You're staring."

"I'm not!" Halle hits back defensively.

I giggle. "Yeah you are, you're like that."

I give an exact impression of what Halle had been doing the past minute and a half and receive a pathetic roll of the eyes back.

"Did you notice her pride badge? Any friend of the LGBTQ+ community is a friend of mine." Halle comments. "That's all."

I just nod and smile as Halle quickly glances back at Tosh again who was tense in her seat next to Lauren who was dousing herself in her Victoria Secrets perfume and giving slight looks of disgust towards the new girl.

Halle kept getting told to turn round by Mrs Lowsly and that's when I notice the blush in her cheeks. I've never seen her like this before. Which makes me think it's more than she's letting on.

•

So our football team won thanks to Tom who scored three out of four goals and so Chris had kept his promise — well kind of. He revealed on Wednesday that his friend 'Axeman' couldn't get us all the fake IDs before tonight so Chris decided on a get-together at his house instead. It was perfect as his mum was working a night shift at the old people's home so the whole house was ours to wreck our livers as much as we pleased.

However, I never got the courage or chance to tell Tom what I saw with Logan and Clara. The dilemma was that Logan was on the football team and even though Tom and Logan already have a mutual hatred for each other they always pushed it aside for the team's sake. And if I was to tell Tom about Logan and Clara before the match he would've kicked off. Then again football isn't more important than this situation. So I do need to tell him.

I was the last to arrive at Chris's but stole Kelly's raspberry crush vodka so had a few shots before I came and thankfully I was on the verge of tipsy along with everyone else who were sat around the floor and on the couch. I joined next to Tom on the couch and cuddled close to him, watching as a near-drunk Chris was trying to convince Claude and Luke to drink some alcohol.

"As amusing as it would be to see you get down on your hands and knees and beg, I'm not drinking. It destroys brain cells." Claude rants.

"Claude, you need to relax." Tom chuckles. "And it's not like you haven't drunk before."

"Oh yeah?" Chris places his hands on his hips and taps his foot repeatedly. "When was this?"

"While I was away at MIT," Claude says awkwardly. "I had the worst hangover and vowed never to drink again."

"Pfft, everyone says that and the cycle continues. Come on, Claude. You can make it yourself and it doesn't have to be strong." Chris says, flopping down next to Amy.

There was a silence before Claude soon tuts and rolls his eyes. "Fine! Just to shut you up!"

He grabs a shot glass before grabbing the bottle of vodka and pouring it into the glass, he slams the bottle down and downs the shot instantly within a second.

"Claude!" Luke lets out in disappointment. "You failed!"

"WEEEYYYYY THAT'S WHAT WE LIKE TO SEE, CLAUDIO!" Chris cheers and claps.

"So, Chris." Halle starts. "You sure this is okay? Your mum won't mind me using her wine?"

Chris shrugs. "Nah, she's not a heavy drinker. Not anymore anyway. It's her first night shift back at the elderly place for a while so we won't get caught."

"I hate old people." Amy randomly comments, slightly slurring her words. "They smell of wee."

"That's not very nice, Amy." Claude snaps back.

"Yeah, you saying my gran smells of wee?" Tom quizzes, raising an eyebrow.

"Well... no but—"

"— then your point is useless." Luke hits back.

Amy rolls her eyes and takes a few gulps from her drink.

"Ugh, your gran is the sweetest woman on the planet," Halle comments to Tom. "Not to be dramatic but I would die for her."

Tom chuckles. "Yeah, I love her a lot. She does have her feisty side though. We thought we had to call the police Tuesday night because Clara lied saying she was at her best friends when she wasn't. She didn't rock in till after midnight. Dad was yelling at her but gran was defending her and yelling at dad back. I'd never seen her so defensive. She was just worried though and didn't think Clara deserved to be shouted at, that's all."

Oh god. Then it clicks. Tuesday was when I saw Clara and Logan kissing and that's when Logan told her to come to his that night. She lied to her dad which meant she was at his. Oh god. I should've told Tom straight away.

"Where was Clara in the end? Did you know?" Halle asks.

Tom shakes his head. "No idea. She's been really quiet since then. I just hope it was nothing bad."

"Tom, can I have a quick word?" I ask quietly and in response, he gives me a confused but slightly concerned look.

"Yeah, of course." He agrees and we both make our way off the couch.

"LET'S GET THESE TUNES UP!" Chris yells and turns his speaker up to a higher volume, his trance blasting out immediately and I hear Halle and Amy cheering.

Meanwhile, I lead Tom into the kitchen and after he walks in, I shut the door behind him making his face scrunch up in more confusion.

"Sel?" He questions. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

I place my hands on my cheeks for a moment, pacing the kitchen until I come to a halt at the counter. I don't know whether he's going to be angry at me over this and I wouldn't blame him if he was.

"I think... I might know where Clara was on Tuesday. When you mentioned she lied about being at her friends I knew I should've said something."

Tom seemed a little taken aback but he still looked lost, despite his shoulders slightly rising in a tense manner. "Selena, what are you talking about?"

"Okay so... on Tuesday at school... I saw Clara and she was with Logan. Tom, they were... kissing. They're together." I reveal and I watch his face go from confused to shocked.

"What?!" Tom scoffs in sudden anger. "Logan?!"

I nod. "And I heard him ask for her to go to his so they could take their relationship a step further."

Immediately, Tom places his face in both his palms and motions them up and down for a second until they follow up into his small quiff. The next look he gave me was slight anger and frustration. "Selena, why didn't you tell me this? I could've stopped her this is wrong! She's fourteen and he's nearly eighteen! Not withstanding the fact that this is my fucking sister!"

"I'm sorry, I just... I didn't wanna make things awkward with you and Logan, you've already had a run-in with him before and nearly got expelled. I didn't know what you'd do if you found out about this. Plus you were so into wanting to win this match I didn't want you distracted."

Tom sighs deeply and shakes his head. "Sel, you should've told me straight away."

"I know. I'm sorry, I fucked up I should've told you straight away—"

"— hey." Tom cuts in, walking over to me and placing his hands on the top of my arms. "It's alright you've told me now. I get why you didn't but this is a situation that needs sorting. I'll wait till tomorrow. Tonight is for having fun, yeah? Let's just forget about this for now and have a good time with everyone else, okay?"

I nod and smile. "Yeah."

Tom returns the smile before giving me a quick peck on the lips. I was glad he wasn't too angry with me over it and we didn't fall out. He was right though, it does need to be dealt with.

I just hope he doesn't do anything too rash that he'll later regret.

•

Everyone was extremely drunk. Including me.

We had the tunes blasting and had gone through a good few bottles of vodka and gin alone. Claude and Luke gave up trying to be good a couple of hours ago and were now having a drunken competition of who could drink their drink the fastest.

Halle and Amy were sharing the armchair while feasting on the pizzas we ordered half an hour ago and I was on the sofa watching Tom and Chris slow dance together to 'All By Myself' by Celine Dion. They were waltzing about in a circle while screaming the lyrics at the same time and we all watched them while laughing and grinning.

I hear a ping from my phone and drunkenly try and find it within all the cushions on the sofa, stroking my hand and patting it violently against the leather of the sofa. Finally, I manage to grab it and turn it over so the screen automatically lights up against my face. My vision was like a spinning top but I could just about read the text message.

:

' '

.

???

Knowing, it wouldn't be a good idea to text him back given how drunk I was, I switch my phone off and toss it carelessly to the other side of the sofa. I didn't need it at the moment anyway.

By the time I looked back up, the songs were back to chavvy-like trance tunes and Halle had moved out of the way to give room for Chris so he could make out with Amy. They were growing extremely rough with it to the point Amy was sliding dangerously backwards off the armchair but they soon pull away before any damage could be done.

I decide to fill up a large glass with every single bit of alcohol I could see on the coffee table in front of me and make the deadliest mix of my life. From the corner of my eye, I see Tom practically stumbling over to me and he manages to catch himself on the table before he went fully flying.

"Whaaaat you doing?"

I ignore him and finish my masterpiece of a cocktail before passing the glass over to him. He smiles and takes it into his hand, completely unaware there are no mixers in it and it was just pure vodka and gin together. Confidently, he takes the biggest gulp but within seconds, he gags and places the glass back on the table loudly.

After he manages to swallow it, he lets out the biggest exhale and pulls the most disgusted look. "Are you tryna kill me off, Sel?!"

I laugh and take the glass into my hands before taking a gulp from it this time myself and I've got to admit, it was absolutely rotten. Never again am I doing that. However, I swallow it and it was like it had all hit me like a truck along with everything else I'd drunk tonight. I wobbly stand up and find myself in front of an equally fucked Tom who could barely keep his eyes open.

Our faces were extremely close together and I just about felt his hands on my waist which actually supported me up because my legs were about to give way. My hands glide to each side of his neck and every small action follows into another and another until eventually, we were kissing like our lives depended on it.

As soon as I shut my eyes on impact, the world started spinning, that was mostly to do with the alcohol but metaphorically speaking too. There was a slight gentleness when our lips were together that eventually turned into need and with every breath of air and back with the intimacy of our tongues together, I felt my entire stomach bind into complicated knots.

I realised what was happening to me and what the drink was enhancing but I was in no way intending to stop it. Quite frankly it felt amazing and I got the confidence I needed for a while. Because I was in my own little world, I had only just caught on that we weren't in the living room anymore but now somehow teleported into Chris's mum's room.

Despite not feeling myself in a complete full reality with the real world, I was enjoying this one and with every feeling I felt of Toms's lips at every inch of my skin was feelings indescribable that I've wanted to experience for a long time.

I was soon up on him in the middle of the room with little to nothing left covering the most intimate parts of my body and the same with him. I felt the light from the moon reflect against my skin from the window and I never let my lips go from Toms at that moment.

Eventually, I felt my back against the mattress and weird feelings grow in my lower abdomen. My brain was foggy and all over the place but my body knew what it was doing. Everything felt right at this moment in time.

For once, I let my body do the talking.

•

Holy shit.

Me and Tom slept together last night and I don't remember a single thing. At all. I lost my virginity and I don't remember any of it. How stupid could I be to do that? And what made it worse was the fifty-odd missed calls from dad and the twenty from mum. I'm absolutely screwed.

After getting offered incinerated bacon from Claude and kindly rejecting it, I got my stuff together and escaped out of Chris's house, the longer I'm here the deeper I'll be in shit.

Tom wanted to walk me home despite that being a bad idea as my family seemed to be on the warpath with me and I knew I was ready for a bollocking as soon as I get in. However, I didn't reject him and we were calmly walking hand in hand towards the house. However, it was quite awkward and none of us said a word for fifteen minutes.

As we make it onto my street, Tom finally speaks up. "Did we?"

I just nod.

"I don't remember it," Tom says before laughing to himself. "Shame."

I stop and glare at him.

Tom awkwardly clears his throat. "Sorry."

I continue to walk, my arms folded. Maybe it was a good thing neither of us remembered. Especially if he didn't. The reason I was so nervous about losing my virginity was because of my body confidence. Thankfully, he doesn't remember. But it might come back to him.

"Hey, Sel I didn't mean it like that it's just...it's meant to be a special moment and we don't even remember it." Tom stops me just before my house and I nod a little.

"Yeah, I know," I mumble looking down at the ground. "But it's not the end of the world. I guess."

"Anyway, we're at yours. I better go and face the wrath of my dad as well." Tom raises his eyebrows. "I'll see you on Monday. But message me, Okay? Let me know how you are."

I give him a smile and nod and he gives me a quick peck on the lips before walking off down the street. I shut my eyes for a moment and exhale sharply before opening my eyes again and making my way into the driveway. I stroll up to the front door and pull the handle down, pushing the door open. As I walk in I hear Kelly shouting from the top of the stairs.

"Mum! Dad! She's here!"

I narrow my eyes just as dad practically sprints out of the living room, followed by a relieved-looking mum. I watch as dad stops in the hall, his hands placed on his waist, and his face furious looking. They somehow found out that I wasn't at Amy's last night. It was the only explanation as to why dad and mum looked so relieved but angry at the same time to see me.

"Where the hell have you been?" Dad questions. "I've been going out of my mind with worry! We all have! We were that close to calling the police!"

"I was at Amy's for a sleepover I told you." I awkwardly laugh, not seeing what the problem was, even though I had a little feeling what the problem was.

"Is that why you've come back looking like you've just been to a party and you haven't taken your makeup off? Plus where's the 'sleepover' bag that you took over to 'Amy's' Hm?"

Oh fuck. That's when I knew then that I really blew my cover.

Kelly then scoffs. "She looks like a right slapper! To be honest she looks like she's been roughed up."

I give her a sarky glare.

"I rang Amy's mum last night and she told me you and Amy never had a sleepover. I texted you last night. Didn't you see it?"

Man, I don't even remember it.

However, I was in deep shit. Dad was getting more and more intimidating which made me all the more nervous because he was just so scary like this. Mum looked as equally as pissed but more disappointed and Kelly was just enjoying me getting roasted. Typical.

"Where were you, Selena?" Dad carries on glaring at me.

"We went to Chris's. Just a small gathering thing it's not a big deal." I say stupidly.

"NOT A BIG DEAL!" Dad suddenly bellows making me jump and at the corner of my eye, I see Kelly jump too. "LOOK AT THE STATE OF YOU! YOU ARE A DISGRACE! AN EMBARRASSMENT OF A DAUGHTER!"

Wow, dad.

Mum sighs. "Richard—"

"— I bet he was there wasn't he?" Dad starts making me look up at him. Instantly I knew he was on about Tom. 'He' has a name. But go off.

"Don't bring Tom into this, it's not his fault." I tell him sharply.

"Selena, give me your phone." Dad demands, holding his hand out and moving his fingers to indicate me to give him my phone.

I scoff. "Why?"

"GIVE ME IT!" He suddenly yells, making my eyes widen. Quickly, I take my phone out of my back pocket and hand it straight over to him.

"You are not getting this back till Monday and you're grounded for a month. Do I make myself clear?" He questions, shoving my phone in his pocket.

I just glare at him. "Whatever, Dad."

"Get up them stairs, I don't want to see you for the rest of the day! You disgust me!" He rants angrily.

I see mum giving him a shocked look. She obviously didn't agree with what he was saying to me.

"Richard!" She hisses. "Okay, she gets it!"

"SHE DOES NOT GET IT, ANJILI! SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN THE WRONG AND SHE NEEDS DISCIPLINED!" Dad yells.

At that point, I run up the stairs just as mum and dad break into a huge argument. As soon as I rush into my room I slam the door shut behind me and sniffle. My dad was honestly such a dick and at this point, I wouldn't care if mum kicked him out. It would do us all a favour.

•

That next Monday I felt really down, I had only just gotten my phone back after getting everything taken off me and I was still catching up with all the missed messages, most of them from Tom. Dad had tried getting more information out of me yesterday but there was no way I could tell him that I drank alcohol, got myself into a state and then the same night slept with Tom.

"Hey, Miss lockdown. Been tryna text you." A voice chuckles. I turn my head to see Amy stopping next to me, leaning against the lockers sideways like I was.

"Dad grounded me," I answer. "Gave me a tech detox against my will."

"Brutal, I just got a 'don't ever do that again without telling us first' and I spent the rest of the weekend at Chris's." Amy replies happily.

"Lucky, Tom's name gets mentioned once in my house and my dad's gone all Norman Bates." I sigh.

Amy gives me a confused look. "Who?"

"Psycho Guy." I tell her trying to jog her memory on track.

"Is that the one that got possessed and tried to kill his kids?" Amy asks, twiddling a strand of her blonde curls with her fingers.

"Amy, that was the Amityville Horror." I point out, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Ohhh, Wait! You mean the guy that stabbed the woman in the shower!" Amy finally realises.

I sarcastically clap. "Well done."

"Yeah, you got a point there. Let's just hope your dad isn't gonna be stabbing Tom in the shower anytime soon." Amy grits her teeth and turns to open her locker.

Amy's parents were the most chill people on the planet. I mean they were kinda strict when they had to be but they never had a problem with Chris, Amy was allowed over at Chris's whenever she wanted and not to mention her really cool dad.

"There's nothing wrong with Tom though." Amy continues taking a revision book out of her locker. "So what's his problem?"

"Dad's always been like this," I grumble. "He's the same with Kelly's boyfriends too."

"And you didn't tell him about the ins and outs of the weekend?" Amy raises her eyebrow at me.

I give her a cold look. "I'm not seeking a death wish, Ams."

Amy smirks. "Sooooo, I may have been drunk but I saw you and Tom and it was..." she whistles.

"Excuse me?" I narrow my eyes.

"You two were like romance on speed with the making out in front of everyone for like ten minutes and then you both disappeared," Amy explains. "It's not rocket science, is it? You two shagged."

"Sshhh!" I hiss, cautiously looking at the students walking past us.

Amy grins excitedly and starts squealing. "I'm so happy! You can finally join the club! We can have a new subject to talk about now — sex!"

I laugh nervously. "Oh, well that's great for you. But if/when my dad finds out, I'm afraid you may not have a best friend left to talk about the subject!"

Amy rolls her eyes. "So dramatic, Sel! Anyway, tell me the details."

"There's honestly not much to discuss as I was very drunk and hardly remember a single thing. All I remember is swearing, awkward hand placements and being in the dark." I explain. "Oh and excessive bleeding down south the day after."

Amy grits her teeth. "My first time wasn't like that. It didn't hurt as much as people made it out to be."

"Everyone's first time is different. Don't forget that." I smile at her and she links her arm through mine as we begin to walk down the corridors together.

"Did you use a condom?" Amy suddenly asks.

"No, I don't think so. But I'm on the pill and take it every day without fail so don't panic." I reassure.

Amy smiles. "Okay Good."

"Kinda weird. Expected to lose the big V at college or later. Not in my last year of high school."

"Hey, a lot of us lose our V cards while in school, nothing to be ashamed about. Plus you're seventeen you're legal for the dick." Amy laughs.

I elbow her and giggle. "Shut up!"

The bell suddenly rings and Amy groans. "Double maths. Care to join me in this upcoming reign of terror and torture we're about to endure?"

"Oh, Madame Amy, I will." I say in a posh accent and with that, we both giggle and make our way towards the maths classroom.

•

"So you're alive then." Tom smiles as me and him walk out of what was possibly the most boring two hours of my entire life.

"It was a close call, but yes, Tom. As you can see I'm alive."

"So you obviously didn't tell them about that whole night then." Tom says.

"You kidding? Dad will have me! What about you?" I challenge.

"Nope, just told them it was a sleepover at Chris's. Which is technically true. I'm guessing your dad took everything off you."

I look down at the floor. "Yeah. Dickhead."

"I know you'll probably be grounded but Thasmin Waits is gonna be holding one of her best parties yet on Friday, you up for it?"

I thought to myself. I'd been to one of Thasmin's parties before and I was grounded for months after because I came stumbling home at six in the morning, puking all over the street. So yes that was the first time I had gotten myself into a proper state. Friday just gone was my second messy night. But I'm young, screw it, I'm gonna do it.

"Let's do it." I nod.

"Yeah?" Tom grins. "Okay cool. She says to wear something comfortable on your feet because she's gonna be putting rave music on so a lot of dancing."

I give him a look. "There better be food though."

Tom laughs. "Yeah of course!"

"Okay good." I sigh with relief. "Can't wait to get wrecked and grounded for months again."

"Dad's fine with me going to a party as long as I don't come home at five in the morning, puking my guts out everywhere but that's what will probably happen anyway so same." Tom shrugs and I chuckle.

We stop in the corridors just as both of our phones ping. I give Tom a look as I hear other people's phones pinging as well. I look at my phone to see it was an airdropped photo and open it up. I hear students around me laughing and scoffing and as soon as the picture pops up on my phone my mouth drops open. I look around at everyone showing their peers who didn't get the airdrop and more laughter erupts around the corridor.

Clara's most private picture has just been sent around the entire school.