Aroused

Connor….

As we walk back to our cabin I felt all sorts of wrong…because I was feeling. Whatever he did in that room made me all hot and bothered. It reminded me of what the other girls at the orphanage always described to me when the white-coated visitors touched them.

Aroused…

I was aroused by a man I didn't know…what the actual fuck was wrong with me. I know all I wanted was a bit of spice and difference in my life but yet here I was…with a man…I didn't know who I'm pretty sure my body was craving.

Timothy or rather, Connor didn't say a word as well walked back. I remembered the hardness I had felt beneath me and then how quickly he had separated our bodies. His grip had been almost too tight, it had hurt but I didn't complain.

His eyes looked haunted and the look was suddenly gone.

"Let's go back," He had said, I had noticed that there was no deceiving smile on his face, he looked serious, almost afraid…did my body do that to him? I honestly couldn't tell.

He seemed like nothing happened after we had left the car like I was never on top of him and life he never showed me what was behind his perfect mask.

He didn't hold my hand as well walked back and I wondered why it bothered me so much. It had felt so natural that I thought that even though things became a bit weird between us he would still hold my hand…

What the fuck…

I was not a child, why would it bother me that my hand wasn't held by the person I was walking next to?

When we had reached our cabin, Tim…I mean Connor went straight Into d the shower.

Cold shower probably…

I read about that, that men used cold showers to calm their…arousals? Erections? At that moment I was just thinking about mine and also the fact that he had ignored me the whole fifteen minutes we had walked back. Be made it seem as if we were strangers. Just the same way wanted him to treat me just a few hours ago and yet now I was feeling all weird as he acted this way.

When he came out I was tempted to ask him what I did wrong but…it didn't seem like something I would do. After all, this was exactly what I wanted and he did say that after he showed me what he wanted to then things would be the way I wanted so why was I thinking too much about it?

Now that I think about it, I believed way too easily that he was the owner of the train I mean…anyone could lie about that…or maybe I was just finding reasons to get mad at him. When he came out of the shower I walked in almost immediately, I didn't want to have time to see his face…I might say shit I might regret.

As expected the shower was set to a cold temperature and I enjoyed it…I did. Calmed me, and my emotions and it brought me back to normal…back to being Caramel…the caramel that doesn't seventeen years at the orphanage being an experiment for scientists who wanted to build an army of sociopaths that they can control.

I am Caramel…the carrier of The Gift.

Not a young girl on a grain attracted to a man that she barely knew.

I felt his eyes on me when I walked out, I looked back at him, strong into his eyes…I wasn't one to escape a staring contest…if that was what he wanted.

He looked away, unable to keep contact. His brown eyes closed and his hand went to his head, massaging his forehead as he let out a deep sigh. He looked tired…pathetic.

I wanted to read a book, block out the noise in my head and the voice telling me to talk to him, to ask him what exactly happened in that room…I wanted to, I was tempted to but where I grew up, anything that temps you is wrong, if its right, you would do it immediately without feeling the need for it.

Dark Romance Poems.

The purple book seemed to be calling me. I wanted to bury my nose in it for houses and not raise my head for the rest of the day. I looked at Timothy…or Connor, his eyes were on the book in my hand not on me. His brows were furrowed and his usual smile was not on his face, whatever happened in that room seemed to have done a number on him because he looked so out of it, he couldn't even keep his mask on straight.

Amateur.

Weak.

Pathetic.

For some reason in my head, those words were directed at me and it made me feel…off.

'She chose to bleed for me,

She chose to kill for me,

She chose to create for me

She chose to die for me,

She chose to love me…

But that was her choice, not mine.

I chose to make her bleed,

I chose to make her kill,

I gave her the power to create,

I chose to kill her,

I never loved her but,

She will never know.'

Ok…that was, I'm not quite sure how to put it. I tried to figure out, the meaning…was that a poem or just a confession of murder.

I stole a glance…well it wasn't stolen because I realized his eyes has been on me for some time now.

"Which one did you read first?"

Oh…so he can speak again.

I stayed quiet and stared at him. It made me sweat and I wondered why…he didn't look like my silence bothered him though, he had that stupid smile on his face that pissed me off.

He coughs, it's fake though. I try to ignore his movements. He walks to my side and sits next to me like I invited him.

"Ah…." He looks at the brown page I was busy with and nods his head. "This is a good one, one of my favorites actually"

I watched his lips move as he spoke, he was smiling and there was only one thought in my head at the moment.

I didn't fucking ask you bitch!