7

TW : Thalassophobia

Several years ago when Ezra was 16 years old, when everything was still running smoothly. The rhythm and sounds that still lingered in his ears, would follow him to the end.

Beautiful melodies of violins as well as piano playing the rhythm of Chopin waltz op. 64 waved around the room, several couples dancing to each other, hugging, smiling and laughing, occasionally they kissed and when it happened Ezra closed his eyes and turned his back, walking away from the dance hall which was filled with people falling in love with each other.

Ezra, even though he had been on ships many times, he still couldn't get used to it.

Sometimes his head hurt from feeling the ship moving, so when he went out to get some fresh air, his dizziness still didn't go away.

The sea water swayed in small waves, a blue color that looked almost black because it was already at night. Ezra took a breath, the salty smell of the sea made him even more dizzy, he should have refused to go with his mother to this luxurious ship, luxury ship was still a ship anyway, you still could experience seasickness no matter how luxurious the ship was.

'Hey, young man.'

A middle-aged man wearing a fedora with a cigarette in his fingers, standing beside him, Ezra who was surprised by the present then tilted his head at the man. He nodded in response to the greeting. The middle-aged man looked very charismatic, the wrinkles on his forehead and the corners of his eyes indicated that he was already in his 40s, but even though he had wrinkles, the man's face still looked handsome.

The clothes he was wearing, though they looked like ordinary t-shirts, Ezra was willing to bet that the shirt must be very expensive or from famous brands— no doubt, his guess must be right because this ship was filled with rich people.

His mother was a chef assigned to cook here. Ezra was grateful of course, they always got invitations from wealthy families because of mother's cooking talent, which had earned a lot of praise from the professionals, sometimes his mother got invitations abroad and she always offered Ezra to go with her, this time it was no different. Her mother cooked for the passengers, and Ezra felt lucky to be able to eat his mother's cooking everyday for free.

'Why are you alone here? Where are your friends?' asked the middle-aged man, he flicked his cigarette, the ashes fell into the sea water.

Ezra was grateful that the sea breeze blew the smoke away, 'I don't have any friends here.'

'Oh really? Did you go with your parents?'

Whose son are you, hmm.' The man scanned Ezra up and down, as if trying to guess who Ezra's parents were, this man must know a lot of people here and trying to find out which of his friends looked like him. Ezra broke the silence.

'My mother works here.'

'Oh! No wonder, I've never seen you before, so I thought my friend had a secret child or something, haha.'

At the man who was laughing, Ezra also chuckled.

'So who is your mother?' he asked again, still curious.

'Chef Sabrina.'

Hearing Ezra's answer, the cigarette that the man was holding fell, never to be seen again, sinking into the sea.

'Ah! ah—I can see her face in yours, your mother is very beautiful so of course her son looks handsome too, wow.'

The man looked at Ezra in awe, as if he was very surprised that the two of them really looked alike, Ezra had often heard that, he looked more like his mother than his father.

Ezra's father, he was also on this ship, a member of a famous group of classical musicians. Although not mainstream in the media, his father was very popular among the wealthy so that he was always invited to important events, the violin melodies that were heard at this time were most likely being played by his father.

After that they talked about random topics, the middle-aged man took out his cigarette again, jokingly offered one to Ezra, Ezra nodded, but the man disapproved, knowing Ezra was still an underage.

Their conversation was normal, like most old people talk to young people. The old man also told Ezra about his job, it turned out that he was the owner of several resorts in popular tourist areas. Not so surprising, this small cruise ship was boarded by rich people who were spending their time off, it would be more difficult to find the faces of the insignificant people on this ship.

'Too bad I don't have a daughter, I wanted a daughter from the beginning, but both of my children are boys. If only there was one girl, I would totally introduce her to you.'

Ezra didn't know if the man was joking or serious, but it wasn't uncommon for rich families to show off their daughters, he had also been in this kind of conversation many times, so Ezra politely smiled again. The waves of the sea water, maybe if it was just his imagination, seemed to be rising, the pain in his head coming back again.

'Young man, you look pale.'

'Ah, sorry I got seasick.'

'Oh try using this, I came across this essential oil on a trip to China, they say it relieves nausea and headaches.'

The man gave him a small bottle shaped like perfume, Ezra accepted it happily, the smell of calming mints and herbs wafted on his nose.

'Thank you, sir.'

Closing his eyes for a while as he inhaled the aroma. Looking down at the swaying water made his seasickness worse.

'I think sleeping will make me feel better, I'll head back first.'

'Oh okay then, get well soon, young man!'

Ezra walked to another place to find a long beach bench, he lay down there massaging his temples.

Only the sound of the sea ripples filled the air.

Ezra closed his eyes, his body began to relax, his headache no longer made him wince in pain, focusing himself on the darkness in his eyes, his breathing began to become regular.

It would not be surprising if he fell asleep here but Ezra did not want to sleep yet, he just wanted to take a breath, and maybe after this he would go back to his room to sleep.

But moments later, an unexpected event—which no one could have predicted—happened as fast as lightning. The sound of an emergency alarm ringing in the air and loud screams echoed, reaching Ezra's ears.

His eyes were wide open, he felt the ship swaying roughly, his head felt dizzy, Ezra's breath quickened and his heart was pounding as if it was going to jump out.

He forced himself to run, holding onto the pole, seeing huge waves and a strong whirlwind heading towards their ship, at that sight his legs froze-- fear and disbelief mixed together making his brain instantly blank, he looked at his trembling hands gripping the guardrail.

Ezra quickly grabbed some of lifejackets from the emergency box, taking as much as he could in his hands, Ezra ran inside to see the room turned into a mess.

The ship tilted roughly, Ezra stumbled down and in a panic he kept trying to stand up, 'Mom and dad... ....' Ezra whispered to himself, but seconds later, he did not even know what was happening, the only thing he could hear was the loud sound of a crash.

His body was wet, Ezra was thrown somewhere, hugging several life jackets in his hand, when he began to open his eyes, all he saw was dark. Ezra quickly put on a life jacket, scanning his surroundings, a few fragments of ships float around him but he could not see where the other people were.

Alone. He was alone here, Ezra tried to take slow breaths to calm himself even though this was not the right time to stay calm, but he really needed not to panic. He tried to swim but it was impossible as he felt the legs weaken. Maybe he twisted his ankles trying to run earlier, he did not really remember what happened before, it was all dark— and he was floating alone in the middle of the sea.

Die in this place.

The thought intensified and Ezra found himself unable to move, his stamina was running out and he felt that if he did any more than this, he would pass out.

'... ... It's cold.'

The salty smell of the sea made his stomach turn, he stared intently at the several lifejackets in his hands, he looked at them as if what he was doing was stupid. He looked around again. Empty. Not a single human.

'You should have left this thing before you ended up like this, there might be someone else who will take it.'

'Ezra you really are useless'

'Move your feet, maybe you'll find people who need these goddamn lifejackets!'

'Move your feet!'

Ezra tried to move as hard as he could but every time he tried, his legs felt like they would snap. Little by little, sea water splashed into his mouth, at the salty taste on his tongue, Ezra winced.

Reality entered his mind, he was really alone. With no one around, he did not even know if the crew had sent out an emergency signal for help.

The adrenaline that was racing slowly faded causing Ezra to be more aware of the pain his body was suffering from, he winced while holding his right bicep which felt swollen and bruised, the wetness that he felt not only because of the water but of the blood pouring out endlessly from that part, his lips trembled.

Hugging himself, his eyes felt heavy, even if he did not drown to death, he would most likely die from hypothermia.

'Cold'

'... ... Is there anyone to help me.'

'No— Do I deserve to be helped?'

'Cold. My body feels cold.'

Alone. In this place. Only accompanied by the rippling sound of sea water, the salty smell, and the sound of his stammering breath.

Ezra had no clue how long he had been floating alone, he was conscious, yet he couldn't feel his own body as if it was becoming numb.

He stayed like this for a long time.

Only the eyes remained open, occasionally blinking like a doll.