(Observation Room)
Aizawa stares down at the paper in his hand with a twitching eyebrow. He looks up and stares at Nezu. He looks back down at the paper. Then back at Nezu. He sighs before deciding to bite the bullet and ask.
"Please tell me this is some kind of a joke. This kid is so obviously suspicious that it hurts."
He gets a chuckle in reply. "Now, now, Aizawa. One should not discount a potential student simply because their parents granted them a unique name. Why, their quirk would be well suited to heroics as well!"
Aizawa just deadpans at him. "You do remember that you made the entire school watch everything made by Monty Python after Mic played a strip of The Holy Grail during lunch back when we were attending?"
Nezu sips his tea. "Why, yes. I do remember that quite well."
There's silence as Aizawa tries to glare a hole in the rat's head. When that doesn't work he sighs. "I don't know what you're planning by letting this kid take the exam. Just remember that we're not only teachers, we're also heroes."
"Indeed," Nezu smirks with amusement in his voice. "That is exactly what I am counting on."
`~`
"Man that test was easy," I slouch down in my seat on the bus, resting my feet on the one in front of me. It's not like there's someone there to complain anyways.
"Unless you're a girl, put your feet down!"
I blink in surprise before getting up and peering over the seat. Apparently there is already someone sitting in front of me. A midget. A munchkin. A fruit. "A grape?" I question.
"I'm a person!" They screech at me, causing heads to turn towards us.
I roll my eyes. "No duh," I scoff. "I was talking about your hair. But with how you just randomly insisted that you're a person, now I'm wondering if you're just an illusion made by someone's quirk."
My eyes narrow in suspicion. "I mean, this is an exam for all of us going to high school. But you barely look like a primary schooler."
"I'm real damnit!" The grape stands on his seat and turns to shout into my face with a vein popping on his forehead, spittle flying. With a grimace of disgust I wipe it off.
"Nasty. Guess that does prove you're real though." I act as if a thought suddenly strikes me. "Oh! To make up for it, how about we introduce ourselves! You can call me Biggius Dickus, and I don't really want to become a hero. I'm just taking this test to have some fun and kill time."
He smirks at me for some reason. "Hah! That's so dumb! All of it! My name is way better, and so is my goal!" He takes a pose, hands on his hips and thrusting his chin out proudly. "I'm Minoru Mineta, and I'm going to be a hero who gets all the girls fawning over him! I'll have my pick of the chicks!"
I nod understandingly, taking out my phone and making a note on my to-do-list. I doubt I'll ever meet this kid again, so I probably won't get a chance for it to become useful. But hey, Himi and I will still have fun doing it!
"Cool, cool. Too bad for you that my girlfriend is one hundred percent better than any girl that would ever be interested in you. Oh, and my name?" I give him a wink before dropping back into my seat and crossing my arms behind my head. "Let's just say that names reflect the person."
I ignore his attempts to try and insult me, mainly calling me a liar and saying that he'll get way more (and better) girls than I have. Insulting me? I'm used to it, not a problem. Insulting Himi? What I marked down was more of a 'if it pops up' thing before, but now I'm absolutely going to do it. And take pictures.
Either way, if he doesn't shut his mouth soon I'm going to punt his little purple butt straight out the window. Luckily (for him) the bus arrives at our destination quickly and everyone starts to depart. Except that the midget is still in his seat, leaning his head into the walkway and staring at the girls' behinds.
So I decide to ignore him, it's not like I'm a hero or something, and leave. It feels like my knee hits something though. Hard. But I don't see anything so I keep walking. I also don't hear the muffled thump of something small hitting the floor. I step off the bus with a nice stretch in the sun, some of the girls who got off before me shooting me grateful looks and smiles for some reason.
Who knows what that's about.
I guess I can get a quickie in during the exam if any of them ask and Himi responds to the text I just sent her. It'll tank their chances of passing if they can't walk though. But it wouldn't be my problem!
Anyways, it looks like that fun girl is here, oh, and having a mini panic attack! I'm good at those! Maybe I'm also good at getting through them? That's up for debate, but before I can make my way over to her in order to find the answer to that question I feel a hand clamp down on my shoulder. Turning, I see that same blue haired glasses guy from the auditorium. I smile at him as he frowns at me with a harsh glare in his eyes.
"That girl looks like she's trying to focus on the exam. Are you planning to go over there and distract her, ruining her chances to pass?"
The smile doesn't leave my face. "Wanna help me find the perfect volume?" A look of confusion crosses his face. Seems like he forgot about what I said before. That's ok, as long as he's standing here he can still help.
I pull my leg back, then swing it forward with a decent amount of force. I'm not killing anyone during the exam, and that's probably what would have happened if I kicked him as hard as I could. I think I feel something pop but it could just be my imagination. Doesn't really matter though as he gives a high pitched scream and crumbles to his knees, clutching his crotch.
I lean over to look down at him, still with a smile on my face. "So. That's how loud I should be! But isn't that even louder than I was though? Maybe we should retest it…"
But before I can act like I'm going to do it again, Present Mic's loud voice echoes over us, along with the doors grinding open. "GO, GO, GO!! THERE ARE NO COUNTDOWNS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's a moment of silence before there's a mad dash through the doors. I give the downed guy a considering look before turning away and jogging through the doors and into a fake city. Well, fake in that nobody lives here. Other than the teens and robots rampaging around it looks just like a regular city.
As I look for some non-destroyed robots away from the entrance gate, Present Mic's voice rings out again. "And this is just a reminder, not aimed at anyone in particular, just in general, but attacking the other participants is NOT ALLOWED!!! And will result in an automatic FAIL!"
"Wow, someone attacked one of the other applicants? Aren't they all applying for the hero course? What kind of backwards thinking idiot- no, it was probably Kachan. Nevermind."
Chuckling at the thought of Kachan failing the test because of his short temper -even if I know he's not stupid enough to ignore the clearly stated warning- I finally come across my first active robot. A two-pointer! Kind of looks like it was broadly modeled after a scorpion.
"But how does it attack?" I wonder out loud as it stomps towards me. "From what I saw of the wrecks I passed; the one-pointers have guns with rubber bullets and the three-pointers have weak missiles. But there's nothing obvious on- whoa!" I jump back as the robot's tail points at me and extends, piercing deeply into the ground where I was just standing. I stare at it with my mouth open as the tail retracts back to the bot, the protective plates once again becoming interlocked.
…The one pointers do shoot rubber bullets, right?
Either way, "You picked a fight with the wrong guy!" I shout as I charge forward, my knife sliding into my hand as I flick my wrist. Its tail extends again, though this time it's aimed higher. Probably to account for the possibility of me jumping back to avoid it. Too bad the extra height means that I can just duck under it.
As it passes overhead I swing my knife in an arc, watching as it slides into the gap between the armor and cleanly cuts through the internal components. As half its tail falls to the ground behind me, I can't help but wonder how shoddily these things are made if such a weak attack could completely sever it.
`~`
"Did he just cut through the tail?" Midnight looks around the room to make sure she's not seeing things, but her colleagues' nods assure her that her eyes are working.
"But… isn't there an iron core for the tails?" Vlad King asks to clarify, since he isn't too familiar with how the robots function.
"It's more complicated than that," Power Loader scoffs, only to reluctantly concede. "But the core is as strong as iron. So he shouldn't have been able to just cut through it."
"How interesting," Nezu says while sipping his tea.
`~`
With its tail damaged the robot charges at me, trying to trample me. So I leap, grabbing onto its long neck and swinging myself on top of its head and bury my knife into the red orb that makes up its eye. There's a moment where it freezes, then it falls to the floor in a cacophony of metal.
"That was easier than I thought it would be." I shrug it off the same way I jump off of the robot. "Welp. Let's go look for a good opportunity!"
`~`
After some time killing/destroying robots and seeing the interesting quirks of the applicants, I still haven't found a good opportunity! Seriously, how am I supposed to make an impact but still get away if all the robots go down to a knife in the eye? I've gotten, like, twenty points, and I'm not even trying to find them!
I'm pulled out of my mental rant by the ground shaking and the sound of buildings toppling. I look over in that direction and see an absolutely massive robot. That must be the zero pointer! I've killed each of the others already!
With everyone rushing to get away from it, it makes it a bit of a hassle to rush closer. But it gets people to start paying attention to me. That's at least part of what I wanted to do getting done.
As I get closer my eyes fall on some fallen rubble. Or more accurately under it, on Uraraka, who seems to be trapped. Obviously I rush over, taking in her shocked face.
And then I lightly chop her head.
With the side of my hand I mean. Not the knife in my other one.
"Did you forget about your quirk? Just touch it!" I shout at her.
"I am!" She shouts back, pain in her voice, and proceeds to do just that and pushing the floating rubble away from her. Huh. Guess the rubble just barely fell on her as I was approaching.
But then she makes a choking noise and holds a hand to her mouth. I'm intimately familiar with the signs of holding yourself back from vomiting -though mine was usually pain induced- so I know that she's right on the verge of spewing chunks. Consequences of overusing her quirk? Hmm. Judging by how her ankle is twisted around she won't be walking anytime soon.
I look at her. I look at the zero pointer. I look back. I nod. "Hey, Uraraka."
She must be able to hear the seriousness in my voice because she forces herself to swallow down the rising bile and look at me. "In case something happens, I have a message I want you to give to someone. If you see them at UA."
"Wh-what are you talking a-about?" She stumbles a bit on her words, swallowing again as her lunch tries to take advantage and resurface. I ignore her question. I give her the message. I ignore her open mouthed stare and walk past her, towards the zero pointer. She calls out to me, the sound of retching quickly following, proving that it was a mistake on her part.
I look up at the zero pointer and smile. "Well then. This seems like it will be suitably dramatic and eye-catching." I chuckle. "Let's see how UA handles the backlash from the death of one of their applicants."
I blink and tilt my head thoughtfully. "Huh. I guess they were right." I charge forward with a wide smile splitting my face in half, blood dripping from the corners where the skin is being forced to stretch past its breaking point.
"I will die in the exam."
`~`
I wake up in darkness, faint light poking through what looks like a large hole. I dust myself off, noting how all my clothes have been burned to ash. Guess that's to be expected when you cause a giant robot to explode while being inside it.
Once I'm outside I see that I'm in a forest, the zero pointer's head having been launched far away from the city from the force of explosions wracking its body. At least I think I'm far away from the city. If I wasn't, I'm sure that some hero would have come to investigate the giant robot head. Or at least the cops.
I look around, nodding to myself.
"Yep. I have no idea which direction the city's in."
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WHAT WAS THE MESSAGE!? Find out on the first day of UA!
And yes, I do believe canon Midoriya seeing her 'stuck' had barely just happened. How else would she have gotten out in time to slap some float into him?