First Time

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I can't help but look at Himiko with some doubt in my eyes, to which she rolls her own.

"Obviously it's a good idea. How else are we supposed to get money?"

"But… it will be my first time. I don't think I'm ready!"

Huffing at my resistance, she grabs my hand and pulls me deeper into the alley. "You'll do fine. Just make sure you stay relaxed and follow what your body wants to do. It will know how to react. Mine did the first time!"

I squirm as we round a corner and a person comes into view. The man is leaning with his shoulder against the wall while he scrolls through his phone. He doesn't look bad, especially for being in some random alley. In fact, his clothes practically scream that he's well off. Or at least that he's doing well for himself.

Honestly the only thing detracting from his appearance is his quirk, which has replaced his mouth with what looks like a speaker. Normally I'd be jotting down notes and questions about his quirk: such as how he eats, if he still has a tongue, what exactly it might be, etc.

But right now I'm far too nervous thinking about what Himiko wants me to do. Luckily the man hasn't seen us yet, so I can try to gather up my courage. 'It will be ok. Himiko said that she's done stuff like this plenty of times! I mean, I don't encourage it, but I'm not going to try and force her to change. That would defeat the whole point of me coming along with her. I'm the one who wants to change! To live my life with no regrets!'

'I mean… it's not like I mind doing this. Which is weird because I feel like I should. I really do need to figure out everything that my quirk has done to me since I first activated it. In fact, I should do it now! Yeah, this can wait until ano-'

I'm knocked out of my thoughts by Himiko bonking me on the head with the handle of one of her knives. I asked her once how many knives she carries with her, and boy was that a mistake.

She spent a good twenty minutes lecturing me about how I can't go questioning girls about their secrets, then proceeded to pull a dozen knives from out of various spots inside her shirt. She said that was all she was willing to show me, but that she had another fifteen scattered around the rest of her body. She said that I'd have to find the rest myself, and that she'd give me a prize if I managed to discover where they were all hidden.

But given the lack of her needing to use knives since we left the Yagi house, I haven't had much of a chance. The food, when paired with my blood, has ensured that we haven't needed to go out just for our basic necessities. But that doesn't mean that I've just been lazing about!

But judging by her pout, now isn't the time to reminisce. Sighing, I look at the man again, noting that he's started sending the two of us covert glances. I mean, not really covert, given that I noticed them, but he's trying at least! Luckily I'm standing in front of Himiko so he doesn't see that she's holding a knife. That would probably send him running.

Seeing that I'm still trying to put things off, Himiko huffs at me. "If you aren't going to do it then I am! Even if you are a good cook, a girl still wants to go out and have some fun!"

As she puts a hand on my arm to push me aside I sigh. Putting a hand on her chest to stop her, I nod. "It's ok. I'll do it. My nerves are just getting the better of me. But if I want to live freely, I need to make sure that nothing holds me back. Not even this."

I take a deep breath, and confirm what I need to do as she gets a wide grin on her face. "So I just stab 'em?"

"Yeah~!"

I nod. "Ok. I can do this. I. Can. Do this." Accepting the knife from her, I slide it into my sleeve and tense my wrist so it doesn't slide down. It's not really tenable long-term, but it's not supposed to be. There are straps you can wear to hold them where flexing your wrist will cause them to fall down, but Himiko doesn't have any in my size. Though she did say that we'll get me some after this to celebrate my first kill.

I walk towards the man with my head down and shoulders slumped, playing as the nervous kid worried about drawing attention to himself. It's not like I don't have a decade's worth of experience with it.

I hear some shuffling ahead of me and assume the guy has stopped leaning on the wall, but looking up would betray my act. It would be a small thing that doesn't fit with the rest, but it would be enough to give someone the feeling that there's something off about me. So instead, hearing him move, I hunch down farther, trying to make myself as small as possible.

When he puts a hand on my shoulder I jump and look at him with panicked eyes. There's a smirk in his eyes as he looks down at me. "What's a kid like you doing in a place like this?" His voice is a bit odd, sounding kind of synthesized and the pitch rising and falling randomly.

I stammer out an automatic reply, playing up the 'scared kid' act while contemplating on where the best place to stab him would be. 'The throat will prevent him from screaming and calling for help, though his quirk might negate that depending on how it affected his vocal cords. Trying for entry through the ear would give him time to react, and there's no guarantee that I'd get it through the hole and reach his brain on the first try.'

'Maybe I should stab him in the leg so he can't run away? We are fairly deep into the back alleys. Even if he does scream, what are the chances that someone will be brave enough - or care enough - to investigate? And not many heroes are willing to do their work where the media doesn't have a presence. Well, other than the good, underground heroes, like Eraserhead. Man, I hope that I can get his autograph one day! Wait, focus!'

While I've been thinking, the man has continued talking and trailed his hand down from my shoulder to my left arm. Honestly, I've been acting on auto-pilot so I have no idea what he's been saying. But it doesn't really matter since I'm going to kill him.

Finalizing my thoughts, I immediately act. I relax my wrist, letting the blade drop and grabbing the handle. Or, well. I tried to grab the handle. Despite my time practicing with it, I still mess up the timing sometimes. I guess now is one of those times.

The clanging it makes as it falls to the ground is deafening in the sudden silence as we both stare at it. Neither of us react for a few moments, both frozen at the unexpected development. Him more than me, which is why I'm the first to act.

Crouching down, I scoop up the knife and clasp it between both hands. The man tenses and takes a step back in shock, but despite his feeble stumble, it doesn't help him against my next move.

Still clasping the blade, I… bow. "I'm so sorry for this! These alleys are dangerous, so my friend insisted that I carry something to protect myself. But I don't really have any experience with weapons, so I guess I didn't secure it well enough. I'm so sorry! I hope I didn't scare you."

The man simply stares at me for a minute, probably trying to gauge the truthfulness of my words. But seeing my earnest expression, he relaxes and waves his hand though his eyes narrow. "No, it's fine. And your friend is right, it is dangerous around here. Which begs the question; why are you wandering around here?"

I fidget nervously, not even needing to act. This is not going as well as I thought it would. But it's also not going as bad as I expected, so I'll count it as a win! "W-well, you see…" I mumble out a reply.

Frowning, he gestures for me to speak up. I repeat myself a bit louder, but still not loud enough for him to hear. Sighing, he lets his guard down and leans in. And I take the opportunity to strike.

I reverse the grip my hands have on the knife and quickly bring it up before he can pull away, driving it through his lower jaw. I can hear him take a deep breath through his nose and I scowl at having missed his throat.

Pushing me back and forcing the knife out, he stumbles back and I step forward, switching to holding the knife one-handed. I use my free hand to grab his shoulder as I thrust the knife into his chest. Instead of going in though, it just digs a shallow cut as it glances off of one of his rib bones.

"Why is this so hard!?" I shove him backwards and he falls on his butt, staring at me with panic as his mouth fills with blood and his shirt gets soaked. He tries to scramble backwards as he holds a hand to the cut but I climb on top of him, preventing him from getting away.

He tries to speak, but the only thing that comes out of his speaker is a spray of blood. Clenching the knife in both hands once again, I raise it above my head and bring it down on his chest with my body weight behind it.

Luckily he's too panicked to try and hold me back since my body weight isn't really all that much. But it is enough for it to finally dig deep into his chest. I pull it out and thrust down again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

It's not until I'm enveloped in a warm hug that I come out of my daze. Looking down, I see that the man's chest is a bloodied mess. Blood is splattered all around him, and I become aware of just how much of it has gotten on me. It makes me glad that I left my jacket back at our hideout.

I stumble to my feet with Himiko's help and take a few steps back, taking in the entire sight of what I've done. Blood drips from his speaker mouth, and his eyes are filled with the terror he felt at realizing that he was about to die.

While I'm looking down at him, I feel her lean her chin against my shoulder as she stands on her toes to whisper into my ear. "So, Cinnamon Roll. How does it feel to take someone's life? To splatter their blood around them as they struggled against you. To know that, despite being younger, smaller, beat down your whole life: that in the end you proved your strength superior to them?"

She spins around so that she's in front of me, her eyes gleaming at the sight of me covered in blood. Leaning up, she trails her tongue along my cheek to get a taste of the blood. "Hmm. Kind of sour, with a hint of bitterness."

I can't help the chuckle that escapes me. Looking away from my first kill, I stare into her eyes, and she giggles at what she sees in mine. My grin stretches across my face as I touch my forehead against hers.

"It feels amazing."