Bakugou Sucks

(3rd Bakugou)

The spiky blonde haired hero student rushes through the hallways of the fake hotel the exercise is taking place in, a snarl on his face as he blows open every door he passes. He barely pauses after each explosion to listen for a scream of fear or pain before moving on, ignoring his annoying red haired classmate's calls for him to slow down and be careful. They just make him even more angry at the one Bakugou has nicknamed 'Shitty Hair'.

Fucking bastard keeps getting in the way of me killing that worthless piece of shit Deku! Dumbass heroes think the shitstain has what it takes to be a villain, so it won't even matter that I don't have my license yet! In his mind, if he kills 'Midosagi' -at least according to 'official' channels- then he should be given his license right the fuck away! In his mind it's an easy way to catapult the start of his rise to being the number one hero.

Not to mention that it would just add to the badassery of his origin story. 

"After graduating from Aldera Middle School, Bakugou Katsuki's rise to the top of the hero charts began at UA high school! After facing numerous tribulations, he confronted a supposed villain who had infiltrated the school. After defeating them, it was realized that the boy could never have managed to achieve the feats he'd been accused of, due to his quirkless nature. For helping society, and the heroes themselves, come to this realization he was immediately granted his hero license. He only accomplished even more impressive feats from there!"

He can hear it now, everyone singing his praises for revealing how utterly beneath him that quirkless loser is. All he has to do is FIND THE DAMN NERD WHEREVER HIS FUCKING HIDING PLACE IS!

But then he hears the bastard scream, and he lets loose a savage grin. "Fucking found you, Deku." He uses explosions from his palms to speed himself up, excited to put the farce of him somehow being a villain to an end.

"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD DEKU! YOU HEAR ME!?"

Finally, he reaches a cracked open door, and behind it he can hear a sound he's more than familiar with.

"K-k-kachan, p-p-p-please! D-d-don-don't hurt m-me-me!"

The arrogant nerd's annoying fucking mumbling. Does it matter to the hero aspirant that he's begging for mercy before he's even entered the room? Not at all. Does it matter that the point of the exercise is to 'save the hostage'? Not at all.

All that matters in Bakugou's mind, is putting Deku in his place.

He uses an explosion to blow the door open without a second thought, following behind it immediately and locking sights on the quivering green haired boy to the detriment of his awareness regarding his surroundings. He sees nothing else in the room. Not his unconscious classmate tossed in the corner. Not the balls scattered around the room, including the ones keeping his future victim trapped against the wall.

And not the door that swings into his face with even more force than he used to open it.

`~`

(Izuku)

I throw my head back and cackle when Kachan crumples to the floor, almost instantly knocked unconscious after getting slammed in the face by the door and cracking his head against the frame. It only gets louder when the door has enough force to make a second round and hits his foot with less force, but still enough that he'll feel it when he wakes up. Especially since it hit his toes!

"Heroing one-o-one dumbass! Don't walk into an obvious trap!"

I let my cackling die down into regular laughter, and then into chuckles as I look around the room with a smile on my face. It was definitely not easy to set up so quickly with the grape being unconscious, but I have to say, the immediate payoff was certainly worth it!

The grape's quirk is scattered all around the room, making sure that anything movable is stuck in place and ensuring that anyone trying to enter the room needs to essentially hopscotch to get to me, the 'hostage'. Then they'll have to figure out a way to get me unstuck from the wall since the balls are stuck to my skin. Of course, if they don't care about injuring me, then just letting me lose some skin is an option.

I'll make sure to scream bloody murder the whole time if they go that route though. Punishment for not thinking of just breaking the wall around the balls instead!

And so I wait for another of the hero team to investigate the sudden silence and stumble on the scene. I mean, they'd have to be a pretty bad hero student to not even bother checking on their teammate. Then again, it is Kachan, so I can understand not wanting to get anywhere close to him.

I let my mind go blank while staring up at the ceiling, mentally checking out until someone gets here. Nothing else to do until then. Although I might be able to kick my shoe off and kick it at the unconscious pomeranian. But then he might wake up, and I enjoy the silence…

Before I can come to a decision on whether or not I should do it, I hear someone shout from outside the room. "Bakubro! Are you ok!?"

Welp, time to get into character.

"H-hello? Is someone there? Please b-be careful. The villain set a trap!"

There's silence for a moment before the door gets slowly pushed open. The boy who shares his name with a city pokes his head in and looks around, his eyes widening at seeing all the balls scattered around the room. "What the heck?"

I hold back an eye roll as I stretch my neck and kick my legs, managing to draw the hero's attention. "B-be careful coming in, the villain booby trapped the door. Your partner rushed in before I could warn them and got knocked unconscious."

The shirtless boy visibly swallows before he crouches and drags Kachan out of the room. I can hear him moving him outside the room, but can't see what he's doing to him. Waking him up or making him comfortable? Nobody will be happy if he wakes the loudmouth up, so hopefully he's just setting him against a wall or something.

It only takes a few more moments before he comes back, carefully stepping over the half-circle of balls surrounding the door just far enough away that it won't hit any of them when it opens. He looks behind the door and sees the entire thing covered in purple balls, along with the wall behind it. The door stop that would typically prevent the door from going that far has been removed, and since the balls bounce off of each other, if you aren't careful opening the door it would bounce back even harder and hit you.

As demonstrated by a certain kamikaze mutt.

"Damn, that's actually pretty smart!"

I shrug. "I guess, but the villain was clumsy and tripped onto his balls. He bounced around for a bit before finally hitting his head and knocking himself out. It doesn't matter how smart the trap is if the one who set it falls in too." I give him a shaky smile. "I-I'm just glad that someone is here to rescue me! I have no idea what the villains would have done if you didn't show up!"

"Uh, yeah!" He seems unsure of what to say for a moment before giving me a sharp-toothed smile and slamming his fist into his hand. "Yeah, I'm here to save you! Don't worry, I'll get you out of here no problem!"

He takes a confident step forward-

And slips, his foot sliding forward as he lets out a loud cry of surprise.

I deadpan as his other leg buckles and he goes down on one knee, one leg almost fully extended and stuck to one of the balls scattered on the floor. We just stare at each other in an awkward silence for a moment.

"…"

"...What did you even slip on?" I certainly didn't have enough time to make sure someone would fall onto the balls. As far as I know, the rest of the floor should be perfectly fine!

"Uh…I think the rug?" He looks sheepish as he awkwardly gets to his foot, hopping forward so he can start trying to get his stuck foot free.

"...At least you didn't do the splits?"

He barks out a laugh as he uses his hands to tug on his leg, not making any progress in removing the ball. Not that it would end well if he did get himself free like that. Hasn't he ever seen, like, any cartoon or anime where a character's gotten one leg stuck? Even if he does manage to get free, he'd either get stuck on a ball behind him, or fall backwards and get completely stuck with no hope of getting out without outside assistance.

At least that would be the case if a short frog girl hadn't just jumped on his back. "Timber." She says in a monotone voice while Kirishima lets out a yelp as he pitches forward. He windmills his arms in an effort to keep his balance, but my fellow green hair uses him as a springboard to do a back flip up onto the ceiling where she manages to stick both the landing and herself.

Kirishima, meanwhile, face plants with his body stretched across a number of balls, rendering him well and truly stuck. He lets out a groan of disappointment. "Ugh, sneak attacks aren't manly at all."

"I'm a girl, so I'm fine with that." She says before looking over at me. She tilts her head with her tongue sticking out. "How'd all this happen?"

I shrug, bending at the waist to flip myself backwards and kick my feet through the wall next to both my hands.I give a strong heave, tearing free the plaster my hands and the balls are stuck to. "Kachan was an idiot -like usual- and Kirishima tripped. Then you got an eight out of ten for gymnastics when you finished him off."

Her head tilts the other way. "Only an eight, kero? Why not a ten?"

"The back flip was pulled off nicely, but any decent hero can do a flip. Now, if you had done a twist or a twirl, that would have been a solid ten." I nod. "That takes practice and shows dedication."

"Understandable." She nods before pointing at the rancid grape in the corner. "And while that's good to know, kero, I was talking about how you got stuck and why Mineta's unconscious."

"Oh, that?" I wave my mildly more dangerous hand dismissively. "He was disrespecting women-kind, so I punted him into a wall. But since I didn't want to ruin the exercise I used his body to trap the room so the hero team wouldn't be able to just walk out with me."

"Thank you for the consideration, kero." She puts a finger on her chin as she looks at me. "You know, you're oddly considerate for a villain."

I snort, crossing my arms. "Villainy is a business with a healthy dash of 'personal' and trauma. I consider my time here outside of business hours since I'm not allowed to kill anyone."

She just hums noncommittally before looking down at Kirishima, and I follow suit. "That's… manly?" He says with a bit of doubt and a constipated thinking face, and I snort before looking back at her.

"So, is the round over or what?"

She doesn't say anything, her head tilting in the way they do when they're listening to something. Why wasn't I given an ear piece or something?

Less than a minute later she focuses back on me. "Cementoss-sensei says to gather back outside the building for an after action report. My team won."

I pump my fist and give a little hop. "Whoo! Go team villains!"

"You're a hostage, kero." She deadpans at me. I laugh while dancing around the balls on the floor.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't support villainy even as a 'civilian'. Just look at Gentle Criminal, he has a pretty dedicated fan base even though his tech people are in a constant fight with the HPSC's over keeping his videos up."

She just shrugs in reply before crawling across the ceiling to make her own exit. On the floor, Kirishima blinks. "Uh, how am I going to get out of this?"

I shrug and use him as a board, walking across his back to reach the door. "How am I supposed to know? The grape is in your class, so you should know best how to get out of it."