Interview with THE DIRECTOR

I – Interviewer

D – The Director

(Begin Interview):

I: How are you doing, Director?

D: I am fine.

I: You are the thirteenth Director in charge of the United Allies Industries Limited Corporation; how has the job as humanity's last leader been for you?

D: Thrilling.

I: How goes business? Have you anything to report to the public?

D: Business is working as per usual; we have no complaints. The public will know the details of our costs and profits after the shareholder's meeting is held in August.

I: We heard through rumours that the R&D Sector is relocating factories, is this true?

D: False.

I: Ah- But-

D: The R&D Sector's factory remains in the same location as it always has for the past hundred-and-fifty years. Nothing will change. Any future relocations will be communicated to the public with immediate effect.

I: I-I see… The rumours are false, Director.

D: In perpetuum.

I: (Cough) Ahem, so…May we speak about The War?

D: Enlighten me.

I: How is it going? Are we winning?

D: Such imbecility in your phrasing; 'Winning?', 'Losing?'. These simple terms cannot accurately define the horrors we are engaged in. We are currently in a war that will determine the fate of us Humans and our planet.

I: My apologies, Director.

D: However, the public must not fret. The Company and Board ensures you all that we will resolve this conflict before the turn of the new decade.

I: How goes the morale of the Security Sector? Are they in high spirits?

D: Of course. They anxiously await to return home to see their families, after they complete serving their mandatory ten-year service.

I: May we enquire as to the total number of casualties suffered so far? The last figure we heard was-

D: Three-hundred and fifty million casualties in total over the course of one-hundred and seventy years.

I: Th-That's not a big increase from the last time we interviewed you. Are you saying only ten-thousand casualties have been suffered over the course of a year?

D: Yes. We estimate that the Terrans have accrued over a million casualties this year alone.

I: That is amazing! We are sure to destroy the Terrans soon!

D: We must. Those creatures threatened us, we must extinguish them.

I: Thank you for your time, Director.

D: Of course.

(End of interview).