Darkfire32
Lv12
2021-05-15 BeigetretenGlobal
-d
Schreiben
110.3h
des Lesens
138
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5Augenblicke
5
Darkfire324mthKommentiert"harass" not 'harassment ' because after [to] we use the' verb' not ' noun'.
Dieses Buch wurde gelöscht.- Darkfire325mthKommentiert
"left" not 'life'
Johan, no, Caleb walked to the wooden door on his life side. Then he put his hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. Here it is. He was about to meet his family. 'I hope I'm not some detested kid or something.' - Darkfire325mthKommentiert
I don't think "handsome" is the best word to describe a car
"Mr. Roa, that is your car." Trisha pointed at a handsome white car with black highlights. It looked extremely good compared to the common cars on the road. - Darkfire325mthKommentiertDieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
- Darkfire3210mthVerschickt
This is my creation , so of course I an not gonna give my self a bad review. I know I'm lacking in some areas but I will get better. All in all , if you kept reading until chapter three you will notice the improvement. Here is my review to myself : -The world building is good. -The story is excellent. -The writing style need improvements. -Spelling mistakes close to none, you may find some here and there. [img=update]