Chapter 73

He looked surprised and then laughed long and hard, setting me back down. "Only you could make me laugh while being highly aroused and highly disappointed. And it is a disappointment I fully expected and was prepared for. Time will heal things between you three. And I would not come between that. I would not harm my brother in that way. EVER. I love him too much."

"Well Thor, if it makes you feel any better, I'm in need of a cold shower." I giggled.

He cocked his head. "Hmmm, actually I believe it does. Now I am going to borrow your shower. I brought several changes of clothes so that I do not have to bring them with me every night."

With a wink he disappeared into my bathroom. I smiled and turned out all the lights and lit a candle by the bed. I was afraid of the dark unless Thor was with me. I wandered to the window and looked down. They were there as I had expected, faces turned upward towards my window. For the first time my heart didn't hurt to see them. I pressed my hand to the window and looked at them.

I saw smiles at my first gesture towards them since I woke up and the fact it was a positive one lit them up like Christmas trees. I gave a small smile and walked away from the window, trailing my hand slowly from the glass. Yes, I was definitely on my way to being able to see them again without bleeding inside.

Thor came out of the shower drying his hair with a towel. I stared. He had forgotten his shirt in the case and had come out wearing only sweats. Damn that man had some chiseled muscles. And abs that I just wanted to lick. I felt muscles clench that I hadn't used in a while. I knew the part of me that wanted this was the part that believed that they didn't want me anymore. Not really. That they didn't really love me and here was someone offering me love. But the rest of me resisted until I heard if from their mouths for me to leave. That they were done with me. 

I did worry some about how this would all play out. What if they still wanted me? It was the first time I had let myself think about it. I walked back to the window, seeing them still there. What if they still loved me? How would this affect them, Loki especially. I thought his name for the first time since I woke up. I hope it didn't strain his relationship with his brother. And if it was something I needed to tell them, if they still loved and wanted me, then I would give them every detail. What Thor said and how he was honest but always behaved like a gentleman. How I kissed him, giving him the gift for opening me back up to the possibility of love and life. 

I knew knowing the part where I was interested would hurt them if it came to that point. But I will also show how I thought I was unloved and unwanted. I just wanted to be loved and honestly Thor was not a bad looking man. And even more honestly, they had woken up the sensual creature inside me that craves sex and I had not had any in almost nine months.

I stood looking down, thinking. I was more than on my way to seeing them again. I needed closure on all this to see how my life would move on. Would I be back with them or would I be set adrift to find another love. I sighed and turned towards Thor. I smiled and gave him a wink as he put his shirt on. 

"After all that, are you sure you want to stay with me and spend the night Thor? I know what torture it can be to want something, to have it right there, and not have it. Because I can't have sex with you. Not until I get closure and know where things stand."

"Yes. I enjoy just holding you, Ari. And I will be here for you in any way I can. Even if it is just as a pillow you snuggle with." He grinned at me.

I laughed and grabbed my pj's. "Ok then. Well, make yourself comfy. I'm going to take my cold shower now." With a wink I walked into the bathroom, hearing his laughter. I turned the water on warm but not hot. I couldn't do hot showers yet as my skin was still a little sensitive. Bruce said that would get better with time. It was hard to really relax muscles when the water was only warm. I turned my face to the water and thought. I wasn't lying when I said I was aroused and right now the only one that could take care of that was me. I double checked my walls. Thick as ever. As a precaution I added another layer. I didn't want this leaking through to them. I would never do that to them, be it wanted or unwanted.

Slowly I cupped my breasts and rolled my nipples between my fingers. I gasped as desire shot straight to my pussy, making me soaking wet. I pinched and pulled and felt myself get close just from that. I had really been too long without sex. I wanted to see if I could fully come from just playing with my nipples. I leaned my head back and felt the water running over my breasts. I continued to pull and twist and pinch my nipples, making it harder and harder with the sensations sending shocks through my body. I gave a really hard twist and came. I covered my mouth so that Thor wouldn't hear me. I was still turned on and I needed more. I reached down and slid my fingers inside me. I was so wet it dripped into my hand. I shoved my fingers in deep over and over, building my next orgasm. I started moving them faster and faster. My orgasm ripped through me, and I bit down on my hand to keep from crying out. I still needed more so I started to rub and circle my clit. I rubbed faster as my pleasure built again. My hips were bucking against my hand, and I was making noises behind my hand as I rubbed my clit. I was so close. I flicked my clit and came hard. I screamed behind my hand, lucky that my hand and the noise of the shower covered it. I slid to the floor as my legs wouldn't hold me.

That part of me that wanted Thor wanted to call him in here and have him watch as I pleasured myself. Which only made me hotter and wetter than ever. I closed my eyes, and in my mind I didn't see Thor, but Loki and Bucky, their eyes hungry for me. I checked my shields, and they were still tight. I could indulge in this fantasy, and no one would know. I hadn't needed like this is so long. I closed my eyes and ran my hands over my body. I could feel the water running over me, feel it as it rushed between my legs over my now sensitized clit. I stifled a moan. God, I was so turned on that just the running water would make me come. And just as I thought it, it happened. I bucked as it ripped through me. I was desperate for more and plunged my fingers inside myself and rubbed my clit with my other hand. I worked both hands fast, giving myself orgasm after orgasm. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as they made my body shudder and buck. I pinched my clit and came hard enough I made my lip bleed. But it seemed that was the last one I needed. I laid there for a few more moments, completely spent. I realized I had imagined every bit of it as being with them, their hands bringing me pleasure and causing me to come.

I finally stood and finished my shower, gasping a little as I washed between my legs, a little scared I would kick off that need again. If it did, I wasn't completely sure I wouldn't go in there and just ride Thor all night. I remembered how large he felt pressed against me and shivered. No, I had to think of something else before I went in and fucked the shit out of him. I turned water to straight cold and the shock of it on my skin got rid of any arousal I had. I stood there until I was shivering with cold. I got out, dried off, and quickly got dressed. 

I walked out of the bathroom and earned a wink from Thor. I blushed. I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought. I blew out the candle and crawled into bed under the covers with Thor. He chuckled and ran a finger over my lip. 

"You didn't need to hurt yourself, Ari. Although I am partly pleased I was the cause."

I blushed harder. Yeah, I so wasn't as quiet as I thought. "I'm sorry. Do you still want to be here? I know it's probably awkward now."

"Not at all. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

I smiled and snuggled up next to him and as his arms came around me, I fell into a dreamless sleep.