Chapter 5: A True Bastard

▯—[ Day 3 ]—▯

Life is nothing more than a game.

In case you hadn't noticed, I like talking about life.

Oh~ what pleasure it brings.

It was like spring had come. I haven't even lost my virginity yet, but the feeling was still tantalizingly sweet.

A life of freedom. You could streak through woods butt naked if you wanted and no one would care.

Just like no one would care if you tripped, fell, and broke your neck afterwards. It's all too simple.

"Eh…Ezra-san, a-are you sure this is alright?"

Walking alongside me, the ever timid Gobuji-kun spoke.

He's a cute bastard. 

After I had finally managed to convince him to come with me, he's been asking all these pointless questions.

Reminds me of one of those annoying kids who'd talk so much you'd want to strangle them.

'Is this really okay, Ezra-san…?'

'C-can we really hunt like this, Ezra-san…?'

'What if it's dangerous, Ezra-san…?'

'Is my asshole ready, Ezra-san…?'

I don't fucking know, man. Leave me alone...…!

"There's no reason to be afraid. If you stick close to me, I'll protect you. Just follow my instructions."

"R-right, I trust you, Ezra-san…"

"Good."

We were both carrying large sticks in place of actual weapons.

This was extreme poverty.

While there was a room in the back of the cave that had all kinds of things, including tattered women who'd been drowned in affection, us lowly newborns weren't allowed to use it.

The elder goblin who'd named me came by as I was taking a quick peek inside. He said something along the lines of 'It's precious stuff, so we can't give it away all willy-nilly'.

But to summarize, he basically meant 'It'd be a waste to give it to you moronic cannon fodder. You'd lose it the first second you got it'.

Makes sense though.

If you gave a child a precious toy, they'd probably break it. Things like that can't be used irresponsibly.

—I should've just stolen one of those swords…

*Snap—Crunch….....!*

There was a sound. The sound of twigs and leaves.

Both of us immediately stopped in place.

It wasn't loud, so it meant the creature who produced it was small. More than likely even smaller than a goblin.

A Horned Rabbit....

I was right.

We spotted it right outside a family of bushes. 

The furry creature with a sharp horn situated atop its head was nibbling at grass.

If I remember correctly, a rabbit's senses are sharp. At the slightest scare, it will run away.

That won't do. That won't do at all.

Sneaking up on it would be a fool's errand. How shitty. I wish it'd just keel over and die.

Die for me...….!

"Since it's like this, Gobuji-kun, you'll have to do something very important."

"…..Ez-Ezra-san…on, uh, on second thought…I….I wanna go back…."

Come again? Are my ears malfunctioning? I'll have to clean them later since there's no way he just said that.

"Gobuji-kun."

"…."

"What's the matter? Why're you being like this, Gobuji-kun…?"

"We…we could get hurt…a-and…There's food in these bushes and trees, so…"

"…."

Ah, I see. I get it now. I understand. It makes sense.

I looked at his tense expression. That adorable but stupid face. It was adorable enough that I felt like throwing up in my mouth.

"….Okay."

"Really….? W-we can go back…?"

There was instant relief, but he was still careful.

"Of course… If you're nervous, there's no point in forcing you. We'll go back today and try again later."

"Ezra-san…."

"Don't worry about stuff like that~ We're friends, Gobuji-kun…"

He looked touched. 

This is what friends are for. True friendship you couldn't even buy with money.

But the thing is—

"Alright, lead the way back. We'll collect some fruits and stuff to eat."

"Got it….!"

As soon as he turned around and began walking, I raised my stick high into the air like a sword before bashing it down on his head at full strength.

*THUNK!—C-CRACK....!*

"AUGH!"

—I don't have any friends, goblin-chan.

He instantly collapsed to the ground, blood pouring from his fractured skull.

A knockout on impact.

But he wasn't dead with just that.

So….

*THUMP!—SPLCH....!*

I hit him again.

*SPLUCK!!*

And again.

*SPLGHHHH!!*

Aaaaaaand again~

*SPLUNK!!*

Until his head was nothing more than a mushy chunk of meat.

Damn, is that white shit brain matter….?

That's gross.

Blood had splattered all over me as well.

"Haaa…."

I looked down at his corpse and sighed.

"If we're gonna work together, I'm gonna need you to be a little more obedient, Gobuji-kun…"

Such is life.

You can't control the actions of others, but you can choose whether or not to kill them.

Truly strange how things work out like that.

It's not something to be sad about though. It wasn't a loss on my part.

After all—

"Arise"

He's only been enlisted into the army. It's like noblesse oblige. This is an exclusive opportunity. Very exclusive.

Shadows flickered as though they were flames. Tendrils seeped out of his corpse and formed into a humanoid shape.

"You're finally awake, huh, Gobuji-kun. Oh…! I'm sorry, that's not your name anymore, is it?"

The shadow goblin kneeled down in front of me, its eyes a blazing ember of blue.

Ah~ it's really satisfying to describe things like this. I feel like some kind of movie narrator. Keke.

Gazing down at my kneeling fresh recruit, I patted its head.

"Take good care of me, Soldier-kun~"

Life…is really nothing more than a game.

*

*

*

*

*

*

After wiping all the blood off myself, I ended up storing Gobuji's body in my inventory.

I couldn't just leave it. It'd be a waste to leave free food.

Now, I'm currently walking back to the cave, a dead Horned Rabbit in hand.

It was a bit troublesome to kill, but I still managed—With the help of my new shadow soldier of course.

There was also something else I gained from this little outing.

[You have killed a very important Side Character

Reward: +300 DP]

Ah~

The breeze today…

It feels magnificent