Chapter 4: What Is Friendship

▯—[ Day 3 ]—▯

I want to scream.

Is it alright if I scream?

What about if I hump the ground?

No matter how you look at it, there's no strangeness to it.

It feels natural. Like one of those fraudulent commercials that play on TV 24/7, it's just pure with no added preservatives.

Who eats that bullshit anyways.

But the reason I'm saying this is, there comes a time in life where you feel as if a turning point has o-occurred—I think that's how you say it.

Make no mistake. Destiny hasn't given you any kind of opportunity. You either do or die. You'll most likely die though.

Most things aren't fair. They were never meant to be. The only thing you can do is suck it up, deepthroat, and swallow.

However, yet, possibly….by chance, there might be a very low, m-minuscule probability of getting lucky.

I don't have luck. At least, that was what I had previously convinced myself of.

Life is shitty. It's true. I've said this countless times already.

Why not just die? I haven't tried that one before. I'm too scared.

What about gang rape? Don't threaten me with a good time.

In the span of a few seconds, my life has flashed before my eyes twice and I've gone through four midlife crises.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Fuck.

[You have received the Unique Grade Job-Class: <Shadow Lord>]

How about now?

My breath got caught in my throat for a moment. I've never even heard of this shit but it sounds official. 

I thought I might have a heart attack because I couldn't feel my pulse.

This is too much to bear.

Nee-sama's grace is pouring down on me like a golden shower. She's actually urinating on me.

This is why I'm a believer.

[Shadow Lord: The dead answers your call and serves you eternally as immortal shadows]

[You have received the skills: <Shadow Extraction> and <Shadow Preservation>]

[A more complete set of abilities will be distributed upon reaching the next milestone]

Hey, hey, hey. Didn't I say I was the king…?

Who doubted me?

Who said otherwise?

I'll burn em' at the stake.

Fucking witches.

I'm really trying my best not to scream at the top of my lungs and jump around like a child on a sugar rush.

But goddamn do I feel high right now.

Is this real?

"Haaaaa…..!"

I had to sit down for a moment.

Alright, we're good.

Let's not die just yet.

There's too much to do. Sometimes life is an unstoppable force. You have to choose wisely about whether or not you want to try and block it.

Even then, you'll fail. You were never meant to succeed.

Only I was. Bastard.

***

▯[—<<Personal >>—]▯

True Name: [] [] [] [] [] [] []

Name: Ezra(Ra)

Rank: 1

Race: Goblin(New Species)

Gender: Male

Level: 1

Job-class: Shadow Lord

Subclass: None

Shadows: 0

[—[Stats]—]

Strength: 20 —> 28(F+)

Endurance: 15 —> 26(F+)

Agility: 30 —> 43(F+)

Magic: 50(E-)

Intelligence: 55(E-)

Luck: 15(F+)

Free Stat Points: 0

[—[Personal Skills]—]

• [World Language] • [*Shadow Extraction*] • [*Shadow Preservation*] •

[—[Inherent Skills]—]

Goblin: • [Unique] • [Dominance] • [Precocious] • [Rape] • [Cunning]

 • [Demon Tribe Factor] • [Night Vision] •

▯[—<<——— >>—]▯

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I've reoriented myself now. Stop worrying, we're good. 

I don't feel any pain in my limbs so I'm going to assume I've fully recovered. Pain is a real bitch.

What comes with pain is fear, and now I'm scared of exercising. It's not even my fault, honestly.

I stood up. The ground was cold as usual. Not much to mind though.

Since it's still noon, most of the other goblins were up and about, not doing anything in particular. The reason I say 'most' is because a single goblin lay passed out in the middle of the walkway.

I forgot his name, but—Protagonist-kun....!

A real wonder, this guy.

Anyways, it's the third day of us newborns, so I guess that's why we're still being fed 'baby food' by the older ones.

If I'm not wrong, it should be something like, 'go out and get your own food', by tomorrow or the next day.

Look at these cretins. Keeping us well-fed before sending us out to die.

If it hadn't already been said before, I'll say it again. These comrades of mine are retarded. Probably the dumbest creatures yet.

Now what happens when you send lovely bastards such as these out into the wild? If anyone answered, 'they fend for themselves', you deserve to be slapped with an orc penis.

I guess it's up to me to lead them onto the right path. I was prepared for this from the start.

You cannot reject a divine mission. I dare not.

This filthy young master will not hesitate to bend over in front of Nee-sama.

Take me~

"Uh..... Hello? A-are you looking at me…?"

A little male goblin spoke to me.

He was timid. Right off the bat, this green sweetheart was panicking. For no reason at that.

"H-hey, um....."

Am I scary? I'm not such a scary guy, am I?

I had walked over to him in the hopes of finding my first recruit, but it's already starting off in the wrong direction.

"I didn't mean to bother you. Am I bothering you right now?"

"Yes….? Oh, oh, I, that's not....!"

"..."

He sat there scratching the back of his bald head sheepishly. He couldn't even form a proper sentence. I guess this is what they call social anxiety.

I didn't realize there was more than one male goblin with this much sense.

If I'm not wrong, the females are far more intelligent than their male counterparts.

Since they all look damn near the same, I just came to this guy at random. Who would've thought.

There's some actual reason in his eyes.

"It's frightening isn't it?"

"F-frightening…..?"

"The stuff outside this cave. Those creatures. Just thinking about fighting them is scary..."

"It's, it's, uh, I mean. It is…."

"Who would want to go out and do something so risky? It's too dangerous."

"R-right, it's too dangerous. I….I don't want to fight…."

His face was starting to become more animated, but he was also panicking slightly.

I sat down beside him.

"It's alright to be nervous."

"Huh….?"

"It's a good thing to think about. When you fear something, you're a lot more cautious."

"I-I…I don't know…."

"That's perfectly fine. My name is Ezra, by the way. Mind telling me yours?"

"I, uh, my name is G-Gobuji…"

He visibly relaxed. Almost like a deflated balloon, he was starting to get comfortable.

"Gobuji. I'm sorry to tell you, but we really don't have a choice."

"...!!"

"One of these days, we'll have to go out and fight. It might even be tomorrow. These elders here won't keep feeding us for free…"

"T-that's not, no, I-I can't.... I don't think I'm good at fighting...w-what should I do? Ezra-san….!"

This guy was terrified. He looked at me like I had a solution.

That's actually kinda funny.

It's not like there isn't a way to avoid fighting though. While it's more preferable to eat meat, there's a forest with all kinds of nuts and berries just outside the cave.

But the thing is, I don't want to tell him that. This kiddo is intelligent enough to fear the unknown. A recruit like him might find his use somewhere.

"Aren't I in the same situation as you, Gobuji?"

"What…do you mean?"

"We'll both have to go out, but if it's the two of us…."

"Ah…! T-then…it wouldn't be so dangerous…"

"Exactly. You're really smart, Gobuji-kun~ I knew it was right to come talk to you."

"H-huh…? I'm not really…."

He shook his head, scratching his nose in embarrassment.

"You're also humble. As expected of a pussy bitch."

Ah. Goddamnit….