Pain

During the time I was with the old lady I lost sight of Catherine so I ran around the settlement looking for her or for Aqua,

while I helped everyone who was in my direction, unfortunately I wouldn't be able to help everyone, without paying the price

 So I decided to prioritize the people I care about

'If they both lost to someone I would need my maximum strength'

I hear several howls that don't fit with all this screaming, all this massacre

'My people are dying! all of them, they helped me all this time for what? so I can't save them?'

when passing around a corner I abnormally see the street without puppets, I decide to go through it when I see a body flying from inside a house

It's Victor,

I instinctively run in front of him to defend himself against the attacker,

I jump forward with my spear emerging, and the man in the mask in front of me, as if mocking me, had his guard down as he dodged my thrusts.

I feinted a blow with the body of the spear and lunged towards the direction he dodged,

"Hehe"

Shock describes my face, he simply held back my attack with all my strength with two fingers,

"So weak"

'This voice..'

I felt my breath leave my body when I received his fist in my solar plexus

We exchange blows for a few minutes, him dodging and countering me while I slowly feel subdued.

until I finally managed to land a significant "blow", landing a blow on his face, he flew to the same house he had come from

rain of dust and ash glittered in my sight as my heart missed a beat

Having time to breathe, I took the opportunity to try to remember where that voice was from.

When he walked out of the wreckage while wiping the dust off his shoulders, apparently intact from my blow

When I saw his face no longer covered by ashes, I understood...

I finally understood...

I am cursed

I see Julian smiling disdainfully as he looked at me from above, I felt small, I don't know if it was because of our distance in height or if all the beatings started to weigh on me like kilos of cement.

"You've grown up little brother"

I unconsciously took a step back when I heard Victor crying,

I looked back and saw the same vision I had a while ago

Victor missing an arm as he held Aqua in his hands, blood covering his entire chest and a lifeless expression in his eyes.

'Victor...'

I wanted to run away, every inch of my body wanted to abandon them and live another day,

'I feel like if I do this I'll never be able to move forward again'

The girl's voice once again tempting me

'Kill them, end their suffering, or will you go against the brother who beat you so many times?, who treated you so well, who helped you survive'

'They are your friends and you let them lose their arms, their lives, Look Victor is blaming you now.

When I look back again I see Victor looking at me with eyes full of fury and resentment

All the sadness and fear of being alone filling me as I forced myself to look forward and face my biggest fear

Julian

I grip the spear hard enough to turn my hands white

I go back to the fight with Julian, but now he's fighting back, hitting me, reminding me of the old days

At each exchange between us I came back with 5 or more injuries and he was sometimes intact

By instinct I pretended to lunge with the spear, with the momentum I turned and hit one of his legs when he lost his balance and fell.

"Kill him, kill him Kill him, look what he did to his friends, his family,

You forgot? their scream?

How much did they suffer?

You disgust me"

I thrust the spear towards him but he rolls to the right and jumps back.

I enter a state of maximum concentration, when everything seems to have no sound, as if it were just me and him facing each other.

Using all my ability to focus, try to protect my friends

When I hear a whistle, and feel the air change around Julian,

"You almost killed me brother. Why didn't you try to look for me? I was so desperate when you disappeared,"

"They wanted you and I promised to take you..."

I raised an eyebrow at that sentence when

"Take me? AFTER WHAT YOU DID?"

Seeming to expect it, he smiled amusedly.

"Well... dead or alive hehe"

He disappeared from my sight like a blur when he tried to stab me with his twin blades, strangely every time he hit me he healed himself.

 'So that's it, he heals according to the blood he takes'

I dodged and started to fight defensively, when my golden spear disappeared into particles, abandoning me in the middle of the war.

seeming to have noticed that this was unintentional Julian began to be more fierce

I kept dodging and getting involved in this dance

I trip over one of the dead bodies when I fall, Julian takes the opportunity to move forward and finish me off

I close my eyes waiting for the sweet embrace of death but to my surprise it never came

Victor came out of nowhere biting Julian while saying something to me

When I looked into his eyes I saw despair...

I've seen so many emotions through those eyes, we shared food, home, fights and now he's dying

For some reason between the flesh and his teeth I managed to interpret a sound before he tried harder and jumped off the bridge with Julian

I run to try to save him but I trip and he falls with me.

"VICTOR!!!! NO NO NO DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASERR"

BOOM!

the wind from the explosion makes me fly a few meters away

Panting, I try as hard as I can to see what happened, when I look down at the burning forest

I feel a huge void inside me

all that effort to protect them, to prevent this from happening for nothing,

 'I'm really useless'

I look around, bodies, the blood contrasting with the brightness of the flames, more bodies, the putrid smell of human flesh being burned makes me wrinkle my nose as I can only cry

cry and cry, like a dam just releasing the passage to pour out all the pain and suffering

At that moment a memory comes to my mind and I pick up the wooden doll and for some reason it all makes me want to cry even more

a contrast of voices in my head as a young voice and an old voice tell me opposite things

'DIE!'

'Alive'

'I don't know...'

With great difficulty, I make up my mind and get up, looking for any survivors I can save,

that you can save me from so much guilt, from so much pain. anyone will do...