Life goes on...

You might refer to it as running away from my problems ,but I call it getting to clear my head , and trying to keep sane . After I moved back home ,Dad promised to help me to help me find me a job at one of the Law firms in Jo'burg ,well I did pass my degree with flying colors . I didn't feel like facing the people ,I decided to visit Joe in Durban for a month ,to try getting my life on track . Lwandile tagged along .

The first thing I did when I reached Durban was cut my hair short ,I looked so different but that was actually what I was aiming for . Joe was happy to have us . For the first time in his entire life ,he was really sympathetic towards me and felt for me . In that house I could feel mom's presence . I actually had a dream the first day I slept in my old bedroom in Durban ,mom assured me that my boys were in a happy place ,and that it wall all pass ,as long as I trust in the almighty father .

Joe took us to all his all his favorite places ,and couldn't wait to gloat to all his friends about us ,his children who we're very successful . He did look really skinny and alone . But when I confronted him about being alone ,he just laughed at me and said ,he had his wife with him always . He told me he could see his wife in just a little while . I bonded with him during that time and he helped me put some things into perspective.

Lwandile on the other hand wanted to bring back the old me . So this one day he took me bungee jumping ,that was the scariest thing ever ,but it gave me that adrenaline rush I needed . After the little chat I had with my mom ,it was all getting all little better . The only thing that still made me miserable ,is that I couldn't t heal with Malik by my side . I really missed him a lot and I hadn't stopped loving him, but my pride stood in the way of begging him to take me back .

The one thing I enjoyed in Durban was the long walks on the beach ,this time I had Lwandile holding my hand . We played around ,splashed each other with sand . There was this belief that the sea washed away all sins ,so Lwandile and took a splash to be away our sins . We spent most of our time at the beach ,took rides on boats . He brought me back to life ,when I felt like I was slowly dying .

I only spent three weeks in Durban then I received a call from my dad he was letting me know I had an interview . Lwandile also had a degree in B.Com but he was a bartender . I just let him be ,it was his life and he could live it the way he wanted ,and I'll just be by his side to support him . I got to Jo'burg I did my interview and I got the job . Lwandile had stayed behind ,he wanted to spend more time with his dad ,I just delivered Lj to him and went back to start the new job .

I was excited about having something to look forward to. Musa told me about how miserable Malik was and he really missed me . We had spent almost six weeks apart and not even once did he try contact me . Starting work at twenty six was a little hard since people looked down on me. some of them knew who I was because of Malik's fame and being Musa's sister ,bit I did not let them get me down ,I wanted to be someone my Babies would have been proud of .

A month after I started working at the firm I found a friend .Sebastian he was gay ,and really funny . I missed Lwandile but we talked a lot on the phone and that made it better . He told me Joe was sick ,and he had to be there for him. Sebastian kept me occupied at work with all the different kinds of gossip .Being the newbie at work I had to do all the paper work ,that day they let me actually do a case . It was nothing major ,but this guy suing another for wracking his car . I was so happy ,finally did something worthy .

I never slept a wink that night I was preparing for the next day at the court . I wanted to make it successful . I got dressed for the apart and I went to court . I really couldn't believe it when I saw the man who was being sued . It was Malik apparently he wrecked up some guys car ,because it parked in his way . When our eyes met ,I felt that feeling I felt the first time I saw him . We didn't talk he just smiled at me ,and I smiled back . I nailed it I got Malik Wright to pay for the damages of the car .On my way I passed him hoping he might talk to me ,but he just walked off ,he was a hard one to try and win back

All my hype disappeared and went back to missing his arrogant skinny little ass . I called Musa and Lwandile to tell them about what happened and the both told me the same thing " If you love him and really miss him ...take the first step " .For once in my life I listened to the advice given to me by my brothers ,who did not have women in their lives . I became the bigger person ,drove over to Malik's house and he was home . I knocked on the door ,I was really nervous and afraid . When Malik opened the door and saw me he had a smirk on his face and quickly wipes it off . He was playing games like a teenage boy . " Lorna I don't have time for you ..." He said that and tried to close the door ." Malik I want to tell you everything ,explain ,then if you still feel the same I will leave " . He looked at me and still slammed the door on my face .

I took a few steps heading for my car ,but then I stopped . Who the hell was he to slam the door at me . I went back and opened it he was on the couch . By the door there were two glass vases ,for decorating . When he saw me he stood up " Lorna what the hell ? " When he alters those words I threw the vase at him ,and he ducked ,he was shocked and amazed . " Don't even say a word I am talking now, you talk or move I am aiming this right at your big head .For a moment he actually smiled .

" I was raped when I was 18 ,got pregnant and aborted . Actually it was gang rape because it was three different guys ! This Lewis guy helped me when I tried to get run over by a train . Took me to his house ,for the first few months he took care of me ,then started demanding sex and beating me up . He beat me up every day and I couldn't go to hospital had to let the wounds heal naturally . It was hell and I couldn't escape him .One day Lwandile came to take me home ,he beat us both and tried to shot Lwandile ,I hit him on his head he died ." He tried to talk but I had the vase aimed at him ,I was fighting my tears and ,he was now also crying ." I couldn't afford for my little brother to go to jail so we got rid of him ,by burning him .It still haunts me even now ,but I would do it again because I had to escape and not a lot of women get that chance ,most of them get out in body bags "

I left him speechless ,he just sat there and I walked away .I told him everything he needed to know now it was up to him ,to decide what he wanted .I loved him yes ,but I sure as hell was not going to beg for his love. When I got home that afternoon I received a call from Lwandile ,he was in tears " Bro what's wrong ? " .He took some time to breath " Joe ,my Dad has died " .I was not surprised ,because after the talk I had with Joe ,I knew what was about to happen.

I had to take leave at work ,pack my bags and go to Durban. Lwandile had always been there for me and then it was my time to be his pillar of strength . As soon as I arrived in the morning ,he looked devastated . I just opened my eyes for him to find refuge ,and held him tight for as long as he needed me too.

Lwandile took care of Lj because I still was not comfortable with a child close to me , it just brought back emotions I wanted to stay buried up somewhere deep . I took it upon myself to organize Joe a very dignified funeral ,and he was to be buried next to my mom . Even though he had a weird way of showing it , I believed he loved my mom ,and she loved him back .

The day of the funeral came . I didn't know it would hit so much . When the people started arriving ,and saying the condolences ,I knew then Joe was gone for good . It took me miles back to mom's funeral ,and how I had to live without her . I spent so much time mad at her and hating her that I missed out on having a mother, and experiencing that mothers love . Tears rolled down my eyes when my mind went back to the funeral of the, twins, that was one scar that could never really heal ,no matter how long the time passes.

"Now I'm officially and orphan " Those were the words of Lwandile as the coffin slowly went down . " Boy please as long as you got a sister like me smothering you ,you will never be alone !" He had to smile " The best sister ever !" he hugged me I whispered to him " I love you to the moon and back " .We were interrupted by my dad . " Lwandile I'm sorry for your loss ...I wanted to tell you when I found Lorna ,God also gave me a son that I would love as my own and groom to take over the business one day since Musa was not interested ." when my dad said that he hugged Lwandile ,showing his love to him.

They went away walking and talking . He was trying to make Lwandile feel better . I just sat by one of the benches . I was watching Lj ,playing with some toddlers her age . They looked so joyful ,and in their own world. I tried to breathe to block away my tears . " It's hard I know ,I think about them every single minute of every single day ... But what killed me the most was not having you by my side " I did not turn around because I knew that voice even in my sleep . He came to stand in front of me ,Malik Wright ,he sure did take his time . " I miss you and need you back ..Forget about everything else and focus on our love "

I wiped my tears and stood up ,Lwandile kept on murmuring " take him back ! " Malik took out my wedding ring off his pocket went down on one knee ," Lorna I was a fool to let you go ,for hurting you ,and all those insults...if in Your heart you still have space for me, please be my wife again " I smiled through my tears " you took a long time to say those words, there's nothing I want more than being your wife " He stood up ,and hugged me. I had missed his arms around me ,his musky cologne ,and the sound of his heartbeat .