Chapter three. I'm rejected.

(Amaya's POV)

If not that I have to go make dinner right now, I would definitely go shower to rid myself of that putrid stench of Alexander Mais, but I don't have access to a shower, so I have to settle for the pond outside; It is the middle of fall, and this is the only access to water I have to clean myself off. I have access to the guest room to brush my teeth and do my business, but my hair is too long to even attempt to wash in that sink, moreso I can't take baths during the day when the pack is not asleep.

Luckily , the pond isn't that dirty, It is well maintained, and it is filled with water from the melting snow up in the mountains. It's even beautiful.

I have to go make food ready for the packhouse and its members, all 61 of them. So I'd have to get that bath later. I was hoping dumbly that they'd order in and I'd get to stay in my little closet. Cooking for 61 people is ridiculous, but after doing it for nearly a decade, I've grown used to it. I walk down to the kitchen and prepare dinner, if I am lucky, I muse, the Alpha will have forgotten he said no dinner to me, but that is a ginormous if , so I'm not gonna hold my breath. Lest I die.

I stand by at the kitchen door, very close to the table once everyone is at the table eating , waiting for any instructions or orders from pack members , whether it is second servings, more drinks , or to clean up their mess. It's terrible I know, but that's how it's been for the past decade now..

Suddenly Apha Richard calls out my name, pulling me out of my thoughts "Amaya.."

"Yes?"I answer as nicely as I can.

"Tomorrow is your 18th birthday , yeah? " he asks me . I look at him and nod, wondering what his obvious question is all about..

"Good, then tomorrow you will spend the day preparing for Xander's Alpha ceremony,"

"Sorry?" I ask bewildered, did I just hear him wrong?

"You are aware his Alpha ceremony is the first day of this weekend , are you not?"

"I am, but you said I can have my birthday to myself," I reinforce, hoping this is all just a sad annoying joke..

"Well, I changed my mind, after your disgusting attitude , and disrespectful behavior towards your Luna..."

"She is NOT my Luna!" I shout, very annoyed cause What The Actual F***?! The table's occupants gasp at my boldness.

"DO NOT CUT ME SHORT WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU, AMAYA ! " Richard roars in my face and this act would normally make any other wolf cower in fear, but it has no effect on me and the fact pisses him off and every other pack member, f*** them.

"You have no choice!" Alpha Richard reinforces like I've ever had a choice in the whole 10 years I've spent in slavery to the pack, "Prepare for Xander's ceremony! And you will start by sending out these invites to the neighbouring packs who share our territory!" He orders and shoves a list into my hands. I look at the list , and there are a dozen packs on it.. F***!

I am so pissed that I do not even bother to reply him, I take the list and return into the kitchen, no longer standing at the kitchen door, those damned wolves can as well sort themselves out. After everyone has eaten and has left their mess on the table , I clean up after them and do the dishes , I put the dishes away , and go to my tiny room. I wait patiently for midnight so I can go to the pond and get washed, maybe I'll rid myself of my anger in the process. I am not looking forward to it, but I need to get Xander's smell off my body cause I can't shake off this feeling of filth. I grab my towel , clean shirt, underwear, and leggings to the pond when I am certain that the rest of the packhouse is asleep. This is the only time I can get out of the house, and since the pond is part of the territory, I am technically not breaking any rules by coming here.

It is officially my 18th birthday, i realise when i get to the pond, I stare at the waxing bright moon and pray with hope that my pack and my parents are watching over me and sending me love and guidance. I've contemplated suicide multiple times in these past years, that's how its been but I have never been able to through with it.

That would mean giving up and losing, if i did go through with it! I am the furthest thing from being a quitter , and my parents raised me better than that at least that's what I remember. I was raised to be proud and if not of the unfortunate murder, I would be planning how to become a well loved and respected Luna of my pack.

A stray tear wanders down my cheek , and I quickly wipe it away, I put my clean clothes and towel on the boulder at the edge of the pond and strip out of my dirty clothes that reek of Alexander Mais. I get into the water and immediately, I shiver from the cold. Siiiiiii, i breathe in sharply as my body reacts sharply to the temperature.

Though I can't get sick or get frostbite because I'm a werewolf, that doesn't mean I can't feel cold, werewolves obviously don't lose their sense of feeling.

I soak my hair and wash my body with the single bar of soap I am given every month to stay semi-clean. Once I felt alright that I didn't smell like Xander anymore, I immerse my body once more and quickly rinse off . Once I know there is no more soap residue in my hair, I squeeze the water in my hair out, throw it into a bun, and dry it off lazily.I put on my fresh clothes that smell like a summer breeze, just like the way it smells when the summer winds blew across the lake at my old packhouse. When I am fully changed, I make my way back to the packhouse then throw my old clothes into the laundry bowl before going to sleep. When I get to my room, I take out my hair, and let it air dry as best as it can then I lay down on my little cot , pull up my handmade blanket, and close my eyes to sleep, but before I can manage to sleep, I hear a voice that calls out softly..

"Hello, Amaya"