The Stupidity of an Intelligence Agent

It's a common misconception that because you're an "intelligence agent" that you are, in fact, intelligent. Intelligence is not your career title, your GPA, nor what any test may tell you. True intelligence is far more elusive than that.

Stupidity, though? Not elusive at all. There are many ways to be stupid. Here are a few, I don't know, random examples.

It's stupid to:

1) Offer to personally track down a murderous psychopath. You who burns yourself on microwave ramen, cannot eat without staining your clothes, and is too afraid to open your own mail.

2) Agree to be trained in fieldwork by your nemesis (so that you can hunt down the aforementioned psychopath). And now you're trapped with the jackass who laughs at you for burning yourself on microwave ramen (even though it really does hurt). He who sneers at you for being a "desk monkey" while he's off being James Bond, or whatever. The man who has a nicer butt than you.

3) Put your life literally on the line just to prove you're not stupid.

No, true intelligence is one thing: knowing when to shut the fuck up.

As a tragic result of my lack of intelligence, I will now die young(ish), alone, and covered in pineapple salsa.

I should have known the end would be heralded by Bash coming home. I just didn't know I would be the cause of it.