53 | Engagements and Broken Phones

8:33pm

: hey what up kids

: stop doing the tongue tango

: Wait, how on earth did you get in here?!

: the balcony is a wonderful thing

: um hi roulette

: so

: before i was so rudely interrupted

: But you're the one who interrupted us.

: hush hush lena dear

: let's not get into the specifics here

: ...

: ...

: anyways

: i am here to invite you to my birthday party next saturday

: that sounds great! we'd love to come!

: Sounds lovely, Veronica.

: um how old are you?

: a lady never reveals her age

: lady? where? i don't see one?

: fuck off danvers

: at least i'm not nearing the ripe old age of thirty

: But Veronica, you—

: wow you threw lena's phone out the window

: whatever she's rich and sTOP POUTING LENA

: aaand they're playing tonsil tennis again i'm going to leave now

: we're not even doing anything?

: yeah i know i just needed an excuse bye bitches

: oh here's your phone lena

: be smart and heed my warning youngest luthor

: did you chuck that all the way from twenty storeys down?

: great arm strength i know right

: kahsjJshdhksk

: um i think you mean thanks?

: the screen is smashed really bad

: or she's just doin' the good ol' Gay Keysmash™

: jahshdkakGjksl

: she said she will expose all of your secrets

: sounds good

: okey dokey next on my hit list is my least favourite danvers and my bonsai loving drinking buddy

: rude

: aw don't worry you're my favourite danvers

: whAT UP BITCHES

: not again

: it's okay alex i'll call our window contractor

: here's the money come to my birthday party byeeeeee

: ...

: the contractor will be here tomorrow

: yeah we'll come to your party but totally not for the sole purpose of trashing your house

: cool cool

: next up is the lesbian cowgirl, a drunk demon hunter, and a flamethrower wielding maniac

: oH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU IN OUR BATHTUB

: hi

: ooh that donut looks nice i'll take that

: dude that was my breakfast

: it's 9pm

: why is there glitter in the tub

: when i sweat i sweat glitter

: uh huh

: so what brings you here at this time of night

: to propose to you duh

: cool let's get married

: cool

: i mean we've already consummated the marriage many times soooo

: oh my god

: ilahdgkalhJsgdhk

: lena said 'what the hell why didn't you tell me'

: oh my god wynonna you slept with roulette?!!?!!

: i mean i don't entirely blame her...

: ...

: no babe please don't cry i'm kidding

: good

: i love you

: i love you too waves

: wait is roulette engaged to wynonna

: yeah our wedding's gonna be a month from now

: woo let's get married!

: ALSHFHHLAKGJDE

: lena can be my maid of honour

: kahgjakksld

: she said she's going to scalp you for not telling her

: okey dokey

: also you're all invited to my birthday party btw

: everyone in this chat

: yes even including winslow

: ...

: great

: cool i'm going to tell my mom that i'm engaged now byeeee