Strange feeling (2)

I wandered a bit around this desolate area, filled with death and metallic smell. I knew that something must be wrong with my mind, for me to come there after this terrible battle, but I couldn't help it.

The bodies of our brothers were among those of the enemies, all lying on each other. We couldn't do otherwise. It was already a huge risk I was taking, as this ambush couldn't come from anywhere.

Maybe the enemies had some reinforcement not far away. We couldn't risk our lives simply to give a proper burial to the bodies of our comrades. The fire was even less recommended, as the luxuriant and dense forest would simply be burnt to ashes and us with it.

I walked decisively on the road full of bodies toward the entrance of the forest. I perfectly remembered where I killed the first one. I remembered my blades sinking inside his throat before his blood spilled on my face.

But other than that, nothing. His face was simply a blank mask as if what I had murdered wasn't a man, but a doll.

It didn't take long to reach the area, where the bodies in their armor and with their weapons nearby could be seen. I was only here because there were no more corpses on the road further than this place.

This battlefield was a gigantesque place of blood, and each square meter was alike. I couldn't even remember where I was, where the enemy was. It was all blurry as if it wasn't me that had participated. How many I had killed? I didn't even know.

With this strange need eating my heart, I decided to look at the face of all the dead bodies. Maybe at some point, one of them would tell me something.

There was a young man with blond hair. I turned his body, only to see his blue eyes looking at me. Here was a middle-aged man with blood leaving his mouth. This one with a beard full of blood. There again was another one smelling the piss and shit as his fearful face was unchanged after his death.

I wanted to throw up. I felt tears gather around my eyes. But I didn't stop. I wanted to know, I needed it.

"Corporal? What are you doing here?"

The distinct voice scared me so much I nearly jumped off fright. I hastily turned around, only to see Anis standing there, watching me with a slight smile. A peculiar one.

Even with all the trees, leaves, twigs, and bodies, I couldn't hear him approach me, even though he was only a few meters away in the middle of corpses.

Of course, that could be me being too focused on my strange task, But I was sure it was simply the skill of this man. Before coming to the army, he was a killer. I knew it. It was pretty obvious to understand this point.

During this fight, he was the one being the most efficient. He had slashed with incredible precision and speed. Without him, this battle would have been a tough one.

Anis and I were looking at each other. In this situation. A soldier followed his corporal and discovered that this one was a lunatic wandering around on the battlefield while tears were flowing down on his face.

It was truly ridiculous, and it could even announce trouble for me. I didn't mind though, as the man was no one else than Anis. I answered his question.

"As you can see, strolling around." I could see his lips twitch when he heard my explanation.

A large smile bloomed on my face as I saw his expression. He didn't have the best humor among my guys, but seeing his reactions were a must in one's life.

I looked around, encompassing the bloody area with my eyes. There was a dead body at my feet. I was even with my feet stepping on his hand. Maybe I killed him, or maybe it was another one.

I felt something inside my chest swelling as if tears wanted to burst out at any moment. But strangely, I couldn't feel anything. My feelings were blocked by something, and the body was only a puppet.

I couldn't understand. I knew that I had been killed and that maybe this one was one of my victims. But even so, my mind didn't acknowledge it. Without any say on it, my brain refused to feel anything, told me that I shouldn't have to feel anything and that a dead body was simply that. A dead body without an ounce of life.

That was why I was there. That was why I was walking on the blood. Something was definitely wrong with me, and I didn't even know the reason. I didn't even know if it was from me, or if everyone was feeling those same emotions.

"Tell me Anis." I returned my inquisitive gaze to the thin young man, who was the best one out there to help me. "Do you remember your first kill?"

A question out of the blue for him. I instantly felt that I shouldn't have asked this. He smiled at my question. A smile that I would think about from time to time. Then his answer. His terrible answer made my eyes widen on their own.

"Yes, I remembered it. It will probably never leave my mind until my last day."

He looked calmly in my direction, with this smile. It was as if he was talking about the blue sky or the rainy days. But the sadness behind his face was still palpable, like a heavy burden posed on his shoulder for a long time.

"After all, it was my brother."

These unexpected words shook my core inside my being. Maybe it wasn't appropriate, that such a question shouldn't be asked. Maybe I should apologize, or try to comfort this man. But I couldn't do it.

I could only do one thing, and that was to know. I wanted to know everything about this man who had fought like a terrifying snake on the battlefield.

"Tell me."