Chapter 029

"So the shopping is done, now time for some arcade." Azriel's eyes glinted with playfulness.

And me? I was beyond excited. My first time in an arcade. I tried my best to suck in all my emotion, but I couldn't. When I was in college, people would often talk about how pretty the arcade was, how cool it was, and they made plans there. Bowling. Go-Karting. These were the terms I'd usually hear back then.

Now, it was all in front of me, and even better than the picture that was in my mind for years. Neon lights, colourful lights were all over the ceiling of the big arcade, making my heart race faster with animation.

I looked over to Azriel who was already gazing at me with a small smile on his lips.

"Which game first. Fiery?" He asked, his voice raised so that I could hear him through the noise.

"It's my first time. So, I don't really know so you choose." I said loudly, leaning closer to his ear.

A smirk curved up his lips, "Fine, basketball first. Get ready for a challenge."

"Basketball?" I questioned as pulled me to where people were trying to throw basketball in the net. Some were failing, some were not. They were not giving up until the game was over. They finished when they were done.

"Selene." Azriel spoke in my ear.

"Yeah?"

"I'll bring the card, okay, you stay here?"

"Wait...What card?" He was already gone by the time I finished my sentence.

An anxious feeling took over my body, too many people, too many eyes, what if they all stared at me at the same time with disgust. I shook my head to throw away the thoughts in the garbage and stood a little straighter.

A boy stumbled to me, all of a sudden, and I backed off, "What the fuck?" I coughed as fell on side of me, making me fall too.

"I know you." The boy said, making my heart beat thump.

"F-From where?" I said, reluctantly as I got up with him. I wanted to run away but I decided to stay.

"You were involved in your parent's death! Weren't you?"

My heart skipped a beat as the boy's accusation hit me like a punch to the gut. Memories of the tragic accident flooded my mind, and I felt a surge of emotions welling up inside me. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself.

"No," I replied firmly, my voice slightly trembling. "I had nothing to do with my parents' death. They didn't c-catch the k-killer yet so he or she's still out there." I blurted out, not knowing what to say.

The boy's eyes narrowed, his expression filled with skepticism. "That's what they all say. You're just trying to cover it up. I know the truth."

I could feel a knot forming in my stomach as anxiety washed over me. I hadn't expected such a situation in the midst of this. I glanced around, hoping to find Azriel returning with the card.

Before I could respond, Azriel appeared by my side, his eyebrows down together. "Hey, what's going on here?"

The boy turned to face Azriel, his demeanor suddenly shifting. "Who are you?"

Azriel came in front of me, towering above the boy, "Her friend. And you?"

My eyes widened. No, no, no, no, no. If this person told Azriel, my guardian, I am sure he would go away too. I couldn't let that happen. No. Not someone leaving me again. Not Azriel. But before I could speak up, he did, "I know who she is. She's responsible for her parents' death."

Oh, no. I hung my head low, all my hope I gained today came crashing down and I felt in my stomach. I'd be alone. Again.

Azriel chuckled darkly at the boy, "You seem to know a lot?" He clapped on the boy's shoulder, clutching it tightly, making the boy groan in pain.

My, now, puzzled face shot up at Azriel. What was he doing? He was supposed look me in the eye, and give me a confused, disgusted look.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The boy snarled at him.

"She didn't do anything. So run before I punch you to death about accusing her all of sudden." He left his shoulder alone, turning toward me.

My eyes were wide, my mouth was open. MInd looped a question in my mind. Why? And I was about to ask it, but the boy said something that made me shook in terror, "I'll make sure you pay."

"You better watch your words." Azriel's jaw clenched, his voice firm and scary.

The boy's gaze flickered between Azriel and me, uncertainty creeping into his eyes. "You're just trying to defend her because you're involved too."

"You have no idea what you're talking about. Now, leave before things I make things worse for you."

"Why? She's ruined my family too. She killed my parents too. And I'll get revenge." Finally, he glared at me one last time before reluctantly turning away and disappearing into the crowd.

The crowd, the noise, the world stopped and I was left alone with my musings. What was he talking about? Tears welled up and traced down my cheeks. No. Why? I didn't do anything. Was what Abaddon showed me true? That I killed. That I was indeed a murderer. That I had such great darkness inside me. I gulped hard as my mind flooded with questions, leaving me no room to breath. I panted. I was a monster.

"Selene." I looked up at Azriel into his eyes as he called out my name. Concern was etched on his face, "Don't think." He spoke, his voice soft.

I shook my head. I couldn't help but think. I was a monster. Everyone had been right all along.

He clicked his fingers, and we were in my room within less than a second. Magic. I fell down on my knees, sobbing. No, no, no.

"Shh," He whispered, crouching down and embracing me while I cried like a mess I always was. Why was I dreaming? Why was I here? I knew it would all crash down. I knew it. Then, why was I still hoping? Why was I still alive?

"Selene," He whispered. "You're not a monster."

"How do you know?" I yelled at him. "And how do I know that I am not?!"

Azriel held me tighter, "I know everything."

"You don't!" I cried out on his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. "You don't know! Abaddon showed me what I was like. He showed me the fight I had my parents when I was seven. He showed me that I smashed my father's head into-into the fucking wall. He showed me a little boy crying, while I murdered brutally, ruthlessly. I didn't even recognise my fucking self! But it was me!" I sniffled, thrashed around in his hold, did everything I could so that he'd leave me. But he didn't. He was there, and he was holding me like if he let go I might die.

He spoke, when I finally gave up on my desperate attempts to pull away from him, "Selene, you are not a monster. You are special."

I cried out, "No! Stop! Stop fucking speaking and leave me alone!"

"Selene." He spoke, sternly. "Listen to me. You are not a monster. You are scared. That's what you always were. You saved people because you were scared what they'd do to the ones that actually loved you."

"How do you know? You don't-"

"I know because I was there."

My eyes scrunched up in confusion, my red eyes irritating me, "You weren't."

He gently lifted my tear-stained face, his eyes locking with mine. "I was. You killed my father. I was your guardian but you saved me."

"What? I killed more people?" Disgust washed over me. What even was I? What the fuck was up with him? What the fuck was I?

"God, no. I don't know if you killed my father or not because we didn't find his body. But you saved me from my father." Azriel's eyes saddened, and I felt like I was watching a whole another person. "He did bad things, Selene, to a lot of people. A lot. To me. To you. You killed him, you saved me."

"N-No. I don't remember-" I began but he cut me off, "But I do. I remember every fucking thing. And I remember you're not a monster. I know that."

"Why are you not leaving?" I spoke, tears still flowing down, wetting his shirt.

"I would never leave." He said, his eyes staring into mine with such strength and sincerity. "Never. I'll never leave you. Trust me."

I didn't know what to do. Now I couldn't think at all but I nodded, slightly. He would've left me already if he wanted to.

"I don't know the whole truth Selene, about who you are, about where this'll take us. But don't lose hope. It's the only thing that keeps one alive. So, I'll fucking beg if you want me to, but hang on to it."

I burst out crying again.