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The Scrummy Bummy Lore

In the infantile state of a new universe were many creatures in their starting phase, one of which was a juice pouch and straw that would challenge any vegetables from the cabbage patch to a round of fisticuffs, ultimately overcoming them and absorbing their power, thus, it became formidable and left behind an entire and complete heritage behind. This being was later known to be none other but...The Succ Sage. The self named Genius Gang, a group of intellectuals with knowledge far beyond the norm of this infantile universe then began to rise and found this heritage, allowing them to begin their ascent to the higher realms. The Scrummy Bummy Lore is an incomprehensive, shortened archive of the real events that the Genius Gang went through on their path. Translator's Note: As the best translator in the world, it is easy to assume that my translation will be complely on point, however, the Scrummy Bummy Lore, being written in the language of the Gods, was far too complex for even a genius like I to translate fully, as I, just like you, am a mere mortal. Please do read this novel with an open mind, keeping in mind that not only are there multiple meanings that we do not understand, but also many that can eventually be understood through comprehensive thought. I myself feel as though I have matured as not just a person, but as an entity in this vast universe that we call our home after reading this novel. In short, I must say that if the human race ever evolves to the point where we can incorporate the Scrummy Bummy Lore into our national curriculum as the most significant subject, I can die knowing that humanity shall live on to achieve great things.

ImmenseEgg · realistisch
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69 Chs

Blodvappa vs Manly McManz Slapping Contes part TWO

"A jar of jalapenos?" MRSB MAMAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAMAMAMAMAJAJJAJAJAJA was appalled by this, to think that through the power of doing it to them, her victim, a stodent of her school., could survive her reality ripping dapper suit shiting strike!! ? manwithbanastandingupsayingHOW???.jpeg

"Did you think that i, blong vaper 69 89, was even in my final form?" blodvappa asked, but mamysford knew that his form was 6.9 and wouldnt xchange over his 2 years at school what he eman?? his jalapeno lid slowly unscrewed billowing out thousands of tons of mustard gas that spread out, plubnging the vicinuity into a sea of yellow smoke. creamy crtiical, having breathed in 2 tons of chloruine gas and 5 minutes of asbestos from the desteruction the prevguious alap had caused, was very werak. but just on the verge of his death he smelled the colmans mustard on his cold beef sandwich and was brought back to life, ready, for aq tasty snack... !"on a tier list riiight last nuiight i would defffoiiinutyrly rate mustard gas A tier whereras chlorine gas...solid D tier"

I willn write nice 6969 timwe on chapter 69.

Not being a bichazz mfker manly manzfod who did not expegg her oponent to survive the slap, was initially taken back, but was not worried, stoically approaching the slapping contest table. She did not quite understand the concept behind 'having to do it to em'm, but knew her defense was top notch from being a bare knuckle boxer in the north for the last 80 years. She had a solid chin of granite.

Jos cot, as a jar of jalapenos, was ready to deploy a devestating slap, one that exceeds 3even the previous suit shiting slap. Once, twice and then thrice, he telephioned ther rest of the wenius wang, and they picked up saying "Say my name again then say it twice and the thrice then p0 on your dad so i can p0 on your mom" and blongvappa's chopped jalapenos almost fell out, milky wilks/ menace ellis the rapper rappist was ont he other side of the phone? Hearing this filled the protective nitrogen atmosphere in his jar with strength and his lid unscrewed, screwed then unscrewed multiple times.

Seeing this, manly mamzford gave out a hearty chuckle come say take off your cloth, revision, take off your liD!!!! the audience laughed so hard their skulls shattered and their immune systems shut down, elaping onto the state to consume the flesh of the two in the slapping contest. "you donut even have arms or hands to slap me with, how will you, a jar of jalapenos sbeat me in this SLAPPING contest you ridiculous pervet and a twat ..!!!!!!!!!!!!" but jos cot was not disheartened by this comment.

Aplying chalk to the lid of his jalapeno jar self, the lid slowly twistedon fully and the jar began to shake violently. "you have made an oversight i tink mrz majlpord" jos cot said as it began to rain and the thunder rumbled. "I do not pronounce jalapenos correctly, saying a hard 'J'."

Upon saying this, jos cot eclaimed "jalapeno" in his incorrect pronunctioatino...and the sky was alight with spiicy 6 1 spicy chikin rap an 10000000000000 strikes of lightning hit jos pilott's, however, the jalapeno jkuice in the jar acted as an acid abnd the lid acted as an electrode, essentially, jos plot as a jar acted as a super capacitor being struck for being sinful, but charging rapidly. At this point of time, hydrated critical had already been turned into a rice krispie with his forehead looking like a sponsorship from raid shadow legends, but was then zapped for a single attoswcond by corana discharge from the capacitor jalapeno jar and disintegtrated. R.i.p. H2O critical he was good at scrabble.

the sinful jar of jalapenos was now a bag of pork cracklings cooking in the lightning before the lid of the jar made a half turn towards opening before retracting. the ground began to shake as the continent of africa became a racer and ran the 100m before flipping over and sinking into the mantle layer forcing the co-op and Tesco's to reduce the price of their meal deal all the way down to £2.50 causing jos cot's jalapeno eyes to pop out of his skull and attend a university lecture on floral curtains.

Again, the lid slowly opened then retracted, such that it had become a radiator connected to central heating, he was a cheese and pesto person and wore a milk carton. "prepare for my spiicy malicey attack" in which the jalapeno jar's lid was suddenly the sussy imposter resulting in the lights going off due to sabotage. "daaaam" ms malabama ran to electrical to turn on the lights again but suddenly right the jalapeno lid vented and shot right into ms (((((( as a devestating slap. It was at this moment that dihydrogen monoxide critical's mouth stretched vertically till it encompassed the entire universe in a 2d scale.

as the universe split in half due to wa'er cri'ical's 69 attac right it was revealed that mrs mardlin makan was now a skinhead and Jos cot elongated horizontally to 80 miles. ow could this be ?? he was tinking, he did not want to taka second SLA pap but it seems that this dihydrogen phosphate will be even trickier than he thought, but of course it was a this moment that his mum was liiike "oi fk off m8" ignoring the rules and became a nutribullet blender, punching and cutting miz mimamfd 6000000000000000 time and scotland became independent from the UK.

I am traped in an avalanche

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