19: Dream of Diary 2

As the nighttime eats ICE's time, she let herself relax and refresh as soon as she gets back into her bedroom. But when she was about to sleep beside her beloved lady, Sabrina, she noticed a journal that she didn't finish to read.

"She read my journal again…" ICE sighed but the glad smile didn't fade away from her lips.

"...I hope it didn't send you to tears whenever you read them." she added because her journal was full of happiness and painful memories of their teenage years.

ICE was about to put the journal on the bedside table when she notice a certain page that had a bookmark that made her check it out. She sat comfortably on the bed beside Sabrina and began reading it. She was totally familiar with the page since it was the page where she pour out something about Sabrina.

~ + ~

February 14

I was shaking for some odd reason. Nervous, maybe and it was about a certain person that I am looking at; Sabrina. Each time I am with her, there's always silence between us but it was a kind of silence that peaceful and soothing. But I could still remember what she told me.

'Valentines made everyone excited about love but instead, you're here and why is that?'

'I'm not a fan of noise.'

'Same goes for me.'

'I see but you're the lady of the household and you're not enjoying the party.'

'I'd rather sit here with you in silence than be preoccupied with unwanted noises from them.'

'And can I know the reason why?'

'My heart belongs here.'

'Here?'

'There.'

'Ohh…my heart…you like me?'

'If that's what you called it then name it like that. Anyway, let me rest here. Just wake me up if they were done being noisy.'

Sabrina slept on my lap that moment and my heart started to beat for some reason. I know that I am attracted to her even way before I came here for the first time. But that attraction was getting deeper and I'm at peace with her.

'What does it mean? Why all of a sudden my heart started to beat as if it was only for her?'

I might keep asking about whys in my head but I can't deny or hide the fact that Sabrina was indeed having an impact on my life. And if she's gone, I know for sure that I will be devastated or even worse - I might kill without remorse.

February 28

There some many things happy ever since the heart's day that they were celebrating in the said month, something change around Sabrina. She became colder than before but she easily loses her cool for some reason that I can't figure out. And whenever she was having those moments of annoyance or irritation or even anger issues, she'll be looking for me throughout the entire mansion.

'Finally, I found you.'

I have been wondering how she easily can find me whenever the others can. It's been on my mind lately ever since February 14. I could not even hide myself from her whenever I tried to hide but she still easily find me which made me worried and confused at the same time. It made me run to her parents for clarification.

'Mommy, why Sab can easily find me when you all couldn't?'

'Oh, she does now?'

'Kiddo, she might have a huge crush on you that's why.'

'Daddy, not a funny joke. I wanna know the truth. How and what makes her different from anyone of you who can't find me even just around the mansion's perimeter?'

'We can't also give you a definite answer but maybe because your soul's hearts were connected. It was like a twin that cannot be parted.'

'Don't run away from her, kiddo. It will upset her.'

'But sometimes she scares me with her sudden temperament issue lately…I don't understand her. At first, she was silent and having a nice peaceful reading moment but whenever Uncle Earl or Joan came to invite me for training, her mood turn sour and full of flames. She's scary.'

'Oh my…she really likes you to the core.'

'Kiddo, you have to understand and be open-minded whenever you are going to deal with the jealous side of our daughter.'

'Jealous?'

'Yes, kiddo. When people like or love someone so much, they were going to feel that. Some people were keeping it to hide the fact that they were hurting and the others were like Sabrina. She was showing and indicating to you that she was hurting because her moment with you has been disturbed.'

'Now do you understand how to deal with her jealousy when it occurs again?'

'I am not sure, Mommy but maybe when it happens again, I will know what to do.'

'Go on kiddo, I saw her marching here.'

'Thanks, Daddy. I'm going for a run.'

To be honest it became my hobby on teasing her whenever she was in a foul mood but I can't stay away for too long from her especially when I saw tears in her eyes. When she learned that, a slap landed on my face and she was crying as she run away. I am not sure what I felt there but I am hurt and my feet take me to her. I don't know why but I don't want to make her cry like that.

'I am sorry. I just don't know how to deal with your mood swings lately. Sorry.'

'You don't need to hide. Just be honest with me and tell me about it. Don't run away from me. It hurts that I am the reason why you run. I hate you being away from me.'

'Sorry, please forgive me, Sabi…forgive your Caine, please. I'll do anything just to earn your forgiveness.'

'I don't need anything but all of you beside me. I can't be away from you.'

'Okay, I will stay beside you through and through. Please, ease those tears since they were for nothing. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere but with you.'

Honestly, I am not sure why I saying those words to her but deep inside of me, they were really meant only for her to hear. I really do want her with me and never be parted. I just hope it will last.

March 8

Everything went smoothly, Sabrina and I were totally unspeakable and some visitors took us siblings because of the closeness that we were having. But hearing those words from them, Sabrina glared as if she didn't like them at all until she had enough and correct them.

'CAINE IS MINE AND NOBODY CAN GET HER AWAY FROM ME!'

I was totally stunned like her parents and their visitor because they were talking about how close we are and about introducing me to their sons. But Sabrina hates the idea of me getting close to anyone. I excused myself and I know where to find her - our usual spot in the mansion.

'Sab, can you tell me what happens there?'

'I hate when they think you're my sister or you being paired to their sons or daughters. I hate it.'

'Why? Are you jealous again?'

'When it comes to you, yes, I am got a problem with that?'

'Nope, not at all. But I would like to put your jealousy in the right place. Be jealous only if there is something needed to be jealous about and more importantly, Sab, do you trust me?'

'Why you're asking if I trust you?'

'Do you trust me?'

'I do.'

'Then control your jealousy and only trust me that it will always be you that I am going to choose.'

'Don't say that. I might hold it dearly.'

'Hold it because I'm gonna keep it to my heart.'

'Thank you, for accepting me in your heart, Caine.'

'You deserve it.'

I pulled her into my arms to calm her down and even hummed some melody that echoed through my mind I think the song was called I'll Never Break Your Heart by Backstreet Boys.

'I'll never break your heart

I'll never make you cry

I'd rather die than live without you

I'll give you all of me (give you all of me)

Honey, that's no lie (that's no lie)...'

I even started to sing the chorus of the song without realizing that she already fell asleep in my arms if I didn't check it out.

'You're cute when you sleep in my arms.'

Even though, I do not understand why I choose to hum or sing that song, my heart wanted to let Sabrina know something that I've been feeling deeply in my heart.

'I love you, Sabrina.'

There was something about Sabrina that makes me want to do better and to get up to change my life for the better version of myself. There was also the urge of wanting to give something to her I don't have anything else to give. My heart was aching and screaming to let these feelings out but I don't have any guts to confess in person to her.

'One day I will. When that comes, I hope this bond that we're having won't fade…'

~ + ~

But the sudden dream about what ICE had written in her own journal was being cut when she felt a kiss placed on her temple. For some reason, she found herself smiling as she slowly opened her eyes and just to be welcomed by the person who was still making her heartbeat like a hard drum beat.

"Morning. It seems to me you read what I've left off from your journal." Sabrina was smiling as she greeted ICE morning.

"It's good to be wake up with your lovely smile, Sab." ICE caught Sabrina off guard when she said those words to her.