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The Meme Train

Little thing I decide to write for the fun memes, don't take this way too seriously, if you wanna vote, vote then. Just don't act like an ass. Also the book isn't for anyone of a prudish nature, so yeah, if you are then this ain't your cup of tea, hell it's not even tea, it's a full cup of espresso. Oh yeah, the R-18 tag is there for gore, I don't know know how to write good smut, and I don't plan to write smut in this book any given time. ____________________________________________ Take a look at me for example: I died, that was painful. I got chosen to be entertainment for some dude that I never got to even meet. I cheesed the "golden finger" I got and made an entire world go straight to fuck all. Now I'm just casually being the madman that everyone says I am. Oh, and fuck cultivators. I don't like their kind around here. What do you get? Some random kid being a fucking lunatic that's what! Take a read if you want! You'll definitely regret it! (Disclaimer, I own nothing aside from my MC and any OCs I may cook up, the cover was from google, I just searched Thomas the Thermonuclear Bomb and I found Thomas the Thermonuclear Apocalypse, I came looking for copper and I found gold. Also this is a work of fiction, any names that are placed in here are yadda yadda yadda you know the drill, anything in here is coincidental.)

AntiLoliLewding · Anime und Comics
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325 Chs

Wailing Like the Japanese

/Frank POV/

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(Alright children, we're going on a field trip!) I slammed the door open as Belle and Midoriya were going at it. Yes, I gave him a robo benis, and yes, I make sure that he's not overdoing it. Belle squealed as she covered herself and Deku on the other hand was about to shoot me with the strongest spell his current robo-body could pump out. (Chill chill chill! We don't want this fucking place to get blown the hell up!) I laughed as I was happy that I used the Yamato to get back into Central.

Yep, back in my city of technology and anti-cultivator thought process. We do not show any modicum of respect to these little shits who think they can call themselves God when there's motherfuckers who can genuinely reshape entire Records for shit's sake.

(Oh and get dressed, we're going on a trip to a place called- *joke redacted due to it being a bit, mmmm, yeaaah, no joke this time*) I joked as Belle looked at me with confusion while poor little Izuku still had half a mind to yeet me straight out of the room and go back to fucking his little wife. (Also get Stain as well. This place might or might not have cultivators in it. There's demons and angels and the other like, but don't worry, I took care of those ones. Oh and when the space agencies of this world finally discover that we exist, umm, make sure that they don't go fucking crazy about that shit.) I gave them my final orders, and then slapped one of Deku's fucking tracking seals or whatever the fuck he called them onto my forehead and walked back to Earth using the Yamato.

Yeah, yeah, I guess that was a fun little journey. {Alright then, okay. So, the Greeks? Or the Jade Emperor? Eenie Meanie Miney Moe, which pantheon should I rock up to and fro?} I thought as I changed my face again and made it so that there wasn't going to be that many issues with it. Time for me to take another coin flip, heads for the Greeks, tails for the Chinese.

(A/N: Once again, I actually did a flip, and the answer was what we got. I'm happy to say that Lady Luck my have smiled upon Frank today.)

AND WE GOT THE JADE BOYZ, finally, time to go and meet the MONKE god, Sun Wukong himself. Guy's probably the most respectable god in their pantheon, bar the gods and immortals that aren't assholes. (Come on, come on, WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU GUYS SO DAMN LONG?!) I shouted out loud as I was already in a train station as everyone there was looking at me funny.

{Uuuggggggh, fuck.} I thought again as there was a monk there that was chanting something for some reason as a very familiar portal finally opened up. (Finafuckinglly, you guys are here. We got a job in China and I'm about to make that place know what bleeding is really like.) I told Midoriya who was in a very very good robo-body that had a good chunk of guns on them. (First off, we get on the train, then we go to an airport, and then we start dancing the Macarena and I'm just fucking joshing with you. We fly.) I told him as he didn't really react.

There was a little chip that was placed into his robo-head that connected to Belle, who also had a chip of her own.

(Franku-san, Midoriya said that if we were going to that place, why exactly did you want to bring us along? You're more than capable of killing every god that was there anyways?) she asked the question for Deku as there were already cops and military near us, aiming their weapons at us. (Well we've been doing dumb shit for more than a couple thousand years, but hey, if it ain't broke you don really need to fix it do ya? It'll be fine, you guys all have a good idea of how to kill a cultivator and any possible deities that could be living amongst them. Heh, amongst them, hahahahahahaha.) I laughed at the stupid joke as my sense of humour was a masochist and it loved getting fucked by shit jokes and old memes.

(So yeah. Let's go kill some gods. There's supposedly some Monkey Guy that I wanna try and steal from, he's pretty cool, but he's a little too stupid for my tastes. He doesn't quite fit the squad.) I said as Stain finally came out of the portal as well, popping some of his joints as he groaned. (This better be good I was off having a nice dream about fighting AllMight.) he said as I rolled my eyes and replied (Yes it's good, it's a fucking heist is what it is, mixed with a dash of genocide. We're going to be stealing from a pantheon of cultivators and abduct a bunch of people to take some sort of special soul weapons that they run with.) I gave the guy my as the soldiers around us were still pouring out from god knows where.

They're still trying to make us surrender as I shot a Bolter round through the roof as they heard how big the boom was. (EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AM TRYING TO TALK TO MY FRIENDS HERE.) I told the soldiers with an eye twitch that really hammered the request into them as they were a little more scared now. They knew damn fucking well that we were possibly the biggest fish that could exist within the strange ships that were terrorizing the world.

(Franku-san, Midoriya is asking you if we're going to go now?) Belle spoke up as I took a deep breath and said (Yes, yes we are.) as I then used the Yamato and chauffeured the idiots straight through it and looked at the soldiers as I placed down a beacon for an Eversor to be in this area. Mhm, nothing like some good old fashioned fear and suffering to really make them regret pissing me off again.

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/About a Couple Minutes of Shooting Into the Air and Blasting out Eldritch Energy later/

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(Franku-san, I don't really think that this is working.) Belle said to me as I blinked at her and smiled. (No shit Sherlock.) I gave her an answer as I groaned. (COME THE FUCK DOWN YOU ASSHOLES! OR DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO BLOW YOUR FUCKING COUNTRY THAT YOU SUCK POWER FROM ALL THE WAY UP TO YOU ALL?!) I shouted as another fucking lightning cloud went and showed itself to me as it blasted another bolt, that then hit the same damned lightning rod.

(Really? Just fucking really?! You little pussies, can't you dipshits do more than shoot lightning bolts, or is getting down in the nitty gritty really too beyond you pampy ass fuckheads?!) I kept insulting the lightning cloud as I clicked my tongue. Yes, they knew that we were here, and yes, they're a level of annoyance that I never really thought would be possible. (I swear to God's dead fucking body that I'm going to make them all know what getting a metal dildo up their asses is going to be like.) I grumbled as I sat down on the grounds again as I knew for a damn good fact that I had no fucking clue what shrines were related to which deity in their pantheon.

I only know that there was that one time where Wukong had to perform abortion on a bunch of guys.

I'm not joking, actual men getting pregnant, do I know why? No, no I don't. Do I plan to explain? Absolutely not, since I can't really remember shit from it. {Man this shit's a bust. I try to insult them because they're the prideful bunch, and yet I still have to try and figure out how to get those little shits out of the fucking clouds. I need that access to their Palaces, well, not really need, more of a want actually but you get tth idea that I wanna perform heists.} I thought as I looked above again as the cloud dissipated as I groaned even further.

(Alright gang I have little to no clue if their stupidity is that minimal to the point where they can handle the insults I throw at them. Midoriya, have you finally gotten something to try and break through the barrier of their realm of whatever the fuck it is? If we can't get access to the palaces, the Netherworlds seem like a pretty okay place as well.) I told him as Belle picked up on the message that he was going to answer.

(E-eto, Franku-san, sorry about this. He said that you should shut the fuck up and have some patience, we've only been here for a couple minutes and you've already made things worse by antagonizing another reality's version of cultivators.) she said as I blinked and started to laugh.

(Midoriya, you know damn fucking well that I'm the bad guy here. We gotta flay their fuckin skins off and make it into some good old human leather carpets you know? That shit ain't bad.) I said as another lightning cloud soon came again as I rolled my eyes and waited for the thing to shoot it's load again, and before you all roast me in the comments, no homo.

Except, it didn't shoot anything and it made a hole in the middle of it as I saw a figure with a tail there. {Can it be? Is it truly him?!} I thought as my eyes widened as it flew down, and my disappointment soared to extreme levels.

It wasn't Monke Man, it was just some alligator looking ass dude. (His grace wishes to meet you Slayer. The Jade Emperor's benevolence is unbelievably great to such a dark and twisted being such as yourself but he too sees that there is a chance for you yet.) the alligator talked to me as they noticed that I was looking disappointed. (Ho? Have you seen the errors of your way when you saw this venerable and heard of the benevolence of hi-) and right as he was about to continue talking, I put about three Bolter rounds into his gut as I was just mad.

(WHY CAN'T I SEE MONKE MAN?!) I kept shouting at him, beating him with the butt of the Bolter for every word. (I don't give two shits about Yudi or whatever the fuck your Emperor's name is, I wanted to meet the Big Monke himself. I half-expected it to be him when you were there. But your fucking tail gave it away and it was just disappointing. That guy, Big Monke Man himself? He's one of the few members of your pantheon that I respect enough not immediately kill. He's a damn good guy for going against you, but he's old and weakened. It's sad, trying to go against fate and yet fate already had a self-fixing feature to it for the low low cost of mortal suffering. Me? I'll rip and fucking tear all of your people apart and salt the earth after. There ain't no fucking way I'm going to allow any of you to get out after I steal everything. I need your genetic material as well, and probably some of your men and women for the breeding projects. Yeah, yeah that seems to be a rational enough plan for this don't you think?) I asked the "immortal" as they spat blood out.

(Y-you're mad!) he said as he tried to fly away, but I shot another Bolter round right through his little noggin. (No shit Sheogorath, it's what keeps me still wanting to live.) I said to the dead corpse as I placed it and the alligator's soul into my inventory. (Damned cultivators with their short ass talks and extremely long ass technique names. Fucking multiple damned adjectives just for an overhead swing and a damned crotch kick.) I said as I smiled at the large amount of paper things that were coming out of the clouds. (Welp, time for us to perform another level of slaughter for these fucking "gods" eh lads?) I said as I readied the BFG in my hands as I looked above.

(I suppose so kid.) Stain said as I rolled my eyes knowing damn well that I was older than the dude by a huge margin. (Ready whenever you are Franku-san!) Belle replied as she unsheathed her sword with proper poise. Deku hsd about seven different spells that could yeet things to fucking oblivion as the man made the robot body that he was inhabiting try to crack it's neck, but that didn't work out too well for him.

(HIGH HO CRACKPOTS AWAY!) I said as I charged a shot and blasted it out to the first wave. This was gonna be a fun fight.

2175 words. Hmmmmm, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, well, here we are now again. Anyways and as always, I'll see you guys, on the dank side of the moon! Peace out everybody! Goodbye~

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