287 Killer Whales

(A/N: Mmmm, nyes. We're doing this retardation all over again now baby. Welcome back to the beautiful little shithole otherwise known as this fic. Thank God Almighty that I took the time off to try out the original fiction portion of this site, it's fucking silent if you don't ever try to make anything that the people like.

But once again, like and subscribe gamers, we're back to this madness, except it's not gonna be every other day, but more of twice a week? I think that I could do that? Maybe? I also wanna read as well, so yeah guys. Now, please enjoy.)

I woke up to ash and dust, wiping my ass and slapping my nuts. Just kidding I went out of the ruined fucking Chinese palace that was chockful of dead Chinese Gods. I gotta say though, their fucking pills are the closest things to a half-decent percosset.

Me, Izuku, Belle and Stain had some real fun at destroying these cunts. It's always a good time whenever you get the chance to absolutely wreck some gods and steal some of their shit.

Well, more of the wrecking gods part, since I was the only one within the group that actually had that sort of ability.

(Well gang, we're all looking nice and happy aren't we? We got ourselves some good loot, good fucking up, and in spite of the fact that things aren't exactly all that stellar for us to just up and leave, I'm more than willing to go right now.

Does anyone else have any words, or are we all in accord?)

I was talking while I kept kicking at some dead fairy's body. I'm constantly a little confused about why the word fairy is use so often.

They're not whimsical, they don't have butterfly wings, and they won't detonate a child's testicles just because they didn't eat their God awful porridge from their parents.

It's really disappointing. But this little slaughter? This got a fire in my heart lit the fuck up. I wanna go to a special little world after this one, and after that, I'll be heading over to something much much different.

(Franku-san, I would say that it would be fine with me, but getting rid of some of our technology within this world would also be rather good, no?)

(And once again Deku, your wife helps me out with this shit so much more often. You really need to start stepping up your game when it comes to actually giving ideas.)

Deku being the absolutely well-adjusted individual that he is, simply flips me the bird as he turns to some of the "immortals" trying to fly away, probably to some safe realm or some crap.

(Ah shit, I'll deal with tha-) and right as I was gonna snipe them, Deku just pointed below them as I couldn't help but smile a little bit.

Big fucking Chinese dragon comes up from beneath them and snacks on them.

(Let's just assume that thing isn't gonna be strong enough to kill then and blow it up as well, eh old friend?)

(Oh Deku, you're finally growing into the mold that you fell into. I feel like a proud inebriated grandfather right now.)

I almost sniffled a little as I just pumped God knows how many levels of Power into my Bolter and gunned the giant bitch down.

It was a fucking sight I'll tell you what.

(Alright, have the Daedalus take whatever we could get out of this place that isn't covered in blood or completely worthless. We may have the cultivators, but undeniably using some of the principles that they apply to these runes and arrays aren't half-shit to steal.)

They nodded at my words and left off as I stood right the ruins and drank another can of root beer. They did give a hell of a good fight, don't worry. It's just that having all those withers and clones of me just running about makes things much more hard-pressed for them.

I can almost smell the violence that could be done within the next world. Mmmm, hopefully I don't fuck this one up. Or, wait, oh silly me, all that murder has my brain muddled up. I can't control where I go, that's Anti's job.

{Well, here goes nothing anyways.}

I opened up the system, saw far too many souls and Luck in numerical form and asked for the world shift. Time for the next great big adventure.

The others will bring along those that they consider valuable.

.

.

/3rd POV/

.

.

The smog made things worse again. Suzuki couldn't believe his luck that the filters on his mask were of such low quality when he paid for such a high amount for them.

{Hah~ just my luck eh? It's almost always a real pain in the ass having to get these things, and now they're even worse than normal.}

He did his best to set his thoughts on other things, but the smell was more than enough to start telling him to hurry home. The familiarity with the chemicals. The burn marks on the edges of his mask.

And to top it all off, an empty home, with stale or outright disgusting food. Such was the life that had been alloted to Suzuki Satoru. However, there were a few things that made it worth it.

The first is the feeling of his bed when he's tired and gets knocked out immediately. And the second, is almost the exact reason why he gets up in the morning. Yggdrasil. The game that gave him his connections with his friends.

With people that he could cherish, and care for. People that he considered his family, after all of this time. For Neo-Japan, Suzuki Satoru was nothing more than a low-brow salesman in a shady company, one of the millions of faces that could go missing any given day.

For Yggdrasil, however, Suzuki Satoru was more than that. He was Momonga, Guild Leader of the #1 Heteromorphic PK Guild, Ainz Ooal Gown. That name gave him access to so much, and yet so little at the exact same time.

He could almost remember the first time that he played the game, as a skeleton that had nothing much but a robe and some basic potions.

.

.

/Flashback/

.

.

(Kekeke, oi! We got ourselves another freak that came into our territory!)

One of the humanoid players, an elf, more specifically, called Momonga out as he was simply passing by, taking in the sights for the very first time.

(Must be another weird noobie that thought that Heteromorph races were cool. Ge! It's kinda gross how those guys are.)

{Can't people just enjoy the game? I picked this character all because it was kinda calling to me. After all, there's probably a saying about how white-collar workers are the closest thing to being undead.}

Trying not to pay too much attention to whatever they were saying, he tried to leave but he soon realized that he was going to be PK'ed, over and over again.

(Haaah, what is it with people and constantly trying to PK Heteromorphic players? We don't even have anything against any of you.)

They just laughed at him and raised their weapons, that is, until rustling in the bushes happened as Suzuki looked into it and was made witness to a truly questionable sight.

Out of the bush, a creature made of metal was trying to chase after some boars as it had a jagged and rusted edge for a mouth, eyes of red painted on it and limbs that were sharp and looking very scary.

Needless to say, the story of what happened after is easier to say as snippets.

(Hey! GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING FLESH YOU SUSSY SUS PIGGIES.)

When Suzuki heard what the other player said, he couldn't help but feel his jaw go slack. There was a Gaijin, and he was using very old slang. Very, very old slang. After he saved Suzuki, he met Touch Me, and everyone else.

And the player that was metal soon gave his name. Mekhaine.

(Mekkun! You need to get some of these materials if you want to qualify for the quest!)

(Buku, I need only say this once. Skill issue.)

(Mou~, Touch Me! Momon! Mekkun is still bullying me! He keeps saying words that I don't understand.)

(Buku, Mekhaine-san has a plan in mind that we don't really know about. I'm even certain on the theory of that he's actually a dev in disguise.)

(Buku, if I was actually a dev in disguise, I would've banned all of you and called it in because you guys have the most god awful thought process that I've ever seen.

Chaos is an old friend of mine, and you guys are more than fucking enough to make it scared and ask for a restraining order.)

(Oi! Pero! We need to have talk?)

(Hah? What's wrong Ulbert-san?)

(What do you mean what's wrong? You made the sisters all know how to strip dance, that's what's wrong you idiot!)

(Hmmm? And so?)

(SO? WE MIGHT GET BANNED FOR THIS IDIOT. If not for Mekhaine-san understanding some very specific exploits to ensure that devs wouldn't even be able to see them, Ainz Oaal Gown would be gone!)

(Ack! Sorry about that Ulbert-san! Though you can't deny that things get fixed a lot by Mekhaine-san a lot.)

(That's because he works in a private company as their sole tech department. He keeps telling me about how he's sometimes tempted to just put an IV drip into his veins that's filled with coffee or energy drinks because of the things that he does for the company.)

(....ne, Mekhaine-san?)

(Is there anything up Blue Planet?)

(I need some advi-)

(Aside from a gray sky because of excessive smog? I'm joking, I'm joking, go on.)

(...never mind.)

(BP, I'm serious now, what's the matter?)

(I tried asking this girl out.)

(Ah, rejection?)

(Yeah.)

(I can help you with that, I know a good gal that I could hook you up with, if you wanna?)

(DID I HEAR THE WORDS "GIRL YOU COULD HOOK UP WITH- GACK!)

Peroroncino was then slammed on the head with a shield from Bukubukuchagama as she couldn't help but mutter under breath about how her brother was such a pervert.

(...as I was saying, brother, fish in the ocean are more than aplenty, and luckily for you, I know a real special gal. Good friend of mine in the company. She gets bummed out a lot more often that not because of all of the stress.)

And as those years passed, little did Momonga know that Mekhaine would grow to be one of the most important members of the guild.

Mekhaine became everyone's friend, best man, and person that they could trust. When they heard of the words that the company that he worked for was actually owned by him, and that it was a private military company, they were more than shocked about how it came out.

It came out, because he told them in passing.

(Pfft, please, my company is not that terrible.)

(And how so Mekhaine-san? CEOs and all corporate busybodies are always such a true pain in the ass.)

(Listen Ulbert. I want you to not be so shocked or angered, but I own the company.)

(...what?)

(Yeah, I owned the company. We're PMC. And yes, I worked in the tech department, but I also do work within the other types of departments. I decided on making it since there's barely any fucking safety nowadays.

The cops themselves are already within the hands of other CEOs, so I decided to be a bit more straight to the point. But my company's purpose is more along the lines of protect, rather than to attack.

It's much better to do extractions for people that we get paid to save, rather that subtracting those that we don't ever consider to be all that worth it within the long run.)

(.....that's cold.)

(The world is cold Ulbert, but Yggdrasil makes me a happy man, so even if I had to order the death of a man, I'll do my best to see first why did my client ask for their death in the first place.)

(That sounds an awful lot like an excuse, you do know that?)

(Pfft, of course it does. Everything has a reason, and that's mine. Not solely just some form of excuse to make my bad acts look justified, but reasonable.

Then again, I don't really think that killing a lot of people that were more or less still alive, in the medical sense.)

(Oh yeah, your company was the one that said that they were responsible for closing that human computer ring. Man Mekhaine, why did you kill them? And how did you even find them in the first place.)

(Oh well, a little birdie told me that some of the things that were happening in the underworld weren't exactly what I liked, so I had options and I took the one that I preferred.)

And after all of those years of being together, the guild was a little scared of this idea. The thought that one of their most trusted friends was actually a legal killer who knew the underlying issues within the underworld.

The thought that they were friends with someone who knew how to disassemble and reassemble a weapon within three minutes if it was a pistol, ten for a rifle, and possibly fifteen for a sniper, didn't exactly spark all that much confidence within them.

Except-

(THAT'S SO COOL DUDE!)

Momonga and the others were all shocked at what Pero and Buku just said. Even Mekhaine himself had his metal jaw drop from what he just heard.

(Pero, Buku, I don't know how in God's name you two decided that what I did in real life was any cooler than what you guys have found in this game, but I can assure you, being under threat of death from almost every single government entity isn't exactly the most comfy position.)

(But that's the thing Mekkun! You have guns! And you can go pew pew pew! And then boom bang pow! And and and-)

(And I have to watch the life drain from my men as they get gunned down or shanked by a tango I didn't know was there. Feel the pain of watching their families grieve over them.

Lose the feeling of emotion, to try and not make things worse for me. I gotta be a cold man, because I don't know how do I be a strong man.)

They just mulled over my words as I shook my head.

(Look, Touch Me got the confirmation from his superiors that they have a red fucking sight over my head as of this moment. I won't be able to play the game as often, if that's the case. There's gonna be a war, and not one that I intend to let my friends get right into the complete thick of.

I cherish every single day that we fought alongside each other. The battle against the Rainbow Buddhas, the fucking Demon Lords, all Thirteen of them. The fucking Saints that decided to come down from up on high, and needless to say the Grand Devourer was a hell of a bitch to deal with.

Even that fateful day where we, all of us who are in this room, and some who've already left the guild, fought against the full power of more than a thousand Lvl 100+ enemies with varying styles, races, skills, passives, bullshit and everything.

This, this is a guild of family that doesn't want to deal with the sheer discrimination of the real world, and has the strength to do so in this world. This, is a family that has fangs, and we're damned good at using them.)

When he finally said those words, he gave us all of his items and gear, and said that if we ever needed any help in anything in our lives, we shouldn't be afraid to reach out to him.

And when that happened, everything went downhill quickly. Relationships went bad and sour, members felt like things weren't going anywhere else when it came to the game, and some of them even died, which made everyone even more sad.

Today, is the very last day, and Suzuki was more than saddened to watch the end of the legacy that he and all of his friends had finally created.

He paced the halls of the Tomb, looking at the NPC's standing there, doing the same AFK tasks that he'd allocated them to do, and looked at the throne room.

He met one of the older members earlier, Herohero-san. He was part of Mekhaine-san's company ever since he was invited to work there instead. He was one of the few that still had a relatively stable way to contact Mekhaine. And today, he told him something that shook Suzuki to his very core.

(Oh, Momon!)

(Herohero, how are you, old friend?)

He gave the basic talk with Herohero, ranting about work, joking about old times and having somber moments about the sad ones.

(Momonga, Mekhaine-san is going to be able to stay for the end.)

Suzuki's eyes almost went wide at those words. One of their friends and founders were going to be able to come at the final day of Yggdrasil? That's wonderful.

(But, I can't stay either, the company is finally about to unveil all of the wrongdoings of all of our rivals, and we're finally about to be able to return to the surface.)

And that bit of news tugged at his very own heartstrings. Herohero was a good player, and a great guildmate. It was a true shame that he wouldn't be able to be with them to the very end.

(I see, don't worry. At the very least, you'll be with us spiritually. You're one of Ainz Ooal Gown's, now and forevermore, Herohero. Be proud, as we've all been.)

(Ne~ Momonga, did you stay up late to make that speech? That was pretty cool, hahaha.)

(Kagh! No I didn't!)

(Uwaagh, I didn't know that our guild master had such a knack for giving speeches. I guess working for that company really did have some effect on you, aside from just being tired all of the time.)

They laughed it off as they noticed the time.

(I have to go now, Momonga, it's almost time for us to do it.)

(O-oh, yes, take care old friend. I hope you and Mekhaine-san would be able to come back to the surface.)

After those words, he waited, and waited, and waited. But it felt like it was every other time that he's been there within the Tomb. Waiting on the promises of comrades and friends that moved on even after all of the things that they've done.

He sighed, and went to take the Staff, until he saw something off at the top right corner of his HUD.

[Mekhaine has joined.]