The Lonely and the Diary

The red diary on the table was kept in such a way that it seemed the owner wanted someone to find it. I went to the study table and picked it up. there was a slip on the diary which said, 'Kim Song's Personal Diary'. These words intrigued me. I know reading someone's personal diary is not a good habit but I am Kim Song now, therefore it is technically my diary. I sat on the bed and after wrapping up the blanket around me I opened the diary. This was the only way I could know more about her and not mess things up. I had no other options than to adapt to this situation I am in. The very first page of the diary had a picture. It was a black and white picture pasted to this page and in that photograph, there were 4 people. There was a lady and a man. The man had one arm around the shoulder of the woman and in the other, he held a little girl. Whereas the woman was holding hands with another girl. I presumed it was Kim Song's family. The photograph was beautiful. All of them were smiling and looking happy. The only peculiar thing in this picture was a red circle around the man's face. Kim Song had made a red circle around his face and it didn't give me good vibes. Maybe she never had a good relationship with her dad. I flipped the page and the diary was not dated too old. Song started writing this diary on 8th February 2017, almost a year back. The first page of the diary was Song talking about her life as a trainee and how sacred she is to finally enter the real world of KPOP. So, it was clear that this band did their first debut last year. The heading of the page was 'The Ace: Beginning', which made it clear this was also their debut date. A band this young and already the tension between the band members was suffocating. It is now more important for me to get more information on each member and their relationship with Kim Song.

I flipped through some more pages to find she did have a complicated relationship with everyone around her. Why couldn't God just put my soul into someone amiable? Her parents got divorced when she was 15 and she has a little sister Kim Taegi who is 5 years younger than Song. This diary had no information on the reason for her parent's divorce but I was delighted that she wrote this basic information about herself or else meeting her family would have led to some serious damage. This diary was very detailed. I completed the first 20 pages and then decided to have dinner. I walked out of the room and on the table, there were two packets. One had packets of rameyeon and the other had packed food from some restaurant. I opened the packed food first but the content inside was not desirable at all. It had a variety of seafood and being a vegetarian, the sight and the aura made me sick. I pushed the food away from my sight and pulled out a packet of the noodles. Don't ask me how I know about the procedure of cooking Rameyeon. My best friend is a freaking KPOP fan and she got me well versed with Korean food and culture as well. After cooking these instant noodles, I extinguished my hunger and decided to go back to reading my so-called life's journal. The more I read, the more horrifying reality was getting for me. Kim Song was suffering from anxiety disorder and she was very impulsive. On page 36 I read how she got a liftman fired for not getting the lift down fast. Now this explains those strings of apologies from the liftman earlier. She loved to be in power and she definitely loved the attention. On page 42, dated 13th June 2018 she talked about signing the contract with the company, for dating another KPOP band member for fame. Reading this page was my limit of enduring the blows this psychotic personality was throwing towards me. I was in a relationship, which is fake. How low do you need to get to actually get involved in such scandals? Did she sell her love life for fame?

I was done for the day and I knew I won't be able to continue reading this diary, at least tonight. My destiny did get me entangled into a mess and it won't even send help. I huffed in annoyance and turned the nightlight on and dozed off to sleep. The only perks of this mess was having a comfortable and beautiful apartment and I am not missing out on the good things.

The next morning, I felt something shining brightly on my face which made me cover my eyes. No matter how much I tried to go back to sleep the light was too irritating. I was about to get up annoyed when loud music started to play from the bed. The bed! I jumped out of the bed scared and started to frantically look for the source of the music. The moment I stepped down from the bed, an announcement happened, "Good Morning Miss Song. I hope you have a good day.", said a machine voice and the music stopped playing. The blinds of the window got shut on their own. I was too scared to process anything with logic. My heart was beating at an abnormal speed and I was covered in sweat. What the hell just happened? I was frightened to the core and I sat down on the bed with shaky legs. But the moment my body touched the mattress, the blinds on the window got opened and the music started playing again. scared I again jumped away. This game of frightening me was followed by another announcement, "The alarm will stop after 30 minutes. Till then please don't think about sleeping again.", the very sweet yet annoying machine voice said. An alarm? Who has such a hi-tech alarm, where the blinds open by themselves and the bed starts to sing? What kind of a psychotic personality is this Kim Song? A sane person would just set an alarm on their phone but this insane being needs a singing bed. I sighed and walked out of the room desperately searching for coffee. After a ruined morning all I needed was caffeine to stop my system from shutting down on the floor. Fortunately, the coffee machine was normal and I got my morning coffee without any hi-tech tricks. Sipping on my daily dose of survival I sat on the couch and the file on the table caught my eyes. It was the schedule for the day. Way to ruin my morning more. Can I not just fake my sickness and get a day off? I was thinking about faking it when another announcement happened taking me by surprise. "Congratulations Miss Song, another day waits for you. Your vitals are normal and your heart rate is also normal. You are very healthy to go ahead with the day.", another machine voice said. Are they reading my mind? I was so scared thinking about these machines being able to read my mind that I huddled up onto the couch. The moment I lifted my feet over a sound of a machine shutting down came. Nervously I peeked from above the couch and saw a blue light on the floor. It was more like a marked area. Scared I kept my feet in that blue circle again and the light went green and the same announcement happened. I stepped away from that area and now I was roaming in the house with utmost cautiousness, scared to have another unwanted interaction with Song's stupid machines. What kind of a person is so alone that they need to be surrounded by these many machines? And that is exactly when it hit me, Song was not psychotic, she was alone.