Chapter 32 Lady Ymir 

Lady Ymir… That was a name that she hadn't heard in years, decades if she included the nightmare that was her time as a Titan. She couldn't help the flinch she felt at the name being thrown at her like an accusation, and by people who should have never even heard of it. The sideways glance she sent to Christa confirmed that the girl looked only confused and didn't know anything about what was happening. She hadn't truly believed for a second that she had, but…

Looking back to Captain Levi, the man had been watching her carefully and had clearly seen her recognise the name, removing any doubt he might have had about whatever had led them to corner her here. She thought about transforming, looking down at her hand uncertainly. She could grab Christa and run for it. She was fast, especially in the trees, and she would be more manoeuvrable there than even the fastest Scouts.

Except, they weren't near the forest. The trees that littered the area were spacious enough to allow the Scouts to use their ODM gear effectively, without giving her an advantage of her own. Whether they had known it or not, they had chosen the best possible location to fight her. Then there was Captain Levi's elite team. Gohan's abilities went beyond any normal person, any whatever he had taught the best of the best had only made them stronger.

She was outnumbered, outmatched, and caught in unfavourable terrain. Not to mention…

"What do you want with her?" Ymir was surprised when Christa gripped her hand tight and stepped in front of her, putting the short blonde girl between her and Captain Levi. If he was surprised or concerned, he didn't show it, and Ymir found herself cursing the girls almost suicidal level of selflessness.

"Right now, we're giving her the chance to talk." His hand brushed over the handle of one of his blades in warning. "Whether she does is up to her."

She hardly had much of a choice did she? Any option except peace was dangerously close to suicide. Except she would certainly be able to take a few of them with her. If she were truly an enemy of those within the walls, perhaps that's what she would do. They were already testing her it seemed.

"Are we going to stand out here in the night sky for our little chat?"

Captain Levi and the lady beside him took a few steps backward and motioned towards the doors they had come out from. They kept their eyes trained firmly on the two girls, without even so much as a blink.

"Ymir…?"

Christa's questioning voice came out as little more than a whisper, and she was so nervous that it seemed she'd entirely forgotten she was still holding Ymir's hand. Sadly, Ymir herself was too distracted at the moment to actually enjoy the moment. Instead, Ymir stepped forward and gently pulled Christa along with her, walking towards the nondescript building as instructed.

When they passed by the two Scouts, neither said a word and let them move inside, watching them carefully by silently. When they stepped through the doorway, it turned out that the building was a bar, one that had had all of its furniture rearranged so that there was just a single table in the centre of the room with a few chairs set around.

Inviting was not the word she would have used to describe the bare setting, but it was clear where she was being offered to go. So she did, walking over still holding Christa's hand and taking a seat by her side. Captain Levi and the woman followed inside, as did several of the scouts from outside. She noted much of his elite team was remaining outside however, likely in case she transformed inside the building.

Captain Levi was the only one who sat down. The woman and the other soldiers taking a small perimeter around them. Some of them leaned against the walls or the tables, others pulled out chairs and sat down. Not one of them crossed their arms, or let themselves relax enough that their hands were sat anywhere but near their blades. They were still on edge.

"So. Lady Ymir…" Levi let the soft accusation linger in the air. It was clear he was waiting for her to begin, to offer some kind of explanation and give over information at will.

She kept silent, weighing up what to say and what to keep secret. There was no way they knew everything, if they had then the reaction to everything would have been far more extreme. They didn't know about the rest of the world, but they knew something about her.

"Where did you hear that name? I've not heard it in a while."

Captain Levi drummed his fingers against the table, deciding on whether to answer or not. He would be showing at least part of his hand, but perhaps it would be worth it. He seemed to decide it was as he motioned for the other woman to approach.

"This is Ilse Langner. Ever heard of her?"

Ymir shook her head even as she looked over the woman carefully. She'd definitely never known her aside from occasionally seeing her around in the Scouts, but they did share a bit of a similarity for sure. The name though, it did actually ring a small bell for her, she just couldn't place it.

"Ilse. Aren't you…" Christa cut off nervously as the three of them looked at her before hesitantly continuing. "…aren't you the girl that Gohan rescued? Out in Wall Maria?"

That's right, Ymir remembered now. She had never spoken that much with the tailed boy in the cadets, but she'd had three years of at least passing conversation with the boy. However Gohan's rescue of someone had been spread around in the early days, part of the awe of his survival in Titan territory. Honestly, that had almost made her think he was a Titan shifter.

"You're right, Gohan did rescue me." Ilse answered, throwing a glance to Levi before continuing after he nodded in approval. "Except, before he rescued me, I was almost eaten by a Titan. The only reason he had enough time to save me, was because before the Titan put me in its mouth, it spoke to me."

Christa gasped, but Ymir winced in sadness. She already had an idea of what had happened there. Ilse looked like Ymir, enough so that one might even mistake the two in the right conditions. The Titan had been one of her followers, a believer, turned into a mindless beast that had just enough of a mind to recognise Ymir, or believed it had. For a moment, she did feel guilty. That she had escaped that nightmare before one who had loved and trusted her, and then died without Ymir ever thinking about them.

"We've attempted to recreate that same situation over the years throughout our expeditions. The majority of the time it fails, but sometimes, enough times, it happens again. A Titan dropping to its knees in worship. 'Lady Ymir' they say."

The woman's accusation was clear, but Ymir didn't hear it. Instead, she was watching Christa's reaction from the corner of her eye. Astonishment, confusion, and a questioning gaze sent to Ymir. It almost broke her heart until she truly saw what was in the girls eyes. Not suspicion, or betrayal, instead something closer to curiosity.

Ilse continued. "It took us some time before we found the connection. We almost didn't know to look for it until someone noticed you in graduation, and realised how alike we looked. From there it was a simple matter of looking at your name, details about your past, and realising that a lot of things just didn't add up."

They wouldn't. Ymir didn't have a last name or a home to give, something she'd relied on pretending to be a refugee to cover for her. Only under a suspicious gaze what would normally be brushed off was becoming damning evidence.

"Care to explain?"

Ymir stilled as she thought through her options. She could be honest, except that there was no way to know how they would react. And besides, her gut reaction was to do the opposite. Call it pride or stubbornness, but being cornered and threatened into talking did not make her want to be cooperative.

"Sounds like a hell of a coincidence."

Ilse's eyes narrowed and she slammed her hands down on the table. "Don't you play dumb with us! People have died on these expeditions, hundreds of them. Many of them my friends. We all know you could have damn well done something about that now TALK!"

The anger didn't faze her, she knew it was coming, but Christa tightened her grip in Ymir's hand and squeezed.

"Doesn't sound like much evidence to me. Ymir is a common enough name, and just because we happen to look alike doesn't exactly mean much."

Ymir knew it was bullshit, and Ilse knew it was bullshit. But it was doing the job of what she wanted. Either making them doubt themselves eventually, or give her more to work with.

"We might believe a story like that if you didn't recognise the title of 'Lady Ymir'." Captain Levi looked entirely nonplussed about his comrades outburst aside from a steadying hand on her arm. Ymir cursed herself for letting it slip how he was clearly watching her for any reaction or hesitation. "Now here's the situation. Back at the castle, Commander Erwin will be giving a speech announcing that the Female Titan suspect we captured during the expedition was in fact, Annie Leonhart."

Christa gasped, unable to believe it. Ymir however, already knew. She hadn't seen her during the expedition, but thanks to her inherited memories she already knew the identities of the Warriors. She also wasn't much of an actor, which meant she knew Captain Levi could tell that she wasn't surprised.

"We believe that she had accomplices, among which were Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover. Before we could question them, both have fled. That means our next person of interest is… you."

Left unspoken was that they were clearly not going to be taking any chances. They were correct about the identities of the Warriors which she gave them credit for, but they seemed to believe that she was with them. And she admitted, from what they knew it was certainly a reasonable connection to make. But she wasn't with them. She wasn't with anybody but herself.

"You've had a long time to think about helping us out. Consider this your last chance to do so willingly."

She snarled and stood up, the sound of her chair scraping back quickly overshadowed by the sounds of so many swords being drawn, save for those of Captain Levi as he continued to stare her down. She hadn't forgotten she was surrounded, hadn't forgotten they were fully prepared to kill her, but her anger had also never let her forget that she would never be beholden to someone else's purposes. She lived for herself only.

"Ymir…"

Christa's soft voice whispered up at her. She hadn't even realised the girl was still there holding her hand. That damn martyrdom complex of hers, she was willing to let herself get killed alongside Ymir if that's what it came to.

"Ymir please…"

"I won't be a pawn Christa. I won't."

"Not a pawn." She placed her other hand over Ymir's, holding it gently as she looked her in the eyes. "Who you choose to be. That's what we promised each other that day in the snow."

"Christa." Ymir's voice was tired and bored as she watched the girl drag the unconscious body of Daz on a sled behind her. "Seriously, give it up. This is pointless."

Christa didn't stop, trudging through the snow as she had done ever since the boy had first collapsed, and despite the cloth Ymir had wrapped around her mouth Christa had heard her loud and clear. "No it's not."

"Dumb bastard's got one foot in the grave as it is, nobody to blame but himself if you asked me." She watched as Christa seemed to pointlessly ignore her, lantern hanging over her shoulder as she took step after step. "Should have known how much he could handle before trying to boost his score. Some people just aren't cut out to be soldiers. He'll be long gone by the time you make it to the foot of the mountain, rate we're going we'll be lucky not to join him. It's a zero sum game. Way I see it, we've got two choices; leave Daz to the elements and save our own skin, or die a cosy little trio. What's it gonna be?"

Christa had finally stopped moving. Whether it was the exhaustion of dragging Daz along behind her, or consideration of her words, Ymir wasn't exactly sure as she stopped and breathed deeply. "You left one out. Third option, you're completely wrong. I reach base with plenty of time to save his life and come morning this is all a bad memory. There's no reason for you to stick with me, we'll only slow you down." She turned to look at Ymir with a smile, one almost pleading. Ymir felt her anger rise just looking at it. "You'll make it back a lot faster on your own, Daz and I will be right behind you. Go on ahead."

The mask slid slightly as she turned, revealing the deep sadness that Ymir had always known lay behind it. She watched in silence as Christa continued to trudge on, wading through the deep snow for a few moments before collapsing to the floor, tripping on a hidden rock and too exhausted to walk properly. After but a few moments, she picked herself right back on and carried on walking, Ymir watching her in silence all the while.

After watching the short blonde girl stumble again, Ymir finally sighed and pulled down her face wrap, moving to follow her. "So uh, you got something against asking me for help or what?" Christa said nothing, continuing to move forward even as she huffed from the exertion. "Know what I think? I think saving this moron is the furthest thing from your mind."

Christa stilled. She said nothing even as the tall girl moved up next to her and looked her dead in the eyes.

"You're not worried about Daz, you're just using him as an excuse to die." Ymir accused her, making Christa break her gaze away. "This is how you want your story to end, right? What a shame, here I thought you were the good girl. Of course if you could make it look like you were trying to save his life no-one would be none the wiser. Hey, they'll remember you as a selfless hero, he's a small price to pay right? If you're a selfish bitch."

Christa gasped and spun on the spot, grabbing Ymir by her scarf as she looked up at her desperately. "That's not… I never meant… That's not me." She felt her energy leave her as her arm sagged down. "It's just…"

"I know you." Ymir carried on. "You're the mistresses daughter they sent to disappear. The one neither parent wanted around."

"How did you…?"

"Uh huh. There go any doubts I had. Let's just say I have the knack for being in the wrong place at the right time." Ymir thought back to the day she had overheard the rumour. "Snuck inside a church in the interior once, scrounging around for whatever might keep me alive another week. Quite a story I got treated to. Apparently a high ranking noble produced more heirs than he should have, made his wife quite angry when his mistress was discovered. The wife wanted her dead, but the dad didn't know if he had the stomach. They considered it resolved though when she volunteered for the cadet corps. Don't worry sweetheart, your true identity's safe with me. I haven't told a soul and I don't plan to."

"So was, was your whole reason for joining the cadet corps just to find me? Why would you even care?"

For that, Ymir was silent for a moment as she thought about it. "I don't know, maybe I relate to your struggle."

"So we… have more in common than I thought?"

Ymir pulled back a little uncomfortable. "Well uh, you could say that."

"I'm why you're a soldier?"

"Could be, not positive." This conversation was making Ymir more unsure, something she wasn't used to feeling around Christa. "Uh, actually no."

"So why then? Did you want us to become friends?" Ymir blushed. Friends hadn't been something she'd had in mind for quite some time since meeting the girl, and she did not like how vulnerable it made her feel. She rounded on Christa. "Ha, you have got to be joking. The only thing we have in common is a second chance. Look, don't try to read anything else into it. Unlike you I embrace the name I was born with. If I throw it away and reject who I am then they win, I intend to live my life, make my name mean something. Trust me, there's no revenge in the world sweeter than that. Look at yourself Christa, or whoever you are. You've been a victim all your life and how do you get your revenge? By becoming your own victim? Screw you and your death wish, if you kill yourself you'll be doing exactly what they want."

"I… that's not how… I just…" Christa had no defence. Ymir was right, she was letting herself be a victim. But she'd thought that if her death had meant something, maybe that would have made things right. What other choice was there? "I didn't mean to get us into this and now there's nothing we can do."

Someone cleared their throat, and the two rounded in surprise to see another person standing there sheepishly.

"Gohan? When did you get here!?" It came out far more accusatory than perhaps Ymir should have said it, but the surprise at seeing him there and with the two of them having shared such private information she couldn't help but feel like her privacy had been violated.

"Just a few moments ago hehe." He rubbed the back of his head in apology. "Uh, definitely didn't hear anything I wasn't supposed to."

He had, and Ymir's eyes narrowed in anger. "What the hell are you even doing here?"

He moved over to them, walking past Ymir and towards the immobile form of Daz. "I heard that you three hadn't come back yet, so I went out to look for you." When he reached Daz he bent down and checked on the boys vitals.

"That doesn't make sense. There's a million different places we could have been, and this is a blizzard." She stepped forwards, eyes narrowed in accusation as the holes in his explanation became clearer.

He shrugged unconvincingly. "I've spent time in the wilderness before and such, just got lucky I guess." He reached down and pulled Daz onto his shoulders, there was no sign it took any effort for him to do it even though it really should have. Even Reiner would have made some kind of noise. "Come on, if we head down this short hill we can make it there much faster."

He moved past them and towards the edge overlooking towards the base. It was a bit of a steep drop, and one Ymir had planned to transform for going down, but theoretically possible. He paused before he went down though, turning briefly to look back at the two of them. "About what you were saying… um, not that I heard anything of course, but… Christa, you did a good thing today. Whatever your reasons for it, you were good. I won't tell you how you should live your life, that's something for you to decide. If you choose to be a good person, you can be one. But, please don't choose to throw away your life, you can do so much."

Christa was silent, not sure of what to say back to him. Gohan didn't need an answer though, he was giving her something to think about and so he turned to Ymir instead. "Ymir, you're a good person as well."

That had Ymir raising an eyebrow in confusion. The hell had she done? As if he could read the question on her face, Gohan answered. "You could have left the two of them, but you didn't. You stayed and helped. Maybe you had other reasons for doing it, I don't know. But I think if you wanted, you could choose to be a good person as well."

He flashed her a smile and hopped off the edge. Ymir and Christa raced forwards as he disappeared out of view, finally catching sight of him again when they reached the edge. He was sliding down the snow like it was the easiest thing in the world, hopping from rock to rock when he encountered them.

Ymir didn't find it in herself to be impressed by his skills, too distracted by what he had said. She could choose to be who she wanted to be. When she had been called Lady Ymir, she had chosen to continue that title in defiance when discovered and subsequently paid the price. But it was one she had chosen to pay, one of the few choices she had made of her own free will.

How much had she chosen since then?

She looked over at Christa. That was something she had chosen, she'd chosen to join the Scouts, she'd chosen to find the girl. What would she choose next?

"Christa." The girl turned to look at her, and Ymir found herself hesitating. "…Christa. One day, I want you to choose who you are going to be. When you do that… so will I."

She hesitated, and Ymir almost thought she could see a small tear coming into her eyes and giving them a sparkle that was so cute her knees almost went weak.

"Okay then. It's a promise."

"A promise." Ymir sighed as she held Christa's hand. The young girl squeezed it tight and looked her dead in the eyes.

"I am… Historia." The breath slowly left Ymir as she looked down at the girl. There was an almost immediate transformation as she watched the last vestiges of the mask slip away. So much of her was different, and yet she wasn't. She was a sad and lonely girl, and not one who was the kind and caring girl she had presented herself as. But she was a girl, who wanted to be that person.

Ymir decided, that she wanted to be that person too.

Spinning on her heels, she stepped over towards the table, and slowly sat down in the chair once more as Historia took her place beside her. If Captain Levi wanted to say anything, he kept himself quiet and waited for her to speak first. Which she was thankful for, as this was a hard enough step to make without receiving any snide remark.

This wasn't just a choice to help the Eldians in the walls, this was to change her entire position. She would never be able to go back to who she was, as an outsider who wasn't so crucial to the military. If they didn't decide to lock her up out of fear, she would be interrogated for every drop of information she could give. Her own free will gone.

But she would be the person she wanted to be for Historia, and for herself.

"Five years ago, I was a Titan..."

"Annie is a traitor?" Despite how many times the words had slipped from his mouth, Jean still couldn't believe it.

The announcement had finished a short while ago, telling those in the Scout Regiment who were outside of the inner circle about the results of their expedition. Any sense of pride from victory was squashed into oblivion by the sense of betrayal and rage Jean felt at the information.

"Annie is a traitor."

"Not just her." Sasha reminded him, stood in the same sense of disbelief as him. "Reiner and Bertholdt too."

"I don't understand…" Hannah muttered. Like always she was stood hand in hand with her boyfriend, only this time she looked like she needed Franz' support far more than normal. "They were our comrades…"

"Annie saved me in Trost." Jean felt the eyes look over to him, though he saw nothing but the ground he stared at in disbelief. "During the reclamation operation, my gear malfunctioned. I was almost eaten by a Titan, but she helped get me out of there."

Connie nodded in remembrance. "I remember. There wasn't even any hesitation from her, she just jumped right in and… why? If she was a traitor, why help us, why be our friend?"

"All the better to stab us in the back." Mina growled, her fury open and hot. "No-one suspected her of a thing, probably just the way she wanted it."

Annie had very few of what people called friends, but among them she was perhaps the closest to Mina. The girl had managed to thaw her icy exterior over their years in the cadets to the extent that they were if not proper friends, better than acquaintances. And all of it, had been a lie.

"Reiner helped me carry supplies." Armin thought back to their days together in the Cadets. "He pushed me on when I struggled with the runs. He picked me up so many times when I fell."

Sasha nodded and chimed in. "Bertholdt helped me with my classes. When I struggled with assignments, he'd be able to help. I mean, if I couldn't find you Armin, hehe…"

The attempt at humour fell on deaf ears, but the others did appreciate the effort. None of the cadets had had an easy life. Whether it was their hardships in the cadets, or life before, but none had felt a pain from a betrayal like this.

"My grandfather died in the attempt to reclaim Wall Maria." Armin clenched a fist with an anger he didn't know he had. "My grandfather, and a quarter million others. All sent to their death, because Reiner and Bertholdt broke through the wall."

Armin was one of the few who had actually been from Shiganshina, and still lived to escape. He remembered the moment he'd seen the Colossal Titan appear with his head looming over the wall, Bertholdt looking down at them. Then he'd killed, so many.

He remembered the sight of when Reiner had broken through Shiganshina's inner gate. The way he'd stood with steam pouring off of him. How he'd just sentenced hundreds of thousands of people to death.

And then, the three of them all had snuck into Wall Rose. Pretended to be victims of their own destruction, and lied to them for years.

"You lot are from the 104th Cadet Corps right?" The voice came from an officer that had come over without their noticing. "You're wanted for questioning about the suspects. We'll take you one at a time, does anyone want to go first?"

Mina stood up immediately. "I will sir, Mina Carolina."

The man nodded and motioned for her to follow, the others let her move past without a word. They would all have their chance, and they would all answer any question they could. But they knew the number one question they would be asked, and it was one they were already asking themselves.

Why did she do it?

Ilse stepped outside into the cool night air, and almost vomited. The information that Ymir had finally decided to give them was such a shock to the system that she didn't know what to feel. Anger? She certainly felt a lot of that. Disgust? That too. But beyond it all, was a sense of almost hopelessness.

She moved out of view of the doorway and slid down against the wall of the bar, her body too weak to keep herself standing.

All these years, she'd been killing humans. Trapped, tortured humans. Except not just normal humans, Eldians. There was a whole world out there filled with people who were apparently different to her in ways she didn't even understand, and yet those people had unleashed a genocide upon their nation. All her life she and everyone else had thought they were the last of humanity, the final vestiges of human life struggling against an unknowable monster. Except they weren't, it was all a lie.

Humanity wasn't extinct, and they weren't fighting monsters beyond comprehension. They were just one small part of the world, fighting against other humans, who transformed and used her people as tools of murder.

She finally leaned over and puked.

She knew she should have held it together better than that. Not only as she was a senior now, and many people looked up to her, but those on the perimeter didn't know the truth yet. Some looked at her in concern, and one began to make their way over to help, but she motioned for him to stop. They would find out in time, everyone here was trusted well and would need to be informed and sworn to silence before the day was out.

She continued to sit still after wiping her mouth. The taste was still there, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. A steadily building feeling of dread began to wash over her. What were they going to do? There was an entire world out there, far larger and far more advanced that had been waging war on them using outcasts turned into Titans, and a handful of children. If they ever retook wall Maria, it would mean so little against an enemy so large and so willing to wipe them out.

Floorboards creaked as footsteps reached her side. Looking up she saw the ever unreadable face of Captain Levi looking down at her. With a sigh, she forced herself to stand up straight and face him.

"Apologies sir. Just needed some air."

"Clearly." He held out a waterskin for her to take without judgement, then joined her by the wall as she drank. "We're taking a small break to process things and make sure we've noted everything correctly. This is a treasure trove of intelligence that is going to change everything…"

Ilse looked at him and saw the mask slip somewhat. Despite saying them, it was as if the words had come from someone else. His mind so distant and separate from what was currently at hand. "That's not what you're thinking about though, is it sir?"

He didn't turn to look at her, and for a moment she felt she may have overstepped a line, but eventually he nodded. "Humanity's strongest soldier they called me, nothing but a lie. There's a world out there filled with humans, maybe even more people like Son, and all the time I spent fighting Titans. I was killing… innocent people."

That was right, Levi had perhaps the highest Titan kill count of any human in history. He above all shouldered the most blood on his hands.

"A nightmare." She whispered. "That was how she described it. Sixty years of hell…"

Captain Levi silently agreed, remembering the way the girl had briefly described it. She'd been uncomfortable to describe it, but having Christa there with her seemed to help. Or Historia, as she was apparently called. That was something else he would have to take note of in case it became relevant later. It seemed unlikely, given all that had been revealed.

"Maybe in time I'll see it as a mercy, but for now…"

She'd never seen the Captain look uncomfortable, nor so vulnerable. He hid it away quickly though, and returned to standing up straighter.

"Enjoy the fresh air if you need to, but come inside when you're ready. We're not done yet."

That's right, they weren't. He turned and walked back inside while Ilse continued to think. So much they never knew, revealed, and yet there was still so much to learn. Not only from everything else that Ymir had to share, but even things the woman didn't know. There was also going to be the decision of what would happen with their captured Titan Shifter now.

But that was a decision for the commander and the rest of the military, not for her. And so, she steeled herself, and heading back inside for more revelations.