Chapter 83: Professor Hamershal

Teachers Lounge, Hogwarts, Wizarding World...

The last thing a groggy Severus Snape wanted to see when he ventured into the teachers lounge had been the smiling face of none other than Jarvis Hamershal. The bumbling idiot had the nerve to be bright eyed and happy to be awake at the most ungodly of hours in preparation to teach various groups ranging from crying homesick sods to hormonal teenagers desperate for a shag. The Potions Master ignored the fool as he tried in vain to get his attention. Snape made his way over toward the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. About a minute or two later Lupin came by.

"Hello Professor Lupin." said Jarvis with a pleasant smile.

"Morning Jarvis." said the werewolf smiling back as he grabbed a cup and poured himself some coffee. "Having a bit of fun with your big brother?"

Snape glared murderously at The Defense Against The Dark Arts professor.

"Flubber worm puss." said the Potions Professor sipping his coffee as his obsidian eyes glinted in mischief.

Lupin's eyes widened a bit before he smirked and offered a retort.

"You wouldn't." said Lupin.

Snape smirked still sipping his coffee.

"Wouldn't I?" asked the raven haired wizard.

Lupin thought for a moment then offered another retort.

"Hermione Granger." he said.

Snape seem unimpressed.

"Botbeetle piss." he said.

Lupin turned his attention back to his coffee and stepped away from the two wizards. Flubber worm puss he could take making his Wolfsbane potion bitter and not affecting it's usefulness, but Botbeetle piss was another story. Leave it to Snape to invent new ways to torture the poor werewolf wizard without damaging the potion.

"And I thought Voldemort was cruel." said Lupin taking a seat in one of the empty chairs.

"The dark lord was never head of Slytherin." said Snape finishing off his coffee.

Jarvis shook his head. His older half brother was quite a strange wizard. If he treated those he considered to be friends in this manner then there was still a chance to get on his good side. The younger wizard didn't stay consumed by his thoughts for long as Snape quickly turned his attention to him.

"Why the hell are you here?" he asked annoyed.

Before Jarvis could open his mouth Dumbledore stepped into the lounge followed by Hermione and Minerva.

"I invited him of course." said the older wizard with a pleasant smile.

Snape rolled his eyes.

"Someone is cranky this morning." said Minerva as she made her way toward the coffee.

"Bite me old hag." snapped Snape more annoyed than usual.

"This coming from the wizard who makes a Muggle hermit look clean?" asked Minerva. "I'd hex you, but I'm afraid I'll soil my wand."

"Take your best shot." taunted Snape.

"Is that a challenge?" asked Minerva with an arched eyebrow. "I seem to recall being the one to run your ghastly pale behind out of Hogwarts once before."

"If I had not been following a carefully paced plan, I would have run you up a tree...like all the other cats." said Snape.

"Ferret guardian." she said.

"Weasel keeper." he replied.

"Did you shed your scales yet snake?" she asked.

"Did you change your litter box kitty?" he asked.

"Sebastian." she said.

"Mildred." he replied.

Everyone present stopped and stared at the Transfigurations Professor.

"You're middle name is Mildred?" asked Lupin.

Minerva had been about to retort when Snape chimed in.

"You lose old woman, you buy the drinks." he said with a wicked smirk.

Minerva narrowed her eyes at him.

"Slytherin grease monkey." she said.

Snape continued to smirk wickedly.

"Nice try witch, but you've already lost the game." he said.

"I demand a rematch." she replied.

"Of course you know you could try and recover your damaged Gryffindor pride." said Snape.

Hermione shook her head. This was going to be another long night.

"You're on." said Minerva her dark eyes glinting at the prospect of yet another challenge.

Jarvis shook his head.

"Don't worry about them my boy." said Dumbledore with a grin. "They've been at this for years."

"This is normal?" asked Jarvis with a raised eyebrow of his own.

"What passes for normal anyway." replied Hermione. "What are you doing here?"

"Yes." said Snape turning his attention back to Jarvis. "What are you doing here?"

"That will be addressed in the announcement I have to make in the great hall." replied Dumbledore.

He put a hand on Jarvis' shoulder and guided him toward the exit in a bid to avoid further questions.

"So it begins." said Snape raising his coffee mug only to realize there was no coffee left in it.

Hermione smiled and poured him another cup.

"Well good morning to you too grouch." she said.

"Morning's only good because Minerva owes me drinks later." replied Snape. "Any merit it had Jarvis ruined by breathing."

"Severus." said Hermione smacking him across the chest.

"What?" he asked. "After all he's done you expect me to forgive him?"

The three Gryffindors shook their heads.

"You really are hopeless Slytherin." said Lupin.

"I think botbeetle piss would go great in your Wolfsbane potion." replied Snape.

"Sometimes I hate you." said Lupin.

"What a coincidence, I hate you all the time." replied Snape.

Lupin rolled his eyes.

"And here I thought you getting laid on a regular basis would make you mellow." he said before he walked out.

"Who said I was getting laid on a regular basis?" asked Snape just before he disappeared into the corridor.

Hermione's amber eyes locked on to him.

{"You are getting laid on a regular basis and you know it Slytherin git."} she said.

{He doesn't need to know that.} he replied. {I do have a reputation to up hold and you might want to think of yours as well Gryffindor Princess.}

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You really are a git." she said.

"You forgot Slytherin." he replied.

The bushy haired witch made her way over toward him and they proceeded to loves themselves in the passion of their shared kiss. They had all but forgotten where they were when Minerva McGonagall cleared her throat. Hermione blushed and Snape insisted on pressing her body into his despite the sound interruption from his colleague.

"I say we skip breakfast." he said seductively into her ear.

"You do that and Albus will have your ghastly pale hide." said Minerva.

Snape flashed her a mischievous grin.

"Still here old crone?" he asked. "Don't you have some Galleons to collect?"

Minerva narrowed her eyes at the raven haired wizard.

"You are very fortunate that I cannot hex you with Miss Granger standing so close to you." she said in a dangerous tone.

"Human shield I like it." said Snape pressing Hermione closer.

Minerva took her leave knowing all too well just how vindictive and randy Snape could be.

"Alone at last." he said still kissing his bushy haired witch.

He had not been kidding about wanting to skip out on breakfast.

"We have to get to the great hall." she said. "Dumbledore's announcement..."

"Sod Dumbledore." said Snape still kissing the witch in his grasp. "I have my own plans for the morning witch and they involve you, me and the darkness of my quarters."

"We're going to breakfast wither you like it or not." she said. "besides I am curious as to what's going on with Jarvis."

Snape rolled his eyes at the mention of his younger half-brother. Hermione managed to pull away and head out the door leaving Snape frustrated and certainly not in a very good mood.

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The Great Hall, Hogwarts...

Snape sat with a bitterly annoyed expression on his face with the rest of the staff. He had hated having to ignore the almost painful erection within his trousers just to hear an old man speak about something he knew for sure he wasn't going to like and the fact that it had to do with Jarvis did not make it any better.

He ignored all the usual drivel that came out of Dumbledore's mouth and sifted through the announcements that held no appeal for him but then he heard Dumbledore call Jarvis' name and present him to the entire hall.

"As you well know, Jarvis Hamershal was a former student here at Hogwarts." said the old wizard with a pleasant smile. "I am pleased to announce that he will be joining the staff as your new Duel instructor, he will be assisted by none other than Professor Severus Snape whom, incidentally, happens to be his older brother."

Snape was hit with instant fury as students turned to one another buzzing with gossip and conversation.

The other staff members had been stunned that such a handsome young wizard was the brother of one snarky and reserved Severus Snape.

"You cannot be serious." said Snape aloud.

Everyone fell silent as the Potions Professor got to his feet and walked over toward Jarvis and Dumbledore.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" asked the irate Potions Professor glaring murderously at his brother.

"Surprise Sev, were going to be colleagues." said Jarvis with a pleasant smile.

Against all reason and better judgement he actually hugged his fuming elder half brother in front of the entire school. Snape's magic started radiating off him in waves.

"EXPELLIAMUS!" shouted Snape irate.

The next thing Jarvis Hamershal knew, he had gone flying across the room and found himself plastered against the empty wall. The Great hall let out a gasp unsure wither they wished to continue speaking as it obviously annoyed the irate Professor further.

"Severus." said Dumbledore stunned by the display.

"You had no right." said Snape bitterly.

Snape left the hall as the rage continued to build in him. All thoughts of a pleasant interlude with Hermione had vanished as he briskly made his way out of the front door and into the grounds. Jarvis managed to get to his feet despite the pain and addressed the hall before Dumbledore could.

"Well how did you like the demonstration?" he asked. "I know my brother can be a tad moody and he certainly does have a flare for the dramatic but rest assured I am well verse in the art of dueling."

The students couldn't believe what they were hearing and clapped for the new and exciting Professor. Having met the students approval Jarvis turned his attention to Dumbledore who saw him wince only slightly.

"I'd say I am lucky he didn't break more than two ribs this time." said the young wizard.

"He's attacked you before?" asked the headmaster further stunned by this news.

"I-I sort of attacked him when we were children...his back was turned and he hasn't trusted me ever since." said Jarvis looking down at the floor. "I'm not proud of what I did, but I am hoping we can get passed all of this...I'd really like to know my older brother."

Dumbledore nodded and flashed the young wizard a pleasant smile.

"Well, Hogwarts is happy to have you." he said.

"Thanks." said Jarvis.

The other staff members got up from their seats to shake his hand, well all except Hermione who had not forgotten how Jarvis had tried to hurt Severus after their first duel nor did she forget his hand in the Rita Skeeter issue.

"Hello Jarvis." she said.

"Hello Hermione." replied the younger wizard. "Some display huh?"

Hermione folded her arms across her chest.

"I'll say." she replied. "He doesn't like to be called Sev."

"What?" asked Jarvis not sure he heard her right.

"He doesn't like to be called Sev." said Hermione. "If you are going to teach here and he has to be forced to work with you, you are never to call him that again."

Jarvis had not known why this was such an issue but agreed. The less he did to aggravate Snape the better. Hermione made it clear that she was not interested in being friends with Jarvis any more than Severus had been. She remained polite none the less and when everything died down she left the hall in search of her now very furious boyfriend.

A part of her wished she had taken him up on his offer to skip breakfast.

Meanwhile the rest of Hogwarts continued to congratulate Professor Hamershal on his new position.