Confession

Michael lied in the bed hugging the bolster under the blanket with his eyes closed, the previous month he never had hard time to sleep unlike how it is before he got the ability to enter the grey world, before that he always have a hard time sleeping and he thought of things he usually didn't like how bad his personality is, how bad he is as a person, how he could have tried harder, how he could have not given up, how he could have a better life, most of the time he thought of negative things about himself, getting sad and regretting things.

Just like tonight, somehow sleep doesn't come easily like how it have been for the previous month, since that elf he was about to summon is from hentai, he thought about it and then countless negatives and regret come into him like, 'I regret ever watching hentai and reading hentai manga or even porn' it was still just a regret. ' I want to forget about those bad hentai manga' what did Michael mean by 'bad' hentai manga, well it was a hentai manga where it is a parody of an anime or manga or any kind of story or in the hentai itself is told an original story where there is a lover that probably swore to love each other eternally or similar thing then the hentai artist decided to have someone fuck the girl (yeah, mostly the girl) and with drugs, hypnosis, or pure drugs or perhaps they kidnap her and with a long term sex with big dick she got returned to her lover, which then for some reason the lover will be made with a small dick which made the girl go back to the 'bad' guys.

As for why it is bad, because of that he can't enjoy anime like how he used to be, like for example there is a scene where the Male Lead and Female Lead swear an eternal love vow, Michael he just spontaneously imagined how some person will kidnap the Female Lead and drugs her until she forgot the Male Lead and it make his heart aches, then in the school, in the class for some reason if the teacher is a pretty woman he couldn't help but to Imaginate that teacher having sex or perhaps some other girl classmate and This! This thing what made him unable to properly interact with his classmate.

Michael is also aware perhaps if it was another person, they wouldn't have such a dirty mind and it was all his own fault that why the hatred is soon redirected to himself but of course he still hates that kind of hentai. After several self-abuse on mental level , he feel asleep with his eye wet with tears.

Michael opened his eyes gazing at the empty grey world before the red-haired elf girl and she looked at him and said "Hello, boy, do you want a go again?"

Somehow, she is still naked and jumped lightly toward him, all the sudden a red one piece that fit her hair color appeared around her body, while she was in wonder Michael spoke up "Umm… can I just hug you for a while?"

That question somehow seems out of nowhere and it is but for some reason she complied with it like most characters he summoned as long as it isn't to excessive that is.

So she did it, she sat on the ground with her back on Michael's chest while using her arms to make Michael's arms warped around her while she snuggled on it, well the movement she made indeed aroused Michael who have a little close contact to woman or girls but his arousal died down a little as he began to talk.

At first, he planned to talk about how he never had experience with girls or so, well about himself, now? It is still about himself but the part is different, he speaks about the thoughts inside his head when he is about to sleep. Michael talked about how bad those hentai is and how much he hated it but in the end he admitted it is indeed a matter of taste, then he complained all about how those hentai have been badly influencing himself but in the end he admitted that the problem have the root with him, he talked about how those 'friends' of him leaked his secret that he didn't even told them but he then again admitted that the problem is that he didn't have a good enough eye for a friend, he talked about how he childish he is ....

The whole time she indeed listened and consoled Michael by rubbing his arm or palm with her calming him down, somehow even with her cute loli body, she felt like a mature lady that is full of experience, well it was to be expected she is the oldest elf in that hentai village, at that time Michael finally got to know how those characters felt when they met a loli baba.

In the end after all of that, Michael said the last thing he wanted to say to her, maybe she didn't care but to him, it was an important first time that he want to save for someone that he truly love perhaps this kind of old thinking is what making him unable to accept those cheating in hentai manga, 'Stop! Stop! You are diverting yourself from the topic.' Michael reminded himself.

"You see, I know that you probably cared more about your tribe than anything but you see that time is my first time, to me it was very important, I… don't blame you after all I am the one getting the benefit, Huh… Human is a complicated creature after all. So perhaps you think nothing about that and you didn't really care about that but it always have been inside my mind, despite how I looked I actually hoped for a fateful encounter that will lead me to a girl who understand me and we will built our feelings with time, then have sex at some time, then get married, and she will never cheat on me, I know that is an unlikely dream especially the part where she will never cheat on me or my first girlfriend would marry me, despite that I hoped for that because I know and think I am socially a little… yes just a little socially incapable." Michael took a breath after blabbering for so long.

And he continued "Maybe we could have gotten to know each other better but based on what I know you wouldn't like that, you would like to go back to your village, ah, you don't have to answer it now, you see I always think that I will never ever got a lover or even a chance for it because my idealistic image and how inadequate I am, and every time I even remember that fact my heart hurts maybe it's because I am still a youth, well-" Michael was about to continue but he was but of by the soft palm that is cupping his head.

"So basically, you though your virginity as something quite precious and wanted to give it to your lover, even though there is no evidence that you are not a virgin anymore but based on what you know of me, you think I wouldn't be an idealistic lover right, how cute~" she said as she turned around and leaned more to Michael "What a cute boy you are~ it is a 'pure' thought but…" she trailed off and continued as she leaned more toward Michael's face "since it's already done why don't we do it again~" and she pounce upon Michael and deep kissed him with her tongue twisting around Michael's.

And at that moment Michael finally knew how those woman or girls who is seduced by other man felt even though he himself didn't have a lover and his heart ached because he is about to do the same because he knew he wouldn't even able to resist just like how he couldn't resist going back to search for more hentai to fap, of course no NTR or cheating tag, and tears polled in his eyes.

The red-haired elf noticed and leaned backward, patting Michael's head changing her mode from a seducing one to a motherly one "What's wrong did you really hated it, I am sorry I thought you will like it."

"No, that's not it, I just felt sad realizing that I am acting similar to those that is cheating, those who I hated." Michael said.

The red haired elf seems to be very good at reading the mood or reading a person so she continued to passionately kiss Michael while striping Michael and Michael striped her too, Michael then realized another thing about why he is a little… socially incapable, he is not good at reading the mood.

And so the grey world is filled with another grayish liquid, moans, and sweats.