The Way Home

We'd picked Adora up at around noon. I found driving shotgun diffecult, I hadn't done that in a while. I had to command Matthias wether and where to turn right or left and I had to do it on-time otherwise he'd turn into an impossibly angry German man. That someone could totally flip out and then be calm as a baby a second later was new to me. It was funny and also wasn't.

I'd thought Adora would surely pack many things but she just had a duffelbag. The clothes she wore were more than appropriate for farming they were also suited for it. She wasn't loud or annoying on the car ride, she just sat in the back and looked out the window and once in a while she'd lean forwards and peck Matthias on the cheek. I'd woken up briefly last night and heard a key in the door, and by the way both were glowing I guessed they'd done it. I smiled a little bit to myself. Kids. 

Our mood rose as we got closer to the farm. Matthias started to joke, Adora got chattier and I started to whistle a tune my good ol'uncle had used to sing. 

We pulled into the driveway, leaving a cloud of dust whirled up behind us. I got out first, the two lovebirds joined me. I felt like a real cowboy for a second. Abby peeked out from the door and squealed as she saw me, she turned around and shouted something into the kitchen then she ran out to greet us. 

"You came back!" She said and hugged me. "And you brought her back?" She asked, nodding at Adora. Matthias eyes me suspiciously, I laughed and shook my head.

"The woman I wanted to fetch was dead. But I found these two on the way and I figured they could be useful. Abby, that's Matthias and this is Adora." I introduced them and they shook hands. 

"I'm sorry to here that." Abby said to me. "I knew she meant a lot to you." 

"And I meant a lot to her." I added darkly. "She killed herself." Adora and Matthias looked away. I'd never told them why I was back in the city, and I don't think they were prepared for it. Abby smiled and took my hand. She was mathamatical, she'd probably thought the woman to be dead when I left. 

"I'll help you in the kitchen today, Abby. Ya'll can come with us. You don't have to work today." I said cheerfully and led them into our house. I showed them to the kitchen where they sat at the small table. We fed them some bread and made coffee from sheeps milk. After only half an hour of sitting and chatting with us as we cut vegetables Matthis stood up and said he'd get our fridge up and running and Adora offered to help peel potatoes. They were both helpfull and hardworking; the kind of people you need on a farm. 

I showed Matthias where the boiler room was, where the electrical things were and so on, but he seemed to know where and what it all was much better than me which made me laugh. I'd never understood eletronics and electricity. I wasn't the man for connecting cables, I liked numbers. Matthias seemed happy to do the work but grumbled about how badly the cables had been laid and how something like this could and would never happen in Germany. 

I returned to the kitchen where Abby and Adora were whispering and giggling, probably about Ryan and Matthias. I threw a potatoe peel at the two of them and told them to get back to work. But my warning was playfull.

I spent the rest of the evening ignoring the weeping child inside of me, procrastinating more grieving for Joline and trying hard to live in the moment. And I found it got easier every minute. And every day afterwards. 

The only times I felt haunted were at night. Sometimes I'd hear her, I'd see her and once in a while I'd feel her touch. It scared me enough to have me pacing down the hallway; where Abby would find me and invite me to stay with her for the night. "So motherly for a mathematician." I'd said which had made her laugh. She'd hugged me and asked if I wanted to talk. I'd shaken my head and said no giving no explaination. She understood, I was just sad. There was nothing to do about it. Grief needs to be lived. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Matthias managed to build something that I don't understand to this day; it generates power; our fridge was up and running. He gave us the choice of elecricity for lights, but we refused. I told him we might go back on his offer when the days became shorter in the winter. In truth I didn't want to make him do everything now and get bored later on. 

Our life changed for the better...and slowly I began to realize that with Matthias help we might be able to rebuild a radio, one that might connect with other peoples: Matthias couldn't be the only one capable of such things...