Forgotten

It's been so long since I'm writing You this,

I think I've forgotten the taste of this unique transcendental bliss

I think I've forgotten what it feels like to miss

Your existence

And call out to You in my heart,

I've forgotten how to live amid Your divine kiss.

Why did I end up like this?

Perhaps it was my own greed.

I've been selfish and stubborn enough

To run after mirage after mirage of treat,

Forgetting all about Your divine bliss.

Now that I look around,

I'm ashamed to find myself in such a filth,

That I continuously rub against my heart again and again,

Torturing myself to death,

Since I've forgotten about Your sweet lotus feet.

I'd give up a hundred lives,

Filled with materialistic bliss,

Just for that one tiny memory that I've forgotten

Of Your transcendental kiss.

Days and months passed by just like seasons,

But I stubbornly keep surrounding myself with filth,

Why won't I take a step outside this mud?

I don't know,

But this innate desire to remember what I've forgotten,

Is still forcing me to stop and hesitate—

I'd like to remember the forgotten bliss.

What do I do?

I don't seem to crawl and find my way back to Your lotus feet.

I just have one tiny bit of request,

Help me!

Help me remember what I've forgotten,

Help me crawl back to Your blissful dream,

I can't stay in the mud any longer,

Or else my heart will suffocate to death—

Bleeding tears of misery.

I know it was my choice that I regret,

I know You've always been waiting for me,

But what else can I do but seek a defeat?

I can only pray and beg with tears in my eyes—

Cuz' I've forgotten what it feels like

To remember Your lotus feet.