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Protagonists are my Stepping Stones

Voted as the most funny and shameless fanfic on WebNovel.

_oinkchan · Anime und Comics
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46 Chs

Have you ever tried twerking?

I was bored. While I was chatting with my discord friends, a guy from the server sent me a message on private chat.

His name is Oink. He is the coolest guy on the server and is extremely handsome. It is said that he is unrivaled and has jade skin more porcelain compared to jade beauties of the xianxia world.

The server admins and the owner prostrate before him.

He has no girlfriend nor does he want one. It is said that even Buddha is a devout follower of his.

'Radiate boundless lus- *coughs* love towards the entire world.'

Tears flowed from my eyes, the most amazing person in the world p-private m-messaged me... I honestly felt honored.

I sniffed, my eyes were blurry because I couldn't see the screen properly due to the tears that covered my eyes.

Immediately I checked the message, wouldn't want to keep him waiting and make a bad impression on him.

Hmm? It seems that he has sent me a link to a survey.

Okay. I will check it out.

Name: (Choose any name for yourself.)

Hmmm.....

I like my original name that is Bob. However it is too generic, I like it due to my divorced parents naming that to me. I wonder why they divorced.

What should I name myself? I want a simple one, short but unique and not weird.

Alright, I have chosen. I will keep it, Miki. It's a mix of English, Arabic, and Japanese.

As for my last name, I will keep it, Nava. Originally I wanted to keep it the same last name, El Navah as the main character of my favorite novel, but then I would become that character's son or his stepson.

I mean I do rever the main character of that novel but I am not worthy of being his son hence I choose this.

Miki Nava.

Let's see the other questions now.

Age:

My current age is **. I'll choose 17.

Nationality. Options are South Korea, Japan, China, United Kingdom, India, North Korea, Ruzzia, Murica.

The last two names seem a bit scary so despite only being able to speak English and French, light Japanese due to anime, etc, I am willing to take the risk of choosing some Non-English Country.

I am tempted to choose England but what would happen if I pick up the accent while I live with them? Bo'ohw'o'wo'er.

North Korea... bruh.

India is good, I like their food but not keen on choosing it. Too much population. I might not even have a decent house to live in without hearing the shouts of the entire area.

I guess I will choose Japan. Every weeb wants to go to Japan. Although I am an ascended weeb, dont compare me to those noobs who watch anime.

I read web novels and shit. Heh. Children. They are too ignorant to recognize Mt.Tai.

Appearance:

I think I'll go with my original appearance. I am quite handsome, not being narcissistic, it's just plain facts.

However, that doesn't mean I won't customize myself. Nothing bad about being more handsome.

-Jade skin.

-Sword-like eyebrows.

blah blah blah.

-Storm gray eyes.

-Ombre hair. (Black, Brown, and Silver)

-Thick curly, straight wavy hair.

-6 feet.

Now to the d*ck part.

-21cm

I mean if I have too big of a dick, pants won't fit me. 21 is decent, size doesn't matter much if you have skills. Even a guy with a 6 cm dick can give a girl the best orgasm of her life if his skills are good and is using sex toys.

Listen, spice is a bit important in every marriage because it slowly gets boring. One doesn't need to feel ashamed, doesn't make one a lesser man. It's normal and even brings spice in the bed part.

Of course, do not use the dildos, that would be getting cucked by a dildo. The vibrators etc work fine.

Alright then, to the next. Appearance has been customized.

Skills: (Please choose five from the options. An advanced skill is equal to three skill slots.)

There were many skills, from magic to simple. All were ranked.

I was planning on choosing one advance and all others as basic skills.

So that would mean that I can choose 1 advanced skill and two basic skills.

After seeing all the options I chose all the skills I would want.

-Telekinesis (A)

-Extremely high Reflex (A)

-Super Control (S)

I chose my skills very mindly. Most would choose a sex skill or something but I chose something that would help me in the long run and the short run both.

I was a bit confused on what to choose between stealth and enhanced reflex but in the end, I chose the reflex. I can anyway get stealth through Godly control so it would be useless to me.

As for telekinesis, I am too lazy to get the t.v. remote and keep the food plates in the sink... hence.

Now let's see the next one.

Energyline.

-Qi.

-Mana.

-Normal shitty loser.

I think I'll choose Mana.

Race

-Disgusting Human. (No affinity.)

-Elf. (Affinity to Qi.)

-Demon. (Affinity to dark mana element etc, weak to light element and holy energy.)

-Angel. (Affinity to light mana element, gender automatic into female or a shota with small pp forever.)

-Vampire. (Bloodsucker, all senses enhanced to the best, weak to sunlight and holy energy.)

-Fallen Angel (Affinity to everything, a delicacy to all creatures including humans.)

-Dragon. (Wuxia/Xianxia dumb, mindless, arrogant young master syndrome.)

-Ghoul. (Eat humans.)

-Dhampir. (Half human- Half Vampire.)

-Noble. (No need for food. Immortal. Body blood manipulation, a soul weapon. Weak body but stronger than human.)

Hmmmm

Elf doesn't interest me, Demon seems good but they have major weaknesses, the same with vampires. As for angel, I dont want to get gender bended nor do I want to become a shota. I dislike shotas with a burning passion.

Ghoul is cool but I dont want to drool on human flesh. Fallen Angel is basically a massive target on the back.

Dragon... I dont want to lose my maturity. Dhampir seems good, I will be able to walk in sunlight and eat food other than blood but honestly doesn't interest me.

I guess I will choose Noble.

Okay, what ne- Hm? It seems that is the end of the survey.

I clicked on the survey option and leaned back on the chair stretching my arms and legs. I put a lot of thought into it and wasted time, it's not like I'll be reincarnated or some shit.

Suddenly my laptop crashed. My hopes immediately went up, I felt good for jinxing myself on purpose.

A few seconds later.

I sighed. This was an everyday thing now. Shouldn't have expected a reincarnation or transmigration, I got my hopes up for anything. It was a simple laptop crash that happens every day.

I took off the battery of the laptop and put it back in it.

Closing my eyes I started to pray to Oink the Great and pressed the 'On' button.

A white screen covered the laptop. I sighed of relief, if this shitty laptop stopped working then I dont know what I would do.

I opened discord and went to my personal chat with Oink.

He was typing.

'3....'

'2...'

I was confused as to why he was doing a countdown... maybe I'll get transmigrated.

'1..'

'Deez nuts in ya mouth.'

Sigh. What did I even expect?

Suddenly I felt droopy, my eyes felt heavy. The last thing I saw before passing out was Oink's final message to me.

'Have a good journey.'

After that all I could see was darkness.

~

[...

Name: Miki Nava.

Alias: None.

Age: 17.

Race: Noble.

Energyline: Mana.

Skills:

-Telekinesis (A)

-Extremely high Reflex (A)

-Super Control (S)

...]