Chapter 12

Juren didn't care nor saw her as a threat but everything he saw in his eyes scared him more when she took out 5 guys in front of him as he only freaked out even more. She was more of a monster than a deadly weapon, what she didn't know wouldn't kill her at least that's what he thought. Who would even miss her? He watched her grow up and he knew who she was through everyone else, a nobody. She never knew who or what she was and having her fear every turn was a thrill to him. He could've killed her a long time ago but it wasn't what he had planned and if anything her father never knew of the outcome. He knew she never had an abortion but he did know she lost it due to lack of health. It only made him happier watching her suffer just because of herself, not because other people said things but because she said those same things to herself. She heard it way too much as he only knew she only tried to kill herself as many times as she could. He only laughed at how many times she had tried to end her life and he knew she didn't like harming herself.

What he knew would only tear her down and so much worse. If Rakel could open her eyes fully without seeing from someone's point of view it would help her so much but she only felt the need to use herself to a certain point. She only had to remind herself she was the demon but then again she only felt she was dreaming, then again she didn't know half the time if she was dreaming or in reality. It scared her because in every dream she had nobody, no one cared for her until she met Austin and that said a lot it only made her want to cry with how she treated herself because of the people around her. It angered Rakel but from Juren's point of view, she only faked everything, was she even human?

Austin barely felt the need to wake up but even though he knew what had happened he still didn't want to move or get up from the ground even though Rakel called his name it was as if he was dead. She was worried for no reason and not just that but he loved the way she cared when it felt as if he couldn't move in the first place. He felt weak and heavy although strain wasn't the issue he felt dead than alive. Juren waited but only patience would harm her as much as the pain she had caused herself. He blamed her and the kid he would've taken but if anything she didn't know that she knew something but he didn't know the full details of why she even lost the baby. He wanted to kill her just because of what was wrong with her, to begin with but because she was the only one that was pretty enough to reproduce he only thought the very thing he wanted more.

Juren didn't really care how polite he needed to be what he wanted to do was the worst to her that's why he had snapped his fingers at her but not before walking past them with the warehouse still in flames as it sang in a song to him. He smiled knowing he had already won the only problem was Austin as he heard the gunshots before turning around quickly and growling out in annoyance. " Kill him but bring her with. She'll be of use." He only walked away as yet another gunshot was heard and yelling from Rakel followed. " Don't touch me! Austin! No!" They ended up dragging her as she cried for the one person that seemed to care. A friend that only thought of her as someone that was great she never listened but now she was definitely gone and not just in her mind. She didn't just seem to lose everything but everyone. What could she gain now that would be worth living? Rakel didn't even fight them she didn't have the strength to do anything. She never won any battle if she did she wouldn't ever have to worry about anything but instead it was as if she was living a nightmare all over again.

She closed her eyes tightly as she knew she didn't have to look but she did anyways and although she could've sworn her eyes were deceiving her she didn't want to believe the figure was Austin holding himself looking back at her in a way she wasn't sure she liked. " Please. Please." She only begged which only resulted in the one on her left slamming his fist against her head but that didn't work as the second time was harder than the first as her eyes only rolled up into her head as her body went limp. Austin however didn't understand why everyone seemed so interested in her he still couldn't live with himself if something happened to her. Holding the wound on his side he only wanted to black out and it was even worse when he tried to walk. The pain went up into his spine as every movement went to his nerves the anxiety only strained him more. He needed rest but he needed to also follow as it would be the only way to know where he was going.

Austin always questioned who was who and considering how he couldn't really trust Rakel with whatever it was that stopped her from living it also affected him more as the outcome weighed him down thinking of the worst. He still heard the demons from before as the details only made him think of where he really was as the blood seeped from his shirt. He felt dizzy and knew he wasn't even okay. He only told himself not to look as he forced himself to keep moving with every step. He didn't realize when he started groaning in pain but he knew it hurt like literal hell. He felt like the fire was moving up into his spine as it took everything in him not to look down at the wound that he knew he needed to mend.

Rakel stood facing the wall as the pain erupted into her nervous system and down her spine. Something was wrong and she hated the pain it only reminded her of the torture and rape that was afflicted on her body. She didn't like the memories or the fact that the pain went into her mind that seemed to wash over her as the fear swept through her very being. " Ma'am, I'm going to give you this for the pain. Lay back and I'll get the doctor." She knew they were well respected for their work but the pain and how bad this was for her even though she had no money tortured her as she knew she wouldn't just be in debt. The lady put the needle into her arm as it immediately made her sleepy even with the pain she slept for 2 hours before really waking up. " Ms. The Doctor tried to save the baby but the strain on your body caused that to fall upon the baby." The lady spoke as she had already known as her body didn't feel right as well as her mind wandered somewhere else far away from where she was.

Rakel never realized that tears fell down her face as the Nurse explained the process of what happened to the baby. " If you hadn't come in, I'm not sure if you would be alive. " Rakel felt too numb to move and upon that trying to lift her arms hurt her as she did not once feel the pain but the fear grew inside the pit of her stomach as both hands interlocked holding where the baby once was. " I'll be right back just rest." Even though Rakel was at ease she only knew it was because of the medication. She lay there feeling hopeless as she knew her life wasn't changed at all. The regret of not fighting even harder for herself made her hate herself. Why was this world so messed up? She had no interest in anything let alone more pain to be afflicted upon her. She didn't even have the strength to move even an inch but what she wanted more at that moment was death. It was waiting for her and at some point, she was going to have to die, right?

She had only grabbed the nurse's knife when she had leaned over her making sure the needle was still in her skin. Rakel didn't have to know what kind of knife it was but it felt small as she felt frail with every thought. The last thing she'd ever wanted to do wasn't do this as she barely had to do anything except open the knife thankfully she didn't need both hands. Rakel didn't want to think she knew if she did she wouldn't do it. She watched as the pointed sharp edge hit her side but she quickly looked away thinking of the possibility of not doing what she was doing. Her main focus was on death, not the busy nurses in front of her as she wanted to cry out from the stabbing pain that went up into her spine. She didn't see the blood now she immediately felt as if she was being drained fully. " Hey!" She barely heard it before her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

When Rakel came to she didn't care even the rope that had her tied to the pole didn't faze her. What pained her was the thought that she couldn't do the one thing everyone else wanted to do to her. Rakel couldn't get the image out of her mind when they asked her if she was okay. Rakel wanted to laugh in everyone's faces every time as clearly, she wasn't. She knew she was depressed. She knew in every thing she did there was an outcome, there always was, it was called life for a reason. No one got their way and if they could why couldn't she? She never realized she fought herself most of the time and even when she tried to kill herself in the past a part of her always screamed no. She saw the demon that turned into her from the cave, she wished she could do that. She wished she was anyone else but herself. She never regretted yelling at Austin but the pain from her point of view only made her feel bad as she knew that she was just imagining him standing. She still had that weird water stuff from the fountain but then again she didn't really have it on her.

The thought of Austin hating her to the point where he really was dead or anything made her want to kill herself. She wouldn't be able to live with herself even though she barely knew him as a person it still pained her because he was the only thing closest to her. She heard the voices as she hung her head acting as if she was sleeping. " Maybe the boss wouldn't be happy if we touched her." The other snickered as the other barely made a noise after saying it as she didn't like anything other than the looks on their faces as she could see herself beating the smug looks off them. She found the energy but that was only because she hated being tied up or worse and she didn't ever like it when someone thought they could harm her.

Rakel barely could think straight although she tried her hardest to fight with the rope that held her arms behind her she never realized the hardest part was just trying to do the very thing that haunted her. Creepy laughter followed after footsteps only showed in her vision before a hand firmly grabbed her side the pain only made her wish she could scream right in their faces. She only stood facing away from the front of the tent as she faced the table that lay out just a few feet from her. The man in front of her wore dark blue jeans his hand only went down to her hip holding it firmly as he got closer to her. Rakel took her chance kicking in between his legs and hitting him where it hurts his eyes went wide before she didn't even think as his friend only punched her hard. Her head moved to the side harshly as her neck popped. Rakel kicked the man in front of her in the face and she didn't care if it affected them. They pissed her off and she was getting tired of being treated like trash when she was a piece of art, and yet she didn't believe that.

The man hit the table but not enough to black out as he only grunted in pain however the man that stood grabbed her by the hair before hitting her in the throat as she tried to breathe only every time she tried was just another punch to her ribs. " Death is on you. " She only got a glimpse of him before his fist rammed into her face once more as someone else entered only to chuckle more to himself rather than out loud for the heck of it. " Wow. Rakilaia Jones causing a mess. That's not something you should do. " He paused as Rakel couldn't see him but he only looked at her from where he stood as he looked at the two men that seemed to always fail him. " Boys leave us. " He looked at the ground walking across from where he was and letting them walk past and out of the tent before he walked up behind her. " What should I do? " He didn't sound energetic if anything he sounded upset and his voice filled with regret before she tried to understand why as the answer soon followed.

She didn't even know what it was she just knew that her hands were suddenly loose before something went around her throat from behind as she still couldn't question anything. The air felt like it was sucked out of her as she tried to grab it only he forced himself against her as she fell against the table. " What did you do?" He growled it out pushing himself as she couldn't take it before clawing out with her nails on his arms. " Freezin hell!" He yelled pushing into her harder with more force only he found relief before getting not one idea as it became more of a burning desire than just a want. " What?" She pulled one foot up pushing out as she heard a strangled cry before breathing out shakingly. " You and everyone else can suck my big fat toe and get lost." She kicked him across his face before he could even look at her but she wasn't stupid she knew his intentions with her.

Why couldn't she meet one guy that liked her for her? It ticked her off that every guy even the ones she didn't even like wanted only one thing and it wasn't even just that they were all abusive, sexual, and downright disrespectful. She had cried on more than one occasion because she knew she might be forever alone. Thinking about Austin made her think just maybe but she only wished she had more of a friend than a lover. She already knew how it felt to be alone and even though she tried to get out of her comfort zone it never seemed to really help. She wasn't social but she never wanted to be alone in the first place. She had even tried to change herself so that people could see someone else instead and that didn't even work. She remembered those days even with Harper.

It was Harper's Idea in the first place to throw a raging party only she didn't even want to be a part of it but she wanted something to change because of the way Harper acted with her. Rakel saw the acting, the way she was fake with her, and Rakel wasn't a fan. She tried to change that and accidentally got drunk. The next morning Harper didn't even care if anything they weren't friends at all. Rakel only wanted to say they were because Harper was the only one that would really talk to her, other than her Teachers, but they didn't even count. She didn't even realize that for the thousandth time she was crying until she ran the back side of her hand across her eyes she felt the anger just rise in her and she wasn't even sure if she liked what she was. She didn't just feel stuck but something broke inside of her and finally, she felt that deep feeling as she knew she would come to hate herself.

" Aghh!" She screamed she thought it would make her feel better but it didn't she knew she had a terrifying look on her face but in all honesty, she didn't even care. She hated that she cared about everyone else but herself. Everything had to change thankfully she wasn't about to be changed just because of a guy that thought he could do whatever with her. It disgusted her to even think about it as a snear only showed on her face after walking out of the tent into the now fading sun. " What to do?" She meant to say it in her mind not out loud. The only problem she faced at the moment was regret ever trying to change the future for herself. " You just had to be like your great-great grandfather. Yeah, you are pathetic." She said it to herself out loud as she didn't care if anyone heard. She felt it in her soul when she told herself she was done, maybe it was her time to leave and take back what was stolen and that was her soul, to begin with.

Rakel fought with herself not knowing what was around her. She didn't even know what was in her mind as she felt like two people were arguing back and forth telling her one thing as something or someone else was telling her another. What was so wrong with her that left her so broken? She felt like she wasn't even the one that was in her mind however it sounded as if two completely different people were arguing instead of her. She couldn't hear anything as something pulled at her yet again for the millionth time she turned around to face a deranged psychopath throwing a handful of bombs at her as one seemed to fall at his feet. She wasn't too sure before feeling something else come over her as she ran further than she thought away from the evil behind her. She didn't even care about the treasure at that point it was no use to her as she grabbed the small bent car holder pressing the middle button as she breathed deeply feeling a sudden calmness run through her.

She still heard the demon pestering her before shaking it from her head completely as she heard the faint whooshing sound from her vehicle that came up to her. She didn't even remember getting in as she immediately thought of Austin and what he was to her in her mind. She hadn't even moved before thinking to herself as she yet again cried for assurance that wasn't even there. Looking up she could only hope as she made her way towards where he was supposed to be. Crying she never even thought about why she couldn't find him maybe she really had lost it and imagined the person that was there. Crying more like a baby didn't satisfy her and not once did she even think as a hand grabbed her shoulder too softly for her to even notice. Rakel didn't seem to care but she never heard the voice as it seemed too far for her to hear as not even danger screamed at her.

" Rakel! " She barely understood what she did before lunging after turning at who called her. She was so focused on losing her friend that she didn't even understand what she had done in the first place as her fist closed around her khyber bowie knife that stuck to her hand like glue as yet again Austin laid out underneath her. " Austin." She knew she didn't look great but neither was he as she barely lifted off him as didn't look at him fully before wrapping her arms around his neck. Austin however felt better but not fully well as he felt better when he thought she cried but she only breathed in a deeper breath as she was just thankful.

Austin Willbank woke up in a sweat in his dorm room breathing hysterically he didn't understand what had happened as he knew that wasn't just a dream. Looking around he didn't think it was just a dream it felt too real and there wasn't any way that he had just dreamed that entire thing in not even 15 hours. Frantic he looked down the hallway after opening the door as a note fell at his feet. He didn't question it but he picked it up anyways as it read that he was failing every class and that he would either have to drop out or retake that Junior year. He wasn't even worried about it if anything he needed answers. Austin had made up his mind as he tried to get ready fast before thinking that he was just going a little overboard, only it felt weird to him to even think the way he was as he fast walked away from his dorm and where her room was supposed to be. He had never in his life met a Harper but he knew a Harper Finckel went to college with another Harper Grace. He didn't have to go to class as he had run into one of his friends Erin as his arm pointed over at a bunch of other girls. Austin felt disgusted that his friend even had a mindset like that then again he was only hoping that it wasn't just a dream as he fled towards the girls as one that looked like the Harper in the dream stood waiting with a look of self-pity on her face.

" Can we help you?" He didn't have to think as that was definitely Harper. " Where's Rakel?" Harper acted as if she didn't know him but in all honesty, he didn't care he needed to find Rakel. " You mean that loner girl I have to share a room with? Girls, let's go. " Harper tried to stalk away with her hand held in a certain way as she had already turned her body but she didn't have to do much as he heard the familiar roar from an engine. Smiling he ran outside as Harper only rolled her eyes as they all walked away, but Austin had already seen the Camero he immediately recognized it as Rakels. The problem that surfaced was the part that seemed to haunt him as Rakilaia Jones got out of her parked car not giving a care in the world as she hide the exact same Triangular Device in her pack as she clung to it as her life depended on it. " Rakel?" It was a question as he felt in the atmosphere that she didn't know him at all. " I'm sorry?" Rakel looked exactly the same only cleaner but he wasn't even sure as he heard the strangled cry from behind him.

" Hey, loner! Go kill yourself. " Austin didn't have to turn but he did anyways as he stared right at Harper who only stared back at him as her eyes shifted in between both of them. " What you actually have a friend. Who are you anyways her little boyfriend? Disgusted."

" Real funny Harper. I'm harper I think I'm cool but I only pick on those when I don't even know myself. Ha. " Austin was surprised as he had shut his mouth as he was going to defend her. Austin stood in between both of them as Harper's friends stood around her as if enjoying it. " She only treats people this way because she doesn't even know how to pick up the pieces in her own life. She's using you." Austin looked surprised at Rakel as he didn't know to expect this new energy from her. " By the way Harper. You might think you're cool but you are too not me." Austin knew that as it was like a chill that went down his spine. This was the Rakel he knew only she was definitely different from before. " I'm guessing you had a dream that resulted in you seeing things that this Device gave you of me? She looked at him in shock as he could only nod toward her.

He cleared his throat thinking of the worse as she just hopped into her 1969 Camero. " You coming Austin Willbank?" He only smiled at her words thinking there was no way that was just a dream as she had remembered him. He got in only thinking of the adventure that didn't just await him but the possibility of heartbreak as the PTSD might kick in at any given moment. " The Device can make you see things. I didn't realize that till it pointed me to the keeper." She talked while he only listened to everything like nothing changed in between the space that didn't phase them at all.