5. Chapter 5

V.

Elizabeth did not attend dinner with the others that evening. She stayed and ate a light meal with Jane, whose recovery was now definitively progressing. Lizzy even teased Jane that perhaps tomorrow they would throw a ball downstairs in her honour that she may attend. Jane's blush was even stronger than Lizzy would have expected, but perhaps a little of her fever still remained to increase the colour.

"In all seriousness, Jane, I do think that perhaps tomorrow evening, you will be well enough to join the party," then remembering her sister's still-heightened colour, "perhaps only after dinner though, so as to not tax you too greatly. I know a certain gentleman would be delighted to see you..."

"Oh Lizzy, Mr. Bingley is too kind –"

"Oh no, Jane, I meant Mr. Darcy, of course!" Elizabeth teased with a laugh and wink.

Jane joined her laughter, "Lizzy, be serious! Honestly, I will be so very glad to leave this room, even just for an hour. Mr. and Miss Bingley are so kind to allow me to spend my recovery here, but I must admit, I feel rather tired of staring at the same walls and unable to venture out of this room."

Lizzy felt awful, "Jane, my dear, why did you not tell me that you were feeling restless? I should not have left you today had I known you were needing entertainment! Pray, tell me how I can make amends for abandoning you to boredom?"

"Oh Lizzy, you make too much of what I say!" Privately, Elizabeth disagreed with this as she knew that Jane almost never complained and if she did, it was always caused by something serious, but she allowed Jane to continue uninterrupted. "All I meant was that I am eager to rejoin the party tomorrow and see our family again soon after."

"Ah Jane, your fair skin gives you away! I see the blush on your cheeks – so you were not merely bored, you are eager to see Mr. Bingley! Well, I cannot find fault with that desire. I do believe he is an excellent gentleman and I would wish nothing changed about him; he is quite perfect for you! Although, I suppose, I might wish for him to have less disagreeable sisters, but otherwise..."

"Lizzy!" Jane admonished, but she could not keep her countenance truly harsh, "It is not right to say such things! We are guests in their home and -"

"Yes, dear, you are right." Elizabeth easily agreed, "Please do not allow yourself to become upset over my rudeness. I will allow you to rest so that tomorrow evening you may join the party and impress them all with your beauty and goodness! I doubt even Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst can find fault with you!"

And with that, they begun the process of preparing Jane for bed. They did not speak much as they felt no need and each with plenty to think over in her own mind; however, while Lizzy was brushing out Jane's hair, Jane voiced a thought she had been pondering, "Lizzy, does it not seem strange to you that Mama has not come to check on me since I have arrived here at Netherfield?"

Elizabeth cringed slightly and admitted, "Actually Jane, I sent a note to Mama after I arrived to inform her of your condition and promised to keep her updated. She did send one message indicating her plan to see you herself, but I – oh, please do not be angry with me, Jane, but I discouraged her! I allowed myself to imply that if she were to arrive here in the carriage that it may create the impression to the inhabitants here that she was intending to take you home to recover at Longbourn."

Jane seemed a mixture of shock and humour, "Elizabeth Bennet! You did no such thing!" Her tone was primarily scolding, but there was a touch of laughter underneath.

Elizabeth felt the need to explain herself: "Please understand, Jane, that while I know Mama means well, her … enthusiasm for her daughters' futures can be a bit overwhelming to a new acquaintance like Mr. Bingley or his sisters. I simply did not want Mama to say or do something that might give the wrong impression." Her tone was pleading; she knew that it was wrong to think of one's mother in such a way, but what she could not tell Jane was that she knew for a fact that their mother had already left a poor impression on the Netherfield party and Elizabeth would do whatever she could in her power to protect Jane from further scorn; their mother's continued distance seemed the best solution. No doubt one visit from Mrs. Bennet would provide ample entertainment and ammunition for the self-important sisters and Mr. Darcy; Elizabeth would not make it so easy for them.

Jane, being the overly kind soul she was, looked indulgently at her sister, "Lizzy, you worry too much over such things. Mr. and Miss Bingley are kind people; they would not judge a person harshly for the loving actions of a parent, even if Mama is sometimes overly enthusiastic, as you said." Elizabeth could tell that the last part was hard for Jane to admit, so Lizzy chose not to correct Jane's mistaken understanding of Miss Bingley's character and nodded as she responded:

"You are right, Jane, I am sure Mr. Bingley is wiser than that. I do apologize for my foolishness." Both ladies knew the apology was merely a gesture of goodwill. Indeed, to herself, Lizzy thought slyly, But I would do it again one hundred times over! Mama may mean well, but it was her scheming that landed us here in the first place!

"Lizzy, you know I cannot be angry with you! I know that you acted out of love. I am very blessed to have such a sister as you." Jane's acceptance was entirely earnest, even knowing that her sister's apology was not. But it was enough to settle the matter.

Thus resolved, they completed Jane's bedtime preparations and then Elizabeth went back to her own room and started the same routine for herself.

Strangely though, she found her thoughts were all in a tangle. Or was it her emotions? She felt so mixed up she could not sort through her own mind. She was simultaneously pleased and disappointed to be departing soon. And what of Jane and Mr. Bingley? Lizzy felt certain that Mr. Bingley was a man of honour and while he had very explicitly avoided making any sort of specific intention known, he had been most eager to relate his partiality for Jane. No, Elizabeth decided this was not the source of her confusion. It soon came that she could not seem to stop replaying her brief encounter earlier that day with Mr. Darcy at tea! This realization was most unwelcome and she attempted to forcibly disregard it.

However, her efforts were for naught as the thoughts continued as though of their own accord. She realized with not a small amount of surprise that this was the second time that gentleman had initiated interactions between the two of them recently! And had Charlotte not observed at the last gathering that Mr. Darcy looked at her quite often? She had dismissed such notions then, but... Quite unbidden, his compliment of her eyes floated into her consciousness. She wondered what this could possibly mean! She knew it was impossible that he should admire her enough to have any true designs on her, given the differences in their station and his proud manner. So what was she to think?

All at once, Elizabeth felt unbearably tired and unable to allow her mind to continue to race in circles any longer. She determined that in moving forward she should take her cue from the gentleman's behaviour toward herself and resolved to drop the matter forthwith. This was enough to provide some measure of relief and shortly thereafter, she fell into a rather exhausted and deep sleep, grateful for the reprieve from her thoughts that sleep afforded.

ooOOoo

The next morning, Elizabeth woke rather early but felt refreshed nonetheless. She dressed quickly in a simple morning dress and determined that the weather was pleasant enough for a walk through Netherfield's park. Jane was likely still asleep, but even if she awoke, she was well enough that Elizabeth's presence was not urgently required. And she knew that soon they would depart Netherfield, so this seemed the perfect time to enjoy it's lovely gardens while they were still conveniently available to her.

Elizabeth was quiet on her way downstairs and avoided all but a servant or two, who nodded politely to her, but allowed her to continue unhindered. She made her way into the breakfast room and had just taken a roll from the sideboard when a voice made her jump in surprise:

"Miss Elizabeth! Good morning, I did not expect to see anyone else up so early." Mr. Darcy's voice was not so cold as she had originally believed it to be and actually, the rhythm of his speech was rather pleasing. She blushed at the thought, but knew she must turn and face him.

Turning, she replied, "Mr. Darcy, good morning to you as well. I must echo your surprise as I too expected to be quite alone. Indeed, I am merely stopping to take a roll along with me on my tour of the park this morning. I find that nature is at its most beautiful in the early mornings."

For his part, Mr. Darcy was nearly knocked off his feet by the sight she presented: freshly awakened with clear skin and bright eyes, she was dressed casually, her bonnet in her hand still, and her cheeks rosy with the cool morning. "I find I must agree with you, Miss Elizabeth, that apparently many things are at their most beautiful in the morning." His tone had a rawness to it that she could not comprehend but the way his eyes bore into hers made her blush deepen slightly.

"Well, I must be off," said she and began to move toward the door.

"Miss Elizabeth, I wonder if perhaps you would like a guide on your tour of the park? I realize that I am also a guest at Netherfield, but as I have been assisting Bingley, I have a fair knowledge of the grounds..." he trailed off, feeling somewhat foolish for his rambling offer, but hoping nonetheless that the lady would accept.

In her head Elizabeth had said no and thanked him for his kindness (after all, whatever would they discuss?), but it seemed aloud she had somehow accepted – traitorous mouth! Her anger at her unintended acceptance disappeared almost as quickly as it arrived when Mr. Darcy smiled and offered his arm to her; perhaps her mouth knew something her mind did not. She took his arm and he led them toward the door to the gardens.

Elizabeth was never the type of lady to swoon in the presence of a gentleman; in fact, she was quite accomplished in many of the activities of men since, as a child, her father had indulged her curiosity for riding, shooting, and even allowed her to study subjects traditionally regarded as being for males. However, in the presence of Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth found herself feeling oddly feminine. Perhaps it was Mr. Darcy's height (she barely reached his shoulder) or lean muscular build (she would never admit aloud that she could feel the strong muscles of his arm through his sleeve!) or his scent (some intriguing combination of soap, leather, and a spice she could not quite identify) – the cold air as they exited the house was a welcome relief! It cut through her haze and she released a breath she had not known she was holding.

She was not aware that Mr. Darcy had been likewise engaged with his own thoughts of her, but he too felt the cold air shock him out of his reverie. Unlike Miss Elizabeth, Darcy was keenly aware of the effect she seemed to have on him. Her delicate hand was firm upon his arm – he relished the contact and found himself wanting more! Her clean floral scent was filling his nose and it took every ounce of his willpower to avoid burying his face in her hair. When he heard her sigh, he wondered if she was bored with the lack of conversation and quickly set to correcting that:

"Miss Elizabeth, I never did get to hear your character analyses yesterday. Might I be able to persuade you now to share some of your findings?"

Elizabeth was flattered that he recalled their last conversation, but found herself uncomfortable with the request. She determined her best course was to tease him:

"Why, Mr. Darcy! I do believe, sir, you mean to trick me! How clever of you, but this shall not work for I know that no members of the local society are of interest to you and it would be quite scandalous for me to gossip about the members of this household while a guest here! Of whom should I speak where the recitation will not reflect poorly on my own character?"

Darcy was initially surprised by her response. The lady had denied and teased him? He was accustomed to ladies catering to his every perceived desire, regardless of the appropriateness. He enjoyed her arch manner and attempted to respond in kind, "Madam, why should you claim I have no interest in the local society? Are those not currently my neighbours and acquaintances at the local assemblies and dinners?"

"Ah, but Mr. Darcy, you forget that I have attended several such events with you and know for a fact that you choose to keep to your own party whenever possible." Her manner was playful and there was a smile in her voice, but somewhere inside there was also an unacknowledged part desiring an explanation of his behaviour, both then and now. Whether or not the gentleman could perceive this, his answer was nonetheless more sincere and without any satirical undertones:

"I cannot deny a certain preference for those with whom I am more intimately acquainted, as my nature tends toward the more serious and taciturn and this can make new introductions tedious and uncomfortable. Indeed, I often feel I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers." Can she not see the discomfort written so plainly across my face in these settings?

"Pray sir, please explain why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?" Although she had intended to continue to tease him, as this seemed the safest course to avoid answering anything that would reveal too much of herself, her tone now was earnest. She felt his body tense next to her and under her hand; she interpreted this as a failure on her part to adequately suppress her curiosity about him and now only awaited his dismissal of her.

It did not come. Instead, he answered the question with continued honesty, despite a somewhat stilted speech: "I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done." And here he smiled slightly at her as though embarrassed for his speech or perhaps for this perceived defect in himself.

This response shocked Elizabeth; his honest evaluation of himself was enough to remove from Elizabeth the desire to mock him, but then how to respond? There was a slight pause before she determined to relieve his anxiety: "So you say, Mr. Darcy, but in my observation, we have been pleasantly conversing this past ten minutes without any great lapse." she felt a slight relaxing of his person and continued, "Perhaps it is merely a case of the need for continuing practice."

To her great surprise, she heard the gentleman give a slight chuckle, "Or the right instructor. Should I apply to you directly for lessons, then, Miss Elizabeth?"

His question made her blush, but she was relieved by the lightness of his reply. "But of course not, Mr. Darcy – I believe that Miss Bingley has been most eager for that post!"

She knew it was wrong to abuse Miss Bingley without the lady there, but hearing the full laugh that this brought forth from Mr. Darcy removed any uneasiness she may have felt on that count. However, his laughter distracted her so forcefully, she had to make conscious efforts to continue moving her feet forward. It was a great shock to Elizabeth to discover that she found Mr. Darcy to be powerfully distracting! She sobered herself with the recollection that this was still the same man who had called her 'only tolerable' and judged her marital prospects to be unsatisfactory; she would be wise to guard her heart more closely as he likely was unaware that his laughter and smile were utterly beguiling.

With that resolution firmly in her mind, they chatted amiably about nothing in particular (how pleasant the weather is for the time of year leading to a discussion of London and Derbyshire's respective weathers) until they found themselves returned to the house once again where they went their separate ways.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! As always, reviews – constructive and supportive alike – are SO appreciated! They make me unbelievably happy and really motivate me to keep going, so THANK YOU! Also, thank you to all those who added this story or me to alerts and favorites – I'm honored!