Past

A Kaleidoscope of colors and images fly past me as I watch this breathtaking scene emotionlessly like a spectator who has no relations to them, yet I notice. The images all portray my memories. But no matter how I try, I'm forced to watch as scenes change in high speed until we get to the earliest of my memories.

I see my three year old self wrestling with plushies that litter the whole floor. [I miss the big plushie.] I think as I see my favorite plushie that dad threw away. It was as big as my adult self. [The good times when I did so many reckless things.] Next I see a scene of our neighbor's dog pushing me down the stairs as the neighbor just doesn't care and walks past with her dog. [Fucking bitch.] That was the beginning of my fear of dogs that I thankfully got over thanks to my friends, even if it took me 15 years.

Scene changes to my crazy ass jumping off the balcony and landing in the yard without anything broken. How I came out of that 3 meter drop fine as a three year old is unknown to me and everyone else. Another scene where dad is pushing the 3-chain tire swing I'm in but I fall off the hole in the middle and the tire smacks my head so hard that most of my milk teeth just fly off and I go unconscious. [I've heard this story so many times but this actually happened huh? The hit erased this from my memory... or so I tought.]

Next I see scenes of trying a skateboard and hurting myself again and again. Then father forced me to try going without the aid wheels on a bike and hurting myself miserably and not biking for few years. [I remember that when I finally got the courage to try, my balance had already grown good enough that I rode smoothly with no problems.] I see myself going on crazy adventures in the woods and shrugging of twisted ankles like it was nothing.

Time flies a few years and now I see the six year old me going sledding and doing a huge jump off a self-made snow ramp and snapping my back. Yet... I still keep playing even if my back hurt. I got myself some rollerblades and went to a skatepark to try doing tricks. After some trial and error and getting some proper protective gear, I succeeded doing some tricks and was so happy. [Such simple times. I could do all kinds of sports and shrug off the pain and just continue on...] I see myself skiing, ice skating, going to action parks to do all kinds of things, swimming... and then I see the beginning of my fear of the water.

Back then I still couldn't swim without floaties because I didn't really bother to learn to swim properly. That's why when my floatie slipped off... I drowned... well I was rescued and I came to after some time. Back then I simply shrugged it off again but it left a scar in my mind. The deep dark suffocating abyss. I still loved to swim but I never went deeper than my legs could reach. Only if I had a proper floatie would I ever go to the deep but still would be scared and swim back as fast as I could. A year later I drowned again but this time it was because I was sucked underwater by a strong whirlpool current but I was also rescued faster so I wasn't out so long.

Few years flash by again and there is my ten year old self going high speed down the hill with my roller skates while my father is biking on the side. Suddenly without warning the middle tire of the right skate just flies off and I'm sent flying down to the rough asphalt. Since I was so accustomed to the skates, I stopped using the protective gear and now my knees are bleeding with gravel mixed in the wounds. I grit my teeth and hopped on the back grid of my dad's bike as we slowly got home and I was plopped down on the sofa as my mom cleans my wounds.

You could even see the bone from my wounds and for some reason not even one of my parents thought it would be a good idea to get me to see a doctor or something. No I just healed it off in my home and once my wounds scarred, I didn't like the damn scar so I kept opening it again and again until the tissue turned normal looking. [This is so fucked up.] After this I never knew if I was walking normally ever again. Every time I walk, I question myself if this is how people walk as I feel a sense of discomfort in the very action.

By now I slowly started doing sports and started brawling with my friends for fun. If I wasn't playing something on my PC or PS1, I would be outside doing parkour while beating up my friends. Then one day at an action park while jumping on an air trampoline I somehow got my right leg stuck as the trampoline crushes my ankle with pressure as I try to desperately force my leg out. Eventually I got it out but my ankle felt like it was broken from multiple spots. After resting a while I just shrug it off while having a bit of a limp in my leg I go to a bigger air trampoline with lots of other kids but I somehow got my leg stuck again.

I still shrug it off and go have other fun while my leg still has a limp. Eventually we find some normal trampolines and I start jumping on one until I hear a snap from my back as the air escapes my lungs and the familiar back pain comes back. From this day forth my ankle would twist easily but I would still shrug it off and if I would jump there was a chance that my back would snap and all the air would escape my lungs. Slowly I would start to realize that all the damage up to now hadn't gone and it would accumulate.

I still didn't stop brawling though I did lessen it and I started doing sports again. Judo, snowboarding, off road biking... But I still got hurt every time I tried sports. As I turned 12 I felt like life wasn't worth living in all this pain. It was then that I tried my first suicide. During the cold winter I decided to go out in the middle of the night and buried myself deep in snow and dying away from hypothermia in my sleep. I never fell asleep after hours of waiting and the cold kept me awake despite how it was described everywhere and went back home.

After a week I noticed that my body constantly felt cold inside and outside and my body would dry up. All my energy went to keep myself warm but only my torso could be kept warm as my hands and feet would feel like Death itself resided in them and whomever I touched would feel the chill of Death. I could warm them up eventually but that would be only for a small while.

By the age of 12 I stopped everything except biking as I just used it as a means of transportation... even if I kept getting in accidents. I started gaming and watching anime for the most of my time as a means to escape the suffering that is my daily life...

...

Suddenly everything turns to static and I wake up. First I'm confused by the dream I had but soon I forget the detailed contents but still remember what the dream was about as the feelings still remain. I sigh and get up as I don't want to mull over with unpleasant feelings and try to distract myself with anything as soon as possible.

I get out of the room and then hear Sanji outside talking to Luffy animatedly about All Blue as I go over.

"All Blue, huh... How stupid." I say and get a glare from Sanji and even from Zeff who is secretly looking from above but I ignore them and continue.

"All the fish in all the seas? Stupid, you are a chef. Dream bigger." My words confuse everyone.

"You should find All Blue and more. There must be islands with all the fruits in the world, all the animals in the world, spices, vegetables, you name it. You are a chef. Find All Blue and find every ingredient you would ever want. Don't limit yourself on only the fish. Dream bigger."

I always found Sanji's dream a bit off. Toriko would've definitely went for every ingredient in the world while Sanji just limits himself to fish? I mean I bet the Fishman Island is the All Blue anyways as he kept shouting when they got there or somewhere near at least. My words stun both Sanji and Zeff as Luffy just laughs and shouts about meat islands. Zeff leaves with a smile on his face as the three of us keep talking and before long the dinner bell sounds as the employees go to eat.

I go in with Luffy and Sanji as I'm quite famished after sleeping who knows how long after and finally having some proper rest even if it's not enough. We were told that there ain't no more seats and that we need to eat on the floor and after a while the cooks start dissing Sanji's soup and throwing it to the ground wasting it and even Zeff does the same. Luffy is visibly confused as I just watch Sanji raging, knowing what they are doing as I've already heard it even if I don't remember this.

Zeff punches Sanji and Sanji goes out of the dining area while Luffy remarks that the soup is really good in his opinion. Then the chefs just say that they know and start complaining to Zeff how horrible it was to act this out and Zeff asks Luffy to bring Sanji with him. Luffy refuses as he wants Sanji to say he wants to come with instead of someone else saying to take him away and soon I feel something getting near the restaurant and crashing through the door along with Sanji.

We help Yosaku who was stuffed inside a pandashark and he starts telling everything about where Nami is headed and how dangerous it is and how Luffy is needed.

"I'll go too. Take me with you." Sanji interjects to everyone's surprise.

"I'll accompany you on your way to becoming the Pirate King. After all, we both have crazy dreams. So I'll tag along to fulfill mine that has grown even bigger. I'll be the cook for your ship. Sound good? Or Bad?"

"SOUNDS GREAT! WOOHOO!" Luffy shouts and starts hopping around. We start getting things ready and prepare the small ship that the restaurant will give us while waiting for Sanji to gather his things and do whatever he needs doing. After quite a lot of waiting Sanji finally appears. He is suddenly assaulted by Patty and Carne who want revenge from all the years but get beaten up in a second.

Sanji just calmly walks past all the chefs, not giving them a glance. "Let's go"

"Just like that? What about saying good byes?" Luffy wonders as Sanji just says it's fine.

"Hey, Sanji. Don't catch a cold." Zeff says from his balcony and tears start gathering on Sanji's eyes.

"OWNER ZEFF!" Sanji turns around an does a dogeza towards Zeff.

"I'M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL, FOR TAKING CARE OF ME FOR SO DAMN LONG! I SHALL NEVER FORGET THE REST OF MY LIFE THE DEBT I OWE YOU!" One by one the chefs start crying and shouting how they will miss Sanji.

"LET'S MEET AGAIN ONE DAY! YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BASTARDS!"

"Alright! Let's set sail!"

As Sanji finishes his parting words Luffy orders the ship to set sails as all of us wave at the Baratie.