section 12

The Gizem stood in front of me with a bewildered expression of what to say. He had both happiness and curiosity on his face. When I liked someone, I promised to tell them first years ago. Even if I didn't, I'd tell him first. For the first time, I had butterflies flying through me. It takes me a while to confess to myself, but it makes me dream when I sleep at night. Anyway, let me get to the mystery.

Whoa! Oh, my God, are you serious? Don't freak out, girl, instead of shutting up, tell me all about it from the beginning.

Okay, I'll tell you, but I'm not so sure. It just happened so suddenly. I don't know if it's just a simple liking. I don't know where to begin.

Well, let's talk about who you are first. Then tell me what makes you think about that feeling, and I'm sure there'll be more. Come on, Oya!

You know the Ozan. He's a friend from childhood. We hadn't seen him in years, but we both heard he was successful and rich. Even if it never came up, I was very curious. And he never spoke to me, he didn't even look at me, and he looked so sad. And then I tried not to care too much about it. I went to the lakeside the other day. I like to walk around there from time to time and read books. One day the Bard came there. We had a little talk. And I'm incredibly excited. How many days in a row have I been to the lake. Maybe he'll come back there and maybe we can talk. But he never showed up. I believe you'll come for no reason, but I'm going to stop going. For example, I've never been today. I don't know, Mystery. It's a different feeling than laughing and having fun and being happy. Something that keeps me dreaming when I'm sleeping.

Oya d...

Stop talking about Gizem. First, I want to tell you all my feelings for a moment. I don't have the same thoughts in my brain all the time. We have plenty of time to listen to you later. I wish I could see him right now. I guess I couldn't sleep with happiness until morning. I don't know what to do, Mystery. It's ridiculous that I liked him when I was a kid and I knew him. And what can I do when there's zero chance he'll like me? I'm going to try to make him love me? I think that'll be the last thing I do. I can't make you love her so ridiculously. But right now, I wish he'd like me, too. Oh, my Go! That's it, Gizem. Part of me is very happy, hopeful. I love the butterflies in me, but the possibility that he doesn't love me seems to make me feel better.

Is it over, Oya?

Yes, I'm listening to you now, dear.

Oya, this is perfect. I understand your feelings very well. But we only have one problem.

Then he went to the other room and came with an invitation and handed it to me.

When I opened it, it was the Ozan's engagement invitation. I wiped the drop from my eyes with the back of my hand,

I said, who is Ozge someone we know?

I don't know him either, dear. But it's this weekend. He invited everyone. I'm shocked by what you're saying right now. I was very excited at first, but when I heard the name, I guess my reaction wasn't very normal either. Forgive me.

He said he'd see you later. I didn't even hear the mystery say anything behind my back. I went straight to the lakeside. My eyes continued with the favorite process. I got mad at myself as the water dripded from them. I liked him straight away, like I'd been waiting for this moment for years.

Then someone called me by my name. When I looked back, it was as if I'd forgotten the whole thing when I saw the Ozan.

Sir, Ozan?

Are you all right, Oya? Your eyes are red.

(She was close to wiping away my tears.)

Wait, Ozan, I can wipe my own tears. I'm fine, it's nothing.

Okay, Oya, I'm sorry, I just thought I'd delete it like that.

That's when I felt like being mad at him, but who was I? Why would she have to tell me that she has a boyfriend and they're getting engaged this weekend? If he knew I might like it, he'd run away from me. Oh, what an idiot!

Then I kept talking like nothing had happened.

No problem. I guess I was a little harsh, too. Anyway, how are you doing?

I'm trying to be good, too. I'm having a little trouble, but I think I can handle it.

You can share your problem with me if you want. Maybe we can find a solution.

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me.

Even if I regret what I said afterwards, the answer wasn't too late.

I'm getting engaged this weekend, Oya, but things are a little complicated.

How complicated?

Oya, we need to keep this between us. Can I trust you?

Of course you can. I'm listening to you.

It's actually a big deal. But there are issues I'm concerned about. It's not a real engagement, Oya. But we have to pretend it's real, Ozgeyle. I'm so incapable of acting.

So why do you have to make this game?

Oya, there are things here you don't know. But I can't tell you all this. Just know it's not real, okay?

Yes, Bard. But promise me you'll tell me one day.

I promise, Oya. By the way, please don't cry like that again. Or share the problem with me. Shame on those eyes, baby. I'll see you later.

See you.