POO MAN

Physical Education. Two words that could sap the joy out of any school day for Abel Brooks. He and his best friend, Ben Marsh, trudged down one of the school's corridors, dragging their feet as if they were headed to an execution.

"Why is PE even mandatory?" Abel muttered as he glanced nervously around, already dreading the session to come. "It's not like we're ever going to need to know how to dribble in real life..."

Ben chuckled, patting his stomach, which was already grumbling at the thought of lunchtime. "Exactly! That should be reserved for the school team. We should get to choose between PE and... I don't know, something more useful, like how to crack that Turf Wars DLC."

At the mention of the game, Ben's eyes lit up. *Spider-Man PS4* was a game they had been hooked on of late. Well, it had been fun until they decided to download additional DLC. Gaming was supposed to be a getaway, but of late, Abel had found himself dead tired trying to beat the Hammerhead mission.

"Oh! Speaking of that, I did it!" Ben declared matter-of-factly.

"Did what?" Abel eyed his friend with a shadow of doubt. Dude could not mean he beat the Turf Wars? No, he couldn't... Knowing Ben, that would have been the first thing he mentioned when they met.

"The Hammerhead boss fight... I beat Hammerhead." There was nothing in Ben's voice to indicate he was joking; in fact, Abel, after scrutinizing him for a while, finally believed him.

"No way!" he exclaimed in awe. "That mission's a nightmare. How'd you manage it?"

Ben puffed out his chest proudly hearing the awe in his friend's voice. "Finisher move... To be honest, I did not expect it myself. I just waited until my combo was x999 before triggering it."

"Until what?..." Ben might as well have mentioned that he had been laid. "No way, man, I thought we were friends. How the hell did you reach a x999 combo? I can't even get past x100."

Ben cast an intent look at the floor as if he was trying to avoid meeting his friend's gaze, and right then, Abel knew why.

"You traitor," Abel spat as he came to a stop. "You did it... you watched tutorials." His accusing glare lingered over Ben, who looked like he wanted to disappear. A smug smile appeared on his fleshy cheek, but one could see he was trying to suppress the disappointment in what he had done.

"You can't blame me, man. I was tired of respawning only for the guy to kill me once more. Plus, I wanted to get more DLC already."

Abel's gaze softened; he, after all, knew how that felt from his own experience. He had not even reached the boss fight, but the Hammerhead minions kept pulling him from the air and killing him, forcing him to respawn. Perhaps he too should check out the tutorial.

"You should come over to our place and I will show you."

Abel hesitated, knowing full well that Ben's family wasn't exactly thrilled about him hanging out all the time. "Your dad's driver won't let me in again."

Ben waved off his concern. "As if we need his permission! We'll use the secret route through the garden like always."

Abel nodded, a little reassured by Ben's confidence. They continued down the corridor, the light chatter between them making the prospect of PE slightly less dreadful.

But as they turned the corner, Abel suddenly froze. Ben, noticing his friend's stiff posture, immediately assumed the worst. "Todd?" he whispered, his voice tight.

When he glanced at Abel's face, he noticed the tell-tale signs: the nervous rubbing of hands, a deep breath, and the way Abel puffed out his chest as if trying to make himself just a little bit taller.

Ben followed Abel's gaze and peeked around the corner. There she was, Jessica Menroe, the girl Abel had been hopelessly crushing on since the start of high school. Her golden hair framed her face perfectly, and her laughter echoed through the corridor like a melody. She was chatting with some friends, blissfully unaware of the torment she caused Abel every time he saw her.

Ben pulled back and looked at Abel with a pitying smile. "Dude, you're acting like you just spotted a boss fight in real life."

Abel's face flushed red. "What?"

Ben sighed, his tone mockingly wise. "I'm no expert, but you look like you're trying to convince yourself you've got a shot at winning this. Hate to break it to you, but you're about as likely to land a date with her as I am to replace Spidey as MJ's love interest."

Abel's shoulders slumped. "At least I have a crush on someone real. You've got zero chance of MJ dumping Peter for you, that is if she was real in the first place."

Ben laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "Touché. But your crush's boyfriend is the new quarterback. So, how's that for odds?"

Abel blinked in surprise. "Todd made the team? For real?"

Ben nodded. "As if there were ever any doubts about that."

Abel's face fell even further, and Ben quickly regretted his words. "Hey, don't worry about it. Remember, Peter Parker was a nerd too, and he still got the girl. You might not be shooting webs, but maybe you could ask her out? You're not that different from Spider-Man, really."

Abel actually considered it for a moment, his mind racing with the possibilities of Jessica's soft hands on his, strolling through a park. But then he sighed and shook his head. "Except I can't shoot webs. Know any zoos with radioactive spiders?"

A sadistic laugh echoed behind them, freezing them both in place. The sound was all too familiar, and Abel's heart sank as he turned around.

Todd Harding and his goons were there, their faces twisted into the usual smug expressions they wore whenever they cornered their prey. Todd was the ringleader, tall and broad-shouldered, with a mean streak that had made Abel's high school life a living hell.

"Did you hear that?" Todd sneered, his voice dripping with mockery. "Little pygmy here thinks he's Spider-Man."

The goons erupted into laughter, though it was clear they were only doing it because Todd expected them to. Abel could see it in their eyes; they didn't actually find Todd funny. But that didn't make it any less terrifying.

Abel's hands began to tremble, knowing what was coming next. Todd's laughter faded, and he stepped closer, his face inches from Abel's. "Well, little pygmy… Spider-Man is taken." He put on a fake crying face, then turned back to Abel, feigning sympathy. "Harsh, don't cry now. Tell you what, we'll get you another name."

He rubbed his beardless chin thoughtfully, then snapped his fingers as if he'd just had the world's greatest idea. "How about Poo Man?"

The goons erupted into another round of fake laughter, chanting "Poo Man" over and over like some twisted mantra. Abel's stomach churned with a mix of fear and humiliation.

Todd's hand shot out, grabbing Abel by the collar and pulling him up so that their faces were almost level. Abel hadn't realized just how tall Todd was until now, and he felt like a dwarf staring up at a giant.

"Now all we need is to get our hero a Poo Man costume," Todd said, a sadistic gleam in his eye.

Abel's blood ran cold as realization dawned on him. He knew exactly what Todd had in mind, and the fear of what was about to happen was almost paralyzing.

"To the gents, boys," Todd shouted.