New Digs

By the time James left it was basically early morning. And not feeling tired at all he thought this would be the best time to sign up for SPAM academy. James had been contemplating what to do for two weeks. In the end he concluded that working for SPAM was his best opportunity now.

He had received his college entrance test scores earlier this week. After rushing through three of his tests and completely missing the last two his score was terrible. Even local community colleges were out. Not because of the terrible score, but because he had completely blown off the last two tests without providing any sort of excuse.

A demerit was attached to his college aptitude test score. James hadn't know this was possible. Basically all it did was say that there was some problem with the score. It didn't directly say that he had missed two of the tests. But even without figuring out what the demerit meant pretty much every college and university outright prevented any applicants from applying with outstanding a demerit.

It made sense. Places of learning had to have some sort of pride. They couldn't let just anyone come to their school and free load. Or worse, corrupt the minds of their precious students. Also it was an easy way to whittle down the number of students they would consider. It could all come down to math in the end.

'Don't be so negative!'

Reminding himself to be more charitable to himself, James pushed through the doors of SPAM's training facility.

"Good morning! Welcome to SPAM's elite level train camp here in the Xia province."

An automated voice greeted him as he entered. There was something luxurious about the voice and the entrance had been set up so that there was no echo at all. The result was that James instinctively felt like the voice was speaking intimately into his ear. He almost felt like it was a real person.

In a gut level reaction, he quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking at him . And then he realized that he fell for it. This was obviously a recording and a setup to surprise first timers. Some security guard in a back office underground was probably having a chuckle.

As he approached the front desk a young man welcomed him again.

"Welcome to SPAM. Are you here to join our training camp?"

"… Yes."

James had always assumed that there was an application process and a set date for the beginning of the training. Instead it turned out that all he had to do was join. This wasn't a secret, but since it was common knowledge everyone assumed that everyone else knew. It would be embarrassing not to know.

"Great, just scan your details here and you can head back to your room. I will encode your door key to your phone. You can look up anything you need on this website that I just sent to you."

The young man was very practiced and was intently observing James like a predator ready to pounce. James could tell that he had an answer for any question that could possibly be asked and that basically any question had already been asked by other would be SPAMers.

"…Okay…"

Seeing James' hesitancy the young man nodded imperceptibly and gave out a reassuring smile.

"There are four things to know about SPAM camp. First you are free to leave at any time, you will receive two weeks of salary as an average of what you earned in the last three weeks. Second, you can do anything you want to your fellow campers and they can do anything to you short of death. Our healers are very good and are standing by to restore you to perfect health. Third you must attend the weekly SPAM lecture. It is only an hour and often dismisses early. Missing the lecture is okay, but your salary will be docked by half. Last, you will have a personal advisor who can advocate on your behalf for additional money and support for your activities. There are other rules and good things to know, but that should get you started. Welcome to SPAM camp!"

Because the young man was so practiced James came away feeling that he understood every word. The whole speech had been long, but the way it had been enunciated and the way certain words had been emphasized had led James to just nod.

Walking away from the front desk James followed the instructions on his phone. On his way he also clicked on the link provided by the young man and he was directed to download an app. Free all James had to do was click again and it started downloading. It only took a few seconds and then it opened to prompt him with a map and voice instructions on how to get to his new room. Which meant that he didn't have to worry about the texted instructions!

"Isn't this great!"

A voice greeted him as soon as he entered the designated door.

"… Yeah? What are you doing ... "

A phone conversation was in progress, but when James came in the call was wrapped up.

"Hi! I'm Ted. It is nice to meet you."

All smiles a young man one or two years older than James hopped off a top bunk and stuck out his hand to shake James'.

"Hey, Ted, I am James. It is nice to meet you too."

James had nothing against making friends.

"SPAM is so great! Everyone told me that SPAM was great, but I just wasn't ready. This is much better than I thought. Free food, there are three gyms, a track, a library, and the beast center! And so much more!"

Ted sounded like he was advertising for SPAM.

"Really, wow, I had no idea."

It was true, James had had no idea what SPAM training would be like.

"I am going to go check out the beasts in the beast center, do you want to come?"

Proposing an activity, Ted had a hopeful look on his face.

"… Sure why not?"

James really didn't want to do anything right that moment. Instead he wanted to take some time to himself to process this. There were too many new concepts in his world right this moment. But he also knew that this was one of those defining moments. A friendship with Ted would be harder to repair after rejecting this invitation.

"Great! Let's go."

On the way to the beast center Ted chatted nonstop about everything. Evidently he had just arrived this morning. Also it turns out that a new class started every week. Everyone that joined SPAM camp this week would be in his class. Usually about fifty people joined in a single week and Ted was proud of being the first to arrive. James was fifth he found out because three girls had joined before him. Despite being in the same class their dormitories were on the other side of campus.

Ted hadn't met them yet, but had been keeping track of the role which was posted in the app and also on the wall of their room. James could tell that he would basically be using this new app exclusively for as long as he was in SPAM camp.

"I wanted to be a programmer, but it wasn't as glorious as I thought it would be. So now I am giving SPAM a try."

Going on and on about his own life, James was learning all about Ted whether he wanted to or not. It wasn't too bad though. After weeks of isolating himself in his room James was happy to have someone to talk to.

At the beast center James immediately missed his family's bloodline detecting glasses. There were hundreds of animals. Even hundreds of animals of just one species in huge open air enclosures. Multiple species were all living together inside one.

Currently they were looking into a forested area. Various noises came from among the trees. Loud hoots and screeching echoed as they stood there. A very boisterous group of animals were obviously engaged passionately in various activities!