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My computer exploded, next thing I know, I'm in a new world with a system! Patre.on: patr.eon.com/MonkeyGodking
There I was, finishing the last chapter and 'Thank you' chapter for 'The Last Blood Elf'. At that moment, I was happy! I had finished my longest story so far and hopefully more in the future! I hit publish and smiled as the 'Publish Complete!' notification with green colored font appeared.
Out of nowhere, my computer exploded. Like EXPLODED, exploded, unluckily blowing my fucking head off in the process! And I know you're probably thinking, what kind of fucking computer do you have to get your head blown off?
Well, to answer your question. It's an Omen laptop, on which the 'A' key doesn't work. I had to but a separate key board just to finish my stories. I also had a new mouse with rainbow colored lights, every gamer's dream!
Anyway.
My good times were fucking robbed from me! I'm, rightfully, mad. Where did the massive explosion that took my head off my shoulders even come from? It was just a laptop for fuck sakes! You know what the worst part was?
I happened to grab my phone and unlock it, to go tell my Discord server that the last chap was out. Now the dirty, nasty, not for your mother's eyes, NSFW chat is available to anyone who makes it in to the phone in 5 minutes.
Considering an explosion went off in my room, I assume my mom went to go check it out. Not only does she have to see her headless son, but the immoral NSFW chat as well. It's like a cherry on top of a shit cake, speaking of cake... There was still come chocolate cake left over in the fridge.
FUCK!
You know, I'm not a lucky person. I was late to class once with 7 other people and the teacher only called me out. What a bitch, I knew she hated me. If you see this, I hate you... but you were pretty hot so... Well, anyway, you get the point.
I died.
Unjustly.
Abruptly.
Unwillingly.
But fortunately, some sort of 'God' was watching over me. I mean, I'm only assuming here. If I had evidence, I would let you know. Unfortunately, everything went black, I saw my corpse, and then white.
No bearded middle aged man with white clothes for me. Maybe, I would go to hell actually? Who knows. If it even exists anyway. So, here I was, standing in line with a bunch of other, what I can only assume from the novels I read, souls. Can you believe it? Neither can I.
I rubbed my eyes, only to realize that I'm an idiot for doing so because I was a ball of white light. I didn't have arms or legs, or eyes for that matter. The other balls of light... they just wouldn't understand.
I secretly hoped that one of them was the girl that rejected me 12 times over a period of 7 years. you know who you are. I can't believe I even liked that girl, she said 'Anime' the weird way. Like the same way a Japanese person who say it, what a loser!
Then again, I was dead, so wasn't the true loser me? No, no, bad thoughts. Supreme confidence was required in the next life, must be more confident than the young masters in Cultivation Novels! Ha... Just a joke, I don't want to get slapped by a wandering Main Character.
If you asked me, what I thought of my life, I would have to say 'Boring.' I mean let's face it, wake up, write, listen to music, eat, watch some anime or read some manga, write, eat, watch YouTube till I fell asleep.
Just like everybody else.
If I had a mouth, I would sigh.
Truthfully, I'm pretty sure I was a Psychopath. I mean, I did a test with my Ex online. Normally people get 70% or 40% and joke 'Haha I'm a Psychopath Heehee haha hoohoo' yeah I was laughing all the way, until I got a 99%.
My Ex at the time laughed and joked 'Oh don't kill me~' I laughed along but really if she made such a terrible joke again I just might do it. God, she was annoying, I really hated her. Like really a lot. The honeymoon phase was fun, then it ended. So did my lust.
Not that I couldn't stay committed. It was more like, I finally saw who she really was. UGH. Basically the most toxic human being you'll ever meet. Apparently, it was my fault she didn't have friends. I put up with her because, honestly, I felt obligated to. We had been together for 2 years already, she was ultra clingy.
When I ended it, I felt free! Finally. Unfortunately, she went off the deep end. Not that it was my problem. I wouldn't say I have 0 empathy, but the well being of others has hardly ever outweighed my own self interests. I think that's what Howard Stark said in Endgame right? I can't fucking remember anyway.
Anyway, after that trainwreck of putting up with mental abuse for 4 years.
I was single and free! Contrary to popular belief, not all authors are fat and sweaty, or weak and skinny. I was a top athlete going to college to, hopefully, get a Law Degree in the end. I also played Hockey, man I loved playing. The rush of adrenaline, the cold wind slamming against my face, the constant awareness to avoid getting destroyed by another player, the intelligence required to make good plays, and the fights.
Ugh.
The only time I felt happy was on the Ice, playing games. Wasn't a huge practice guy. Though, I guess that's why I wasn't drafted professionally. Sigh. A massive disappointment. My best friend of 11 years was a professional.
Being compared to him at every turn really felt amazing.
'He's in the NHL, look at you.'
'He's making millions, what are you doing?'
'Get a job or get out of my house.'
Lovely.
Fantastic.
Despite the way my parents yell at me, I still like them. I guess you could even say 'Love'. Whatever that even means. What was love really? I'm really smart, but applying myself? Ha... You're funny. I didn't study a day in my life and got high 80s. Extremely lazy, was probably my biggest flaw.
Also, the Psychopathic tendencies and the clear insanity. Talking to myself and answering was normal, making jokes and laughing at them was par for the course. Does that make me the Joker? Hopefully, the comic one. The Movie one was just sad.
I mean, really. If it wasn't called 'Joker' would you even go watch it? Don't lie to yourself, okay? I know you wouldn't, I wouldn't have wasted 10$ plus 40$ for snacks. Completely not my money by the way.
So really in the end, I don't care how expensive it was.
So back to my life story, right! How did I end up getting blown up by a computer. Well, let me tell you friend. My so-called 'freedom' from the Toxic-Ex was indulging in debauchery and becoming a literal waste of a human being.
Writing actually gave me a bit of excitement.
But really who cares about me, first of all, I'm dead. Second of all, I'm most likely a Psychopath. I mean, internet tests are bullshit, but fuck! 99% some of that percentage has to be backed by facts, right?
Regardless, if you say I was a bad person, I would disagree. I never cheated on my Ex. I'm a faithful man! That, and I was completely enamored by another woman, who couldn't even spare a moment of her day to talk to me.
I'm not complaining actually. I mean, heh, I'm not one of those morons that think because I talk to a girl they're obligated to have feelings and relations with me. But, that doesn't mean I'm not irked. I'm still salty about it. We were friends since high school. I was the beta idiot moron, who introduced her to his friends.
Who said nice guys finish last? It was completely wrong, they don't finish at all. If anything, they finish first with their hands. Unreal, I just made an amazing quote. I'm proud of my soul brain.
So, me, the complete.. well, I'm not going to say cuck because we were never a couple and I literally beat the shit out of a guy that looked at my Ex, even though I didn't really have feelings for her. Let's just say, moron. I like that.
Anyway, my moronic ass, introduced her to my friend. In highschool. One of my BEST friends. Let's call him, X. Wouldn't you know it? X and the girl, whom I stupidly served as a queen, got together. Bang, there goes her virginity. Crack. That was my heart.
But of course, what was I supposed to say? I'm in love with your girlfriend? Right, yeah, for sure. So I congratulated them with a smile on my face and a bleeding heart. I was really angry at the time, she acted like she had no clue, I knew she knew what she was doing.
This was my first impulse to stab someone to death.
Chalked it up to teenage hormones, I mean killing people was illegal! Haha. Right... Anyway.
They dated for 2 years, then hallelujah! My prayers were heard by the God that didn't exist! They broke up over some stupid reason, I don't remember and don't care. Naturally, I kept contact with both of them. X was pretty shaken up about the entire thing, it could be seen that he cared for her a lot.
So, taking a knife and stabbing myself in the heart, I did what any good friend would do and tried to get them back together for X's sake. What a joke, I wanted to kill them both. Anyway, my efforts bore fruit and they got back together again for a few months before splitting for good, not on speaking terms.
I was still friends with both of them, so they slowly got used to each other's presence with my moronic ass keeping them at bay. Anyway, Highschool passed and I went to a boarding school for hockey.
I lost contact with all my friends, occasionally talking to the girl and hanging out with her every time I came back home. Anyway, my best friend of 11 years, the professional Hockey player, would come over to my house every now and then to hang out and practice in my basement. I had synthetic ice in there, though now it's a storage room.
So, he came over and sometimes the girl would come over and their visiting times would coincide. Let's call my friend, H. I introduced H to the girl and smiled happily, feeling like I was getting somewhere, you know I was extremely patient and kind. Very frustrating times.
As expected, by anyone with a brain, H and the girl got together. I smiled widely, so wide in fact that I'm pretty sure something snapped in my head. So the same thing happened all over again, fool me once shame on me, fool me twice fuck you.
So, basically that's what happened. I secluded myself, gradually not talking to anyone. A few years later, I was playing Hockey away from home, hooking up with girls without meaning, drinking, smoking, and throwing my life directly into the garbage.
Self-destructive behavior? Most likely, I won't deny it. It wasn't good. Most importantly I wasn't happy, I constantly felt bored with just life in general. One of my friends took his own life, I went to his funeral and didn't feel a single thing.
It wasn't me. I became extremely selfish. I happened to see my Ex at the funeral. I fucked her and went back to where I was playing Hockey at, never talking to her again. Finally, I came back home and happened to see the girl again.
We went to a McDonalds and had a meal together, it was mostly her ranting about her new boyfriend, who cheated on her, to me. I swallowed it all with a smile, dead on the inside.
I even paid for the food with the abysmal amount of money I had. That was fun. There was still hope deep, deep, inside my heart. A little fire that refused to go out, saying that maybe this was finally my shot at a stable relationship.
The fire was doused out when she got back with the guy who cheated on her, telling me about how great he was and how he apologized to her for everything. Great! Amazing! Is your sole purpose in life to make my life hell?
Most likely.
I must've been Hitler in my last life.
After that, any sort of liking or love for that girl vanished into thin air. I holed myself in my room and wrote stories, reflecting my feelings and personality into the characters in bits and pieces. Now that I think about it, my deepest desire to be loved was probably expressed in them as well.
After I started writing, I only communicated with my family. Even then, barely any contact and more me annoying them to get any reaction from them whatsoever to soothe my ego and mental state.
When I met the girl again, my mouth didn't even form a smile. The conversation was short and sweet 'Hey. Good. Good for you. Amazing. Bye. I will.' though it was more towards everybody than just specifically her, I guess you could say she was a reason why I became who I was.
Maybe, I was just retarded. Maybe, she liked playing around with me. I don't know and, to be honest, I don't care. I was already aggressive enough as it was, my first reaction towards meeting someone new was 'What if I just killed them right now?'
I sighed to myself, I only killed one thing on purpose in my life and it was a dying deer that jumped into the road. I took out a knife, as it was the only thing I had on me at the time, as stabbed it right in the neck. I don't know if it felt pain, I'm not a killing expert. I wasn't even sure the knife would go through it's skull.
Basically, I killed it faster than it would have died if it was left there.
I had a rush before doing it but when I did it, I felt nothing. No sadness, no remorse, no happiness, no adrenaline, nothing. One of my friends who was driving with me was white as a ghost. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore.
Killing didn't excite me, though I wouldn't test it again on a human being. That's illegal. Plus, if I feel nothing and go to jail, wouldn't I have made a huge loss?
Anyway, then I started writing more and more.
Now we're caught up.
Let me tell you what happened in the white space. There was a line of balls of light, I can only assume they were souls. It seemed I was lucky or something because all the other balls of light were stiffly moving forward through a light screen.
I guess they wash your memories away? That won't do. I had a shit life but without memories, who the fuck am I? I 'saw' a black void portal with a bunch of humanoid golden souls and a basket of glowing orbs, along with a desk and a man.
I was stunned, I got in the wrong fucking line!? Turns out these lucky bastards are being isekai'd. I was burning with jealousy. I refused to be another nameless soul. No! This world owed me! My life has been nothing but shit and some cocksucker gets hit by a truck and gets to reincarnate with memories?
Yeah fucking right.
I struggled in soul form, apparently they haven't had this situation before. I floated with all my might that I didn't know I had as my soul started turning grey-ish. Someone shouted "Rogue soul!"
I laughed, oh wait, no I didn't. I didn't have a mouth. I laughed in my mind. Much better. Good, we got this. We? I meant, I got this. Damn insanity acting up again.
I flew and smashed into a golden soul, I turned gold and humanoid, grabbed a light orb, ate it and jumped into the black void portal. I turned around and flipped the, now ball of light, soul the bird and disappeared.
I hope I don't get isekai'd into a shitty world.
