Ducks in a row.

"You look like you've seen things..." I looked at the haunted expression on Julia's face as she and Quentin returned in the morning.

I played innocent but I knew exactly what had happened.

Julia powerwalked up to me as soon as she saw me and grabbed me by the arms, staring hollow into my eyes.

"Can you remove my memories?"

"Unusual request, but okay?"

"Do it! Now!" She ordered.

"Whoa, lady. Take it slow. I need some details... " I pulled out a contract and my UNO deck as I began shuffling.

"... And a contract. Nothing comes for free. Especially when you tried to murder me a while back."

"What do you want?" She asked, vitriol in her voice but a dead look in her eyes that all but gave away her desperation.

"Are those UNO cards?" Quentin asked.

"Yes, Quentin. Great observation." I flipped my wrist as a cookie appeared in my hand, "Here. Have a cookie." I said in a condescending manner.

"Asshole." He frowned.

Still took the cookie though.

I smiled and turned to Julia.

"I want three things."

The contract unfurled on it's own as writing began to appear on it.

"You will never reveal any of my secrets.

You will never steal from me, directly or indirectly, intentionally or otherwise.

And you will do one thing I ask.

No questions asked.

No protests given.

No loopholes or malice."

"In return, you will remove my memories."

"When you give me the details on exactly what memories you want gone."

Aittle more negotiating and some details later we signed the contract and I gestured her to take a seat and wait.

"Another contract?" Margo asked as she yawned, "Coffee?"

"On the table." I pointed.

She nodded and poured herself a cup as she eyed the two.

"How did the petition go? Umber and Ember give you their divine assistance?"

Quentin took a deep breath, preparing himself.

"Well... Umber is... Dead. The Beast killed him."

"Pfft... What?" I burst out laughing, "No he did not."

"Ember seemed pretty sure." Quentin said.

I put up tighter wards, and added in my forcefield for good measure before I spoke.

"Ember is an idiot. If gods were so easy to kill, there wouldn't be any gods left. The Beast probably just banished Umber from Fillory."

"So you can't kill gods but you can banish them?" Julia leaned in, listening with great interest.

"Yeah. It's not easy either, but it's possible. You just need a lot of magic. And the blood of the god you want to banish, along with some other odds and ends."

"And you have the spell for it?"

I narrowed my eyes.

"Why do you care?"

"I.... Can you give it to me?"

"Once again.... Not for free. And probably not at all. I need the spell myself. I only have one set of ingredients for it after all."

"To banish that evil god, in that quest you were talking about?"

"Yeah. Reynard The Fox."

Julia visibly shivered at the mention of his name.

"Some idiots summoned him a couple of days back. It was a total mess. I've got a guy on the job. I'll need to get back to him and on it once we get back." I explained.

"Is that guy by any chance.... one John Gaines?"

Margo raised an eyebrow.

"The senator?"

"Former senator. But yes." I turned to Julia, acting confused.

"You met him-Oh." I acted like I just realised it.

"Please tell me you didn't summon an evil god to Earth."

Margo looked at Julia alarmed when she heard me.

Julia for part began to shake nervously, tears pooling in her eyes.

"I... We... We didn't know. We thought-"

"He has killed 89 people in three days, Julia. Kids. And entire elementary school field trip. Gone. Hearts torn out."

Alice almost choked on the sausage she was eating as she sent Julia a horrified look.

"That's horrible." She muttered.

"That is fucked up is what it is." Penny added.

I nodded.

"If the Beast situation didn't have our lives and the fate of Fillory dependant on it, I'd have gone for Reynard first thing. So tell me. What were you thinking?"

"And here I thought you couldn't fuck up more." Margo gave her a disgusted look.

"You wouldn't understand. We just wanted to help. We didn't mean to-"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I told her, "Doesn't make hell any more bearable. But fine. No point playing the blame game."

"Talk about yourself. I'm blaming her. Like you should." Margo disagreed.

I sighed.

"I will deal with him in time. But first, let's talk Beast." I turned to Quentin, "Did you get the god essence?"

"Yeah but it's not what you-" Quentin ruffled through his pockets.

"It's semen, yes?" I said, shocking him as he pulled out a small flask of white liquid.

"How did you know?" He asked.

"Common sense?" I replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "It's a common symbol in religions across the world. Makes sense he'd give it via semen."

"Oh." He scratched his head awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it. Give it here." I said, apporting the flask to my hand before stowing it away into my bag when Yue came back from the the garden.

"The satellite is in place." She told me as she jumped into my lap and nuzzled into my chest.

"Thanks."

I smiled and kissed her head.

I had sent her to launch the satellite in the backyard earlier this morning.

And now, it was all ready.

"Okay then. Guys, we leave in an hour. Let's finish up here and get back home. I have a mess to clean up."

"Whatever. Just call me when it's time." He picked up his plate and walked out.

"I need time to process this. I'll meet you back in an hour." Alice left too.

I nodded.

"Quentin, Julia. You two get some rest. You've been gone the whole night."

"My memories.... " Julia interrupted.

"Hm? Oh right." I shuffled the cards one last time before pulling out a blank card and activated my nen ability.

"Drop your wards and personal enchantments. The ritual will clash with them otherwise." I lied.

I just didn't want her to get a sense of my ability.

"A ritual with UNO cards?" Quentin asked.

"It's symbolic. Could have been blank post it notes for all I care." I began to form a false perception of my power.

Just to make sure Margo and Eliot didn't suspect me.

After they had signed their contracts, after another night of heavy drinking, I had returned Eliot and Margo's stolen memories of our first night drinking together as well as the memories of the two guards I had mind wiped, freeing up all my blank cards.

They hadn't questioned it yet but I'm taking no chances.

Now, I just placed the blank card against Julia's temple and pushed my nen into her and made up the next step of this 'ritual'.

"Do you offer me the sacrifice of your memories?" I asked.

"Yes." She replied.

"No, you have to say it properly."

"I offer you the sacrifice of my memories." She said.

"Under the eye of Ek Chuah, god of merchants, chocolate and destruction, we humbly request this."

And with that, I let my ability work it's magic as the card filled up with the past nine hours of her memory while I stealthily applied another patch on her memories.

Seconds later, her eyes drooped and she fell prone on the sofa, asleep.

"She'll wake up in about six hours." I assured a worried Quentin.

Quentin nodded and sat down beside her, resting his eyes.

They had both walked a long way.

They needed their sleep.

Just as I planned.

The fewer people awake when I make my slip, the better.

"A mayan ritual? Tribute to Ek Chuah?" Margo guessed.

"A variation. Yeah. Got it from Ek Chuah himself." I lied.

"Get out." She gasped.

"Yeah. Beat him in UNO. So now... " I shook the deck in my hand.

"So that bit about post it notes?"

"Still true. I made my own variation of the spell. I just use the cards for... Ironic purposes." I grinned.

"Uhun?" She said looking back at Julia.

"I still don't like that she gets to walk away after what she did."

"Neither do I but I signed a contract."

"Yeah, I get it. Just don't like it."

I shrugged.

"Nothing we can do about it. Now if you don't mind...." I tapped my glasses, pretending to open up a menu and got up, grabbing Yue under my arm like a yoga mat, "I'll go double check the orbital laser. See that it's calibrated and shit. See you in an hour?"

"Sure. I'll wake Eliot up by then." Margo waved me goodbye as I teleported away to a small clearing in the Darkling Woods and put her down.

"Is it time?" Yue asked, getting to her feet.

I grinned.

"Yup. All our ducks are in a row. I have all that I need for now." I pulled out the god jizz and put it inside a portable reality anchor I had built in preparation for this day.

Reality warper flesh battery check.

"We can come back for the divine keys later. For now, let's raise some hell. Murder some gods. And speedrun the shit out of this. We have to be back here in an hour after all. Are you ready?"

Yue giggled cutely and grabbed my hand.

"I'm ready when you are, dear." She gathered her magical energy at her fingertips, arcs of lightning crackling across them, ready to rumble.

Hehehehheheh!

I have waited too long for this.

"Alright. Let's do this." I squeezed her hand as a warmth bubbled up in my chest.

Everything was coming together.

And soon, I would be ready for the next phase of my plans.

I gave Yue one last look and planted a kiss on her forehead before locking onto the wellspring.

And in an instant, we disappeared.

And the speedrun to apotheosis began.

___________________

Next time, finally, the mc goes into full action mode.

Thanks for reading.

Bye!