comet

Space is approximately 13.8 billion years old.

***

The first time I had a panick attack, I was 12.

Aster found me sitting outside on the steps of Edenville. My face had been wet with tears and my mind was full of the humiliating words of my classmates.

Such a freak.

I had looked up at her, thinking through the pain of my closing throat,how she sparkled in the sun and how she radiated grace and light. She was my saviour, her blonde hair tied up and her blue eyes looking worriedly at me.

" Daphne, hey come on, Daphne, calm down. Listen to my voice okay" she knelt down beside and me tried to comfort me, telling me to calm down and listen to her. I don't know where she got her next idea from but it was helpful.

I didn't just know it was something I'll have to do to keep my sanity intact

" Okay touch my pulse, breath every time it pulses, you can do it daph. Calms Daphne" she thrust her hand into mine and led my fingers to the pulse at her wrist. I followed what she had ordered and could feel my breath slowly become normal again. Her pulse made soft pounding movements and I followed it until I could breathe normally

She rubbed my hair lightly with her fingers before giving me a light hug. "What happened? You scared me daph" her voice sounded so little. I was ashamed. I made her worried. She cared for me and she was scared for me.

For me. Daphne the Edenville freak

I told her about it. I couldn't keep anything from her. I told her how I was mocked from the minute I entered school about the Hufflepuff t-shirt I'd worn that day and the colorful painted with markers sneakers I had felt proud about. Being a twelve years old female meant we had to start changing our ways. Light lipgloss, tank tops and low waisted jeans and a cute pair of wedges. It was something everyone was to follow to mean something.

To be someone.

They called it maturity, my parents called it a trend

Following trends was something my parents refused to let me go through, talking about how I didn't want it to feel good about myself but to feel good about being someone else.

They'd only allow it if I honestly wanted it. I wasn't going let them spend on something I wouldn't like

They knew it was something I didn't want deep down. Truly, I enjoyed my Harry Potter clothes, the camp half-blood t-shirts,and the DIY converse filled with markers of different colors.

"Whenever something like that happens again, I want you to touch your pulse, okay little sis. In fact I never want to see you like that okay?" She demanded when id finish catching my breath and started thinking more clearly. My face flushed when I saw her angry she was.

I didn't think it will work if I touched mine. Something about Aster always calmed me down. From her light laugh, to her geeky tendencies. Aster was someone you just has to love by just seeing her.

"It's not like I can control it" I said hotly. I had never gotten a panick attack before and I was sure this wasn't going to be the last. I voiced out my thoughts to her

" Daphne, you've got to stop listening to them. You just pull yourself up and ignore them"

I got angry " easy for you to say, everyone loves you okay?. No one calls you a freak, or fat" I spat out.

For two years I'd been adding weight as a growing child and it didn't mean anything at first until some comments started clearing through. From adults, friends of my parents and then my own friends.

" Daph, chill okay? This isn't about that. I get your angry but you shouldn't let those comments get to you. We're children. We say stupid things. It'll all end when they realize how awesome, and smart and great you are" she sloppily kissed my cheek making me spill out laughter. I loved Aster and she loved me too

I believed her then. I always did.

***

It was dinner time and I had no appetite. I could tell from my parents faces that today was another hard day for them.

Actually everyday was hard for them since the night it happened.

My dad plucked a green pea into his mouth and faced me " how was your day?"

Bad?

Interestingly demonic?

I know a hot guy who is actually speaking to me?

I joined my astronomy class. You know the one I vowed never to get back into?

" It was okay" I shrugged a little, pushing in the steak to prevent answering questions. Which was another mistake because I felt like throwing up.

It's not like I didn't like my parents. I loved them dearly. But we couldn't just ignore the pain that basically sat in the chairs of our hearts. I thank them for not separating because it happens for married couples who loose a child, but it's just weird without aster. She was like the sunny glue that held the whole family together. She wasn't just my sun, she was ours.

" I heard you joined your astronomy class. I'm proud of you sweet" my dad said, he's Sandy brown hair a little like mine and the chocolate colored eyes that we shared.

Sweet was something he'd started calling me when I turned five after I exclaimed that I wanted to be candy when I grew up. It became the running joke in the family, used every time to tease me. My dad hadn't used that name in 2 years.

"Yes, Mr David's talked to me" he also gave me alot of assignments and the school plan for this past two years. Oh let's not forget he gave me Ajax king who was yet to start the lessons I was forced to have.

"And you have a tutor?" My mom spoke up for the first time that evening. She'd been watching me since which I of course ignored.

"Yeah, this guy in school. My class" I said looking down, avoiding eye contact with her. My mum loves to critically analyze people and that's what she's doing to me. "Mom? Dad? I'm just really tired and not hungry and I've got piles of assignments to do. I love you, goodnight "

I stood up before they could object even though I knew they would let me go, though I knew I couldn't avoid them for long.

By the time I got to my room, I opened my laptop going over to my gallery. There was an album entitled to Aster simmers and it was my most prized possession.

I spent a full year getting this together before everything and not even my parents or Aster knew about it.

Vibrations moved against my leg from my phone, I brought it out and when I did I wished I could go back in time or something.

Ajaxking@gmail.com to daphne2simmers@gmail.com

> What makes the stars stand out.

I stared at my phone wondering if I was imagining things.

After a few moments of uncertainty I replied

Daphne2simmers@gmail.com to ajaxking@gmail.com

< How did you get my email

ajaxking@gmail.com to daphne2simmers@gmail.com

> Do you expect me to tell you? Answer the questions. It's part of our tutoring session

daphne2simmers@gmail.com to ajaxking@gmail.com

< Im blocking you. Sorry. Really am.

ajaxking@gmail.com to daphne2simmers@gmail.com

> No please don't. Just answer the question. It's important.

I didn't answer, instead I chucked my phone into my bedside table and collapsed on my bed, that question swirling round until it became one big dream.