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Headed by a Snake

I woke up in this world with a System and a sword. Without hesitation, I chose to complete the princess’ quest with my weapons: Arrogance. Cunning. Pride. I will lead guild Sol Invictus. Denizens of the 7 hells, respect me. Servants of the 11 heavens, know fear. Guild Invictus, know the suffering of training so you can wrest victory from the jaws of those who dare doubt you. This is a story about a snake named Tycondrius waking up in a fantasy world of swords and sorcery. There is action, violence, unapologetic murder, and arrogant displays of power. There is an emphasis on combat growth as well as psychological growth on more than a few members of Guild Invictus. There is camaraderie and also the inevitable comedic dialogue amongst manly men. There are even elements of romance and Tycon running away from terrifying, powerful women. (Did you know most female snakes eat their partners after mating?) Give this book a read. I hope some of these stories can inspire you to fight your battles with analytical intelligence, heroic courage, and ruthless lethality. Work is completed as of 9May2024. There's also a few side-stories written in Chapter 1151! The Author is working on a new story called 'I Wish You Were Never Reborn.' After four or so years of writing, my skills have much improved. Highly recommend. Here is my discord: https://discord.gg/NNbAj7N Constructive criticism and corrections welcome. Other Authors extra-welcome. You can find a list of characters at https://snek.fandom.com/wiki/Character_List Cover image credit: Johnabrash at Fiverr

CouchSurfingDragon · Fantasie
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1152 Chs

The Strength of a Business Degree

When Tycon re-entered the room, Seldin Korr stood up rigidly, though a worried gaze drifted to the fallen and unconscious Guard Captain Varen.

Sorina's concern was more apparent. "Is Uncle Varen going to be okay?" She asked.

Tycon raised an eyebrow. So those two were related? He supposed that could make things easier... if that useless Captain Varen wouldn't so brazenly sleep on the job. 

...But he did have brain damage... and Tycon felt slightly guilty about it. He decided not to punish the old man. 

"A momentary distraction, Miss Sorina. Your 'Uncle Varen' is made of sterner stuff, after all, he's an Iron--"

« System, inquiry: What rank is that Varen fellow? »

[System response: Varen, Bronze-Rank Warrior]

"--uh... an Iron-willed veteran. He'll be fine."

Probably. 

Sorina wrung her hands and puffed her cheeks in response. Seldin narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Dozens of spiders and millipedes with faces were crawling out of his mouth," she said coolly, though Tycon noticed her voice quavered with the word 'millipedes.'

"...Rare delicacies from the western lands." Tycon said without hesitation. "They're an acquired taste."

The two women glanced at each other dubiously.

Seeing their skepticism, Tycon offered, "Would you like to try?"

The two of them paled in an instant.

"N-no, thank you, Sir," Sorina fidgeted. 

Seldin Korr narrowed her eyes, "Not a chance, my lord." 

Bucket, who listened patiently and went largely forgotten, raised his hand, "Can I try?"

"No, Bucket. Dear gods, no. (Maybe when you're older.) I've a task for you," Tycon tossed him a small pouch of silver, "Go out and make sure Dragan's okay. Then take him to town and help Barza with resupply."

Bucket missed the catch, but hurriedly picked up the pouch and fallen coins. "Okay, Sir!" he yelled as he rushed out the door.

What a clumsy child-- but he was eager to do perform. 

Tycon turned his attention to Seldin and Sorina, "Let's have a seat. I have something to discuss, with the both of you."

...

A silver-haired maid served tea and ornate, miniature cakes. Tycon glanced above her head and gave a professional smile.

"Thank you, Miss Pascale. I appreciate your expertise on the sponge cakes and how ours are different from the traditional Alizeaun 'fraisier.' I can clearly discern your love for the craft."

The maid glanced up, clearly surprised, "Y-you know my name, lord?"

Tycon laughed politely, "Yes. You introduced yourself this morning. How could I possibly forget?"

Whenever Tycon learned a person's name, the System conveniently placed it onto a floating, transparent display above their head. It was quite possibly the System's most convenient feature.

"May I ask why you're working here?" Tycon asked.

"Oh! My lord... I've always wanted to be a baker, since a trip to Merylsward when I was about 10."

"Have you learned much, since being here?"

"Well, Sir... Sometimes I get chased away from the kitchens when I eavesdrop with the other apprentices."

"Nonsense, Miss Pascale. Inform Patissier Noel that on my order, you are to learn with the other apprentices. I pray you will not disappoint, young lady."

"Oh, of course, my lord-- I mean, I would never, my lord."

The maid blushed and averted her gaze (which Tycon thought was happening far too frequently) and hurriedly excused herself.

Sorina ate her dessert quickly, enjoying every bite. The Kingdom's pastries were easily the best in the continent, after all. Seldin carefully watched Tycon's interactions as she tried her best to leave her slice of cake alone. Unfortunately for her, Tycon noticed she would sneak quick, subtle glances down at the strawberry-topped, strawberry-filled dessert.

The young Seldin Korr didn't seem too honest with herself. 

And so, Tycon stretched out the polite conversation with Sorina until Seldin's willpower finally failed her. She consumed her dessert swiftly and without mercy, leaving her tiny plate clean and spotless.

"I will be assigning--" Tycon glanced above the girl's head, "Lady Sorina Capulet as financial officer and the chief executive of the estate. Miss Capulet, you will only be subordinate to me."

"S-sir Tycon," Sorina lost her usual perkiness and began to stutter, "I h-have a boyfriend."

Tycon rolled his eyes back so hard, he leaned back in his chair.

"Seven hells, I'm not trying to bed you, woman. Have some self-respect!"

"Oh... O... kay."

Seldin twisted her lips to the side, "Who's your boyfriend?"

Sorina gazed dreamily out of a nearby window, "Y-you don't know him, Miss Seldin. He lives far away... in the future."

Tycon continued, "On the morrow, Guild Invictus will be leaving towards the Mosswood Wilds to train near the base of the Icehorn Mountains for a season. Before winter, I plan to head to the northern port of Caractere."

Seldin nodded, "The Mosswood is a dangerous place... I lost my eye there." She brushed her bangs to the side, revealing the scar on her face and her glass eye.

Tycon nodded, making a mental note of it. 

"What will you be doing over there?" Sorina asked. 

"That's classified information, for now, young lady. I haven't even instructed Guild Invictus' main body," Tycon assured her. 

The scroll he had, closed with the royal seal, had detailed the quest... but due to its contents, he would keep it as need-to-know information. 

"Miss Korr, I'll have you stay here with Sorina as her guard."

Seldin widened her eyes in surprise before she looked down at her empty plate, disappointed.

"I understand, my lord. A broken woman like me has no place in the field."

Sorina began glaring at Tycon.

...Did she really say that? Really? Tycon screamed in his mind. And why was the Capulet glaring at him? Those two didn't even know each other before today. 

"Miss Korr, you're a very attractive woman, you're obviously very health-conscious, and you're still of marriageable age. If you like, I can easily find you a dozen bachelors that would literally fight to the death in seeking your hand."

Tycon's rapid-fire reassurance seemed to lift Seldin's mood, "I need you here because I respect your achievements, I trust in your abilities as a guard, and lastly, as you're a woman of intelligence, you're the only one I would trust to guide and complement Sorina's strengths. Now, will you accept this assignment, Miss Korr?"

Seldin Korr nodded shyly in acquiescence. Tycon thought he could hear her heartbeat begin to race, but he desperately hoped he was wrong.

"Now wait a second, Sir Tycon," Sorina stood up. "What if I don't want to manage the estate-- I want to go adventuring with you!"

Tycon began to cry internally. He glanced to the door, wishing he had resuscitated Varen instead of leaving him to collect dust in the main hall. Maybe the old man could talk some sense into the girl.

Tycon nodded, looking down, "Very well, Miss Capulet. Before I can accept you on our expedition, I'd like to ask you a few questions:"

"Hard work and DETERMINATION!"

Tycon frowned, "That... wasn't an answer to any of my questions, Miss Capulet."

The girl sat down obediently, "Oh, go ahead, Sir Tycon. I'm ready."

Tycon took a deep breath and steepled his fingers, facing the young woman.

« System, inquiry: What is Sorina Capulet's class? »

[System response: Sorina Capulet, Bronze-Rank Calculator.]

That was... an incredibly rare class. It had a slow growth-rate, but if Sorina ever ranked up to Gold, she could join the main combat team for some niche strategies. 

Tycon nodded, sizing up the young woman, For now, she'd be more effective operating logistics than in the field. If Guild Invictus doesn't have to worry about finances in the long-term, they'd be able to expand with fewer issues.

"Miss Capulet," Tycon began, "the last mission we completed for the Adventurer's Guild gave us 800 silver--"

Seldin's eyes widened in surprise for a moment. Clearly, she was surprised by the abilities of Guild Invictus.

"--How do you propose we budget our expenses?"

Sorina thought for a moment before responding, "Well, there's zero-based budgeting, then there's value-proposition, which is similar, and then there's incremental budgeting, which takes the previous period as baseline for what we can spend on. So with zero-based--"

Tycon raised a hand to stop her, "Th-that's good, Miss Capulet."

He began to sweat, facing the pressure of a Bronze-Rank Calculator... With only the rumors to go on, he had grossly underestimated the Class' domineering nature...

Tycon gulped, his throat parched. He was uncertain he wanted to continue. The fire in Sorina's eyes daunted him more than any beast he could imagine facing. He picked up his ceramic teacup and sipped his tea, deliberately stalling for time.