"It looks like the sort of moustache that a porn star would have" Harry replied "with that being said, don't you dare get rid of it"
"Oh good, he takes after Lily" James commented
"Lily, James, it's good to see you" Dumbledore re-entered the conversation and smiled his signature grandfather smile.
"Oh, you're still here" Harry said in a disappointed tone
"Gentlemen" Dumbledore said to the healers "could we perhaps have a moment alone?" The healers, not the sort of people to question Albus Dumbledore, left the room.
"Hello Professor" James said "by the way, do you know where Adrian is?"
"Yes, where's Adrian?" Lily asked
"Probably getting sent hate glares from everyone who's currently at Hogwarts" Harry said before Dumbledore could reply
"What do you mean?" James asked
"Oh, it's simple really" Harry replied "Adrian hasn't been that popular since that time he nearly killed me and Remus"
"What?!" Both adult Potters shouted
"Mr Potter, you know that's not true" Dumbledore said
"Really?" Harry said with fake confusion "Because I remember getting punched, kicked, stabbed, thrown through a window and Remus getting stabbed"
"You were stabbed?!" An alarmed Lily exclaimed
"Let me explain" Remus said "I'm currently a professor at Hogwarts. I was teaching the class about boggarts. Harry's girlfriend, Daphne Greengrass, came up to me"
"You have a girlfriend?" James asked with a hint of pride in his voice
"Best looking girl in the school" Harry grinned
"I'm sensing a theme here" Sirius commented
"Anyway" Remus continued "she told me that Harry and his friend didn't want to participate, Adrian pushed Harry into the boggart when I was distracted. The boggart transformed and then knocked Harry's wand out of his hand and attacked him, I tried to stop the two but then the boggart had injured me. Fortunately Harry was able to stop it."
"Ah yes, while we're on that topic, I was wondering if you could tell me about your boggart" Dumbledore said to Harry
"I'd rather not" Harry refused "perhaps we could talk about how badly you've messed up"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Mum" Harry took a step back and looked at his mother "did you know that after you were put in a coma, Dumbledore had taken Adrian and basically left him alone in a giant mansion with nothing but presents and house elves while sending me to the Dursley's in all of his 'infinite wisdom'" Harry couldn't have said the last two words with more sarcasm if he tried.
"What?!" Lily turned to Dumbledore and the old man was grateful that the redhead didn't currently have a wand on her "you sent him to Vernon and Petunia?!"
"Now, now Lily" Dumbledore tried to calm the girl
"Hey mum, did you know that they used to make me sleep in a cupboard?" Harry interrupted
"They what?!" Anger filled the redheaded woman
"The cupboard under the stairs, also known as my bedroom" Harry replied "and to think, he wanted to keep me there"
"Are you out of your mind?!" Lily stormed at the aging headmaster "What were you thinking?! Putting one son in a mansion while you put the other in hell?! Were you on drugs at the time?!"
"I'd be surprised if he wasn't currently on drugs" Harry commented "I mean, look at those robes, what more evidence do you need?"
"There's nothing wrong with my robes" Dumbledore defended his purple and starry robes
"They're going to be on fire if I don't get my answers!" Lily growled
"Now Lily, I'm sure that young Harry is just exaggerating and …"
"Did you know that they starved me?" Harry interrupted "Starved, hit me, rarely let me wash, just treated me like a house elf who was incapable of doing his job. And to think, he wanted to keep me there"
"Dumbledore, would you like to explain that?!" Lily spat
"Now Lily…"
"Plus they let their son bully me" Harry added "in fact they encouraged it, rewarded him if he did so. And to think, he wanted to keep me there"
"He's going to make her explode" Sirius commented to Remus who could only nod in agreement
"Well?!" Lily looked at Dumbledore expectedly
"Lily" Dumbledore replied "I did what I…"
"Oh, and there was that time that Uncle Vernon tried to kill me" Harry commented
"What?!" Lily and James exclaimed
"Tried to stab me and leave me in the streets"
"Dumbledore, if you don't give me a good reason to stop then I'm going to break my foot in-between your legs!" Lily gave Dumbledore a look that would have caused a lesser man to piss his pants, it only left Dumbledore slightly terrified.
"Now, now Lily" Dumbledore began "the night of the attack, Adrian had stopped Voldemort by redirecting the killing curse. I believe that Voldemort is still alive, I had to take Adrian away and get him to safety"
"What about Harry?!" Lily demanded
"Yeah Dumbledore!" Harry nodded "What about Harry?! To think, he left me there!"
"You could have sent him to the Longbottoms, Andromeda, Sirius, Remus, McGonagall, Flitwick, or about just about anyone else more qualified and you chose the Dursley's?!"
....
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