Can I Actually Become the Boss?

This is actually pretty fun. Adventurers stop by every so often and I somehow manage to take them out and steal whatever they happen to leave behind. From the first two guys I got plate armor, a sword, and a fire staff. Since then, I have found a real shield and a mace. I haven't used the mace yet, because it is super spiky and scary.

Aside from the first time, not a single adventurer has broken into my chest. Each time I take down an adventurer, I grow stronger from their equipment. So I am starting to think that maybe I could really become the boss of this dungeon that the dragons put me in. Not that I want to. I would much rather die than become a dungeon boss, but becoming a dungeon boss might not be a terrible alternative. With this thought on my mind I take up a stance in front of the chest and wait for my next adventurer.

An elf walked into my cave with his bow at the ready, but before he can do anything, I launch into my monologue.

"I am the final boss. You will not make it past me, because of my immeasurable strength and insurmountable ability to be unconquerable. You were a fool when you decided to enter this dungeon and you will not leave it ali-"

The elf looses an arrow at me.

"Ahhhh," I block the arrow with my shield, "Don't you know that you have to let the dialogue finish before you start fighting?"

Another arrow flies my way and I block it again.

"You have a very cool bow and everything, but I don't think it is going to do very much about this fancy shield I've picked u-"

The elf shot a glowing arrow that split into two arrows that were too far apart for me to block with my shield and too fast for me to dodge. One arrow planted itself firmly in my right leg.

"You shot me! That was so mean that- that I am going to yell at you. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

The elf stares at me for a second.

"Now you have incurred the full wrath of the mighty boss! Prepare to die in repentance for your sins."

I yank the arrow out of my leg and two more are already on the way.

"Slow down! Wow. I should not have pulled that arrow out. That is a lot of blood."

I drop to the ground and the two arrow whistle over my head.

"RAHHH. Super boss FIREBALL!" I send energy into the staff and launch a fireball at the elf. He swiftly sidesteps the flaming projectile and it explodes behind him.

"MY WALL! No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I am so sorry."

I jump up and block the next round of arrows that head my way and then rush the elf. A few more arrows thud into my shield and the elf relocates when I get close. As soon as the elf jumps away, I throw down the shield and start a mad dash toward the elf. He is caught off-guard, and I manage to get close enough to launch myself on him. And that is yet another tackle to add to my collection of awesome tackles. Though it was now my turn to be caught off-guard, as the elf whips out a dagger and strikes at me. I catch his arm and struggle for a couple moments before I am able to overpower him and push his arm back. It was then that a dagger appeared in his other hand, and he struck me in the side. After taking the blow I fall to the ground and lay there.

"Ow. Who made this armor with such a big chink? I don't think it is in good taste to complain about stolen goods though, so I'll just lay here and bleed out. Help yourself to the chest."

By the time I had finished speaking the man had already opened the chest, taken a single look at the contents and walked out of the room. I lay on the floor, watching my blood pool around me for a little while before dragging myself over to my small stockpile of bandages that I have received during the daily chest changes.

"That guy wouldn't be the worst option to choose as my murderer, but he was impolite. He didn't say a word the whole time. I'll bandage myself up to live a bit longer. What do you say, Chest?"

"I am glad that you agree with me."

I bandage myself up and sit on my ledge again.

"Hmm. Maybe becoming a final boss isn't for me. Or maybe I just need some stronger gear before I try it. I'll make sure to practice in the meantime though." I tell the cave.

My next few encounters started like this:

"Yes. It is as you have feared. The whole entire grueling dungeon that you just toiled and pushed through has culminated in this: a showdown with the most powerful being that you will ever lay your eyes on." That one ended in me getting paralyzed by a lightning bolt and my hair was sticking straight up for days.

***

"I can see the fear in your eyes and it is understandable. I too would be terrified to be in your situation. You have reached the toughest trial that you could ever imagine facing. DIE!" I tripped directly after saying that, but I eventually tackled that guy.

***

"I am oblivion. I am the big person. I mean the big boss. Yeah, the big boss. The biggest boss you will ever see. So big that whenever you see anything else you will be like, 'Wow that is small in comparison to that big boss I faced'." I tried to tackle that dude, but he was huge, so I just ended up throwing a bunch of fireballs at him till he left.

***

"Bow before me. Me and the chest. Bow before both of us. Why? Bow because we are scary, that is why. Oh. I am the boss. I don't know if I mentioned that." That poor adventurer girl looked confused, but she still defeated me like there was nothing to it she put me on ice. I mean she literally froze my butt. She had an ice staff.

***

"Waaaaaaah. Why do you look so scary?! I mean, HOOORAH! I am the boss! Cower." Surprisingly, that whitchy looking lady was super nice and gave me an apple... I didn't wake up for several days after eating it though.