7. Chapter 7

MAYA'S POV

How can someone be such a good kisser?

It was the only thing I could think of as Carina's mouth devoured mine, as her skilled tongue subdued mine with ferocity and I didn't even bother to completely surrender to her mercy. Both her hands dug into my hair and my fingers tightened around her waist as I pulled her to me - I wanted to never have to part from that body that I had desired for so long - and the sighs that Carina let out during the kiss made me forget about the world around us.

I had never felt comfortable with public displays of affection and here I was, kissing so passionately the woman who had invaded my dreams for ten years and was now invading my thoughts as well. And I couldn't care less what the people around us thought because the only thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want this moment to ever pass.

-Talk. - She spoke in a whisper when we pulled away for a few seconds. - We need to talk, right?

-Yes, - I answered in the same tone, looking into those chocolate-colored eyes that warmed me up inside.

Her mouth was red and swollen from our kisses, her face was slightly flushed under her usual tan color, her eyes darted from mine to my mouth, and her lips parted in a silent invitation that I was now more than happy to accept.

It was my turn to take one of my hands to the back of her neck and pull her face back to mine, initiating another kiss. Now slow, wet, and sensual. The middle of my legs felt warm, I could feel a thin layer of sweat on my back, and the cold wind that was uncomfortable before was now a relief to my body. I bit her bottom lip gently before sucking it into my mouth, letting it escape with a discreet 'pop' before running my tongue over her lips and seeking her tongue again.

Her body rippled lightly against mine, but the rubbing - albeit light - of her breasts against mine made me moan against her lips. There was no room for embarrassment, I wanted her to hear me moan, I wanted her to know how much I wanted her, how much I wanted to take her home with me and get rid of her clothes.

-Don't do that. - She sighed, pulling away after holding both sides of my face.

-What? - I asked, trying to lean forward again and kiss her once more.

-We should stop. - She ignored my question and my desire to seal my lips on hers again. - I have to go to the hospital soon.

Now I remembered our conversation a few days ago when she had told me that she would be on duty that night - at 10 pm, if I am not mistaken - and I looked at the watch on my wrist to check the time. 8:24 pm. I looked at our surroundings, some people really looked at us with annoyed looks, others smiled at the scene we had caused, but what really worried me was realizing that we would be returning to our departure side of the Ferry in about 20 minutes.

-What does this mean? - Carina asked softly, stroking my face with her thumbs and making me look at her face again. How could someone be so beautiful?

-I don't know. - I confessed because I really hadn't thought beyond the desire I had to kiss her lips since the first time I had seen her at the Ferry so many years ago. For me, this possibility had always been so distant that I couldn't imagine what the next steps would be.

Carina was not just anyone, and I knew it. I knew that I also could not treat her like every other woman I would take to my bed, fuck all night, and ask to leave my apartment as quickly as possible.

I knew there was more.

I knew that there were feelings involved.

-What I do know is that I really enjoyed kissing you, and I want to do it again as many times as you let me. - I smiled sideways as I confessed the only certainty I had at that moment.

-That good, huh? - She smiled sideways at me, full of herself, making me roll my eyes. - I had been wanting to do that for a long time.

-Precisely ten years. - I joked, and she laughed, tilting her face, and brushing her nose against mine. I closed my eyes to enjoy this gesture of affection and my heart fluttered in my chest, reminding me that I was not used to this kind of warmth.

There were no boyfriends and girlfriends in my past. I had never been deeply in love. There were people who had had a greater or lesser impact on my life but thinking back with the maturity I have today I believe it was a matter of greater or lesser chemistry during sex and perhaps greater or lesser number of orgasms exchanged.

-Are you okay? - She asked softly, and I opened my eyes again, being greeted with hers and my heartbeat quickened again.

You're not the person who gets butterflies in your stomach when you kiss someone, Maya! You feel fire between your legs, and you put it out with one or two orgasms and that's it!

But that wasn't it with Carina.

-Yes, you? - I asked back.

-Si. - She smiled openly, and that smile could change my mind about every conception of romance and relationships I had ever had.

And that scared the crap out of me.

-Good. - I said softly.

I felt overwhelmed and overstimulated at that moment. There was a whirlwind of emotions inside me - most of them unfamiliar and I couldn't even name everything I was feeling - and my mind was equally troubled, full of doubts and questions that I had no answers for. I needed to calm down, and I thought about what had calmed me down the last time.

-Can you hold me? - I asked, embarrassed, in a whisper that took a lot of courage.

Carina didn't answer me, she just moved her hands from my face to my back so gently it was almost a massage and pulled me against her body before squeezing me to keep me there. Her embrace was warm, not physically, but emotionally, and provided a calmness that I had never experienced in the past - not the calm I felt after returning from a call, or after running for minutes and minutes, it was a calmness that soothed my soul.

I felt weird being so vulnerable, so full of feelings. I knew that to develop feelings for someone was to give them power over your life, to be certain that that person now had the power to hurt me, to make me suffer, to make me cry. And even with all the walls around my heart, I knew that when it came to Carina they would never be as effective.

And that scared the crap out of me too.

-Are you feeling better? - She asked softly, her lips practically pressed against my ear, and I could tell there was concern in her voice.

-What do you mean?

-You seemed to have gotten a little anxious a few moments ago, like your head was going a hundred miles per hour. - She continued to speak softly, as if she knew that loud noises were the least desirable thing at that moment.

-I'm fine. - And I didn't even know if that was a lie or a truth. - I'll be fine.

-I know you will.

I thought she would pull away next, but she held me in her arms for the rest of the crossing, leaning against the ledge for support, with my face on her chest and her chin on top of my head in a comfortable position for both of us. I didn't move either, I didn't want to end that calm, I didn't want to detach myself from it.

-We have to go. - She whispered, stroking my back. - We're here.

-Okay. - I reluctantly pulled away from her chest, but I felt much better and calmer. - Thank you.

-No need to thank me, hugging you is one of my favorite things to do. - She answered, smiling shyly, and managed to get a smile out of me.

We walked side by side through the other passengers who were also disembarking, not exchanging words, just remaining immersed inside our own heads. She didn't try to hold my hand, or put a hand on my back, and I didn't know whether to be happy about it, or worried.

-I'm on call until tomorrow. - She said as she picked up her cell phone.

-Do you mind if I ride with you to the hospital? - I asked as I watched her tap the screen a few times.

-Of course not! But are you feeling alright? - She asked, looking up at me.

Her gaze was always so intense, there was no middle ground with Carina, there was no lukewarm, she was either cold as ice or hot as a fire.

-I just want to keep you company. - I shrugged.

-In that case, I'm more than happy for you to join me. - She gave me a wink and I smiled.

We waited for the car at the station entrance.

-Do you know anything about cars? - she asked as the driver drove off in the direction of the hospital.

-I mean, I know a few things. - I turned toward her with a questioning look on my face. - Why?

-I'm going to buy a car and so help me God if I have to take Andrea with me. - She burst out laughing and I could live just to hear that sound. - He is as opinionated and indecisive as I am, it will only give me more of a headache.

-Well, I can come with you if you want. - It would be nice to have an excuse to see her again, even though I might not need to do that anymore.

-That would be nice. Thank you. - Carina looked forward again, her hair partially covering her profile, and I felt more comfortable sneaking a glance at her knowing that she couldn't catch me.

-Do you want to do this tomorrow? - I asked after a few moments of silence.

-You're working tomorrow, aren't you? - She asked back.

-Only until six o'clock, we can go after that if you want.

-No, you need to rest. - Carina turned sideways and brought one of her hands to my cheek. - We can go another day.

I didn't want to go another day, I wanted to have an excuse to see her tomorrow.

I couldn't think of anything else to say because we had reached our destination. We got out of the car and walked to the hospital entrance.

-Third floor. - She said to me as we got into the elevator. - That's the OB floor, in case you want to pay me a visit in the future.

-Can I do that? - I asked, nibbling my lower lip nervously.

-Of course, you can do that. You can come here whenever you want, to do whatever you want with me. - She said the last part in a whisper close to my ear, and I shivered as I felt my cheeks blush intensely.

Now that we had kissed, the possibility of having her for myself was much more concrete, it was something I now desired with every breath. I couldn't stop imagining what it would be like to have her, and the teasing now no longer had a joking tone, but rather one of possibility.

-I think I'm the one who's winning our game now. - She laughed beside me, realizing how frustrated I was.

-Maybe I can change that in your office. - I tried to get back in the game, tried to show all the confidence I had boasted about to my friends, but the words came out in an almost pleading tone.

-Maybe. - She spoke back, and the doors opened in front of us.

Carina led me through the floor, showing me the way to her office.

-There are a lot of vaginas and uteruses here. - I said looking around, the decoration was as expected for an OBGYN doctor's office, but there was one side that caught my attention the most. - And clitoris.

-That's because of my research. - She answered, placing her purse inside a cabinet that was on the opposite wall from the one I was facing.

-We never got to talk about it, what is your research about? - I asked, unable to take my eyes off the drawings in front of me. Probably every type of vulva that ever existed was drawn on that poster.

-The female orgasm. - She answered and I quickly turned around.

-What? - I asked with arched eyebrows.

-I'm studying the female orgasm. - She shrugged and smiled sideways. - The body and the brain before, during and after the orgasm. The pharmaceutical industry is finally getting interested in the possibility of developing the equivalent of female Viagra, but my main area of interest is how sexual stimulation can play a role in pain control for women, but that way I wouldn't get the funding I need. But with my study being sponsored by some pharmaceutical companies, I can kill two birds with one stone.

I was simply speechless at that moment. I remember that in one of our conversations years ago Carina told me that she liked it when people talked about what they were passionate about, and now I finally understood. It was extremely hot to watch her talk about her study, especially because as she talked, she was putting a perfectly white and clean lab coat over the clothes she was wearing under her jacket.

-Too much information? - She asked when I didn't say anything.

-Uh... No. - I tried to disguise how much I was wanting to jump on her at that very second. - And how are you doing this?

-With this. - She pointed to a metal case that was on her desk.

She walked over to the case, and I walked over as well, and Carina turned it around so that it was facing the latches and as soon as it was open, she turned it toward me and now I was worried that my eyes would pop out of my sockets.

-They are... Are they... Sex toys? - I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

-Sí! - she grinned. - I have volunteers come here to masturbate inside an MRI machine and then I can see in almost real time all the brain functioning in the process of sexual stimulation and climax.

-So, women come here and masturbate for you? - I was increasingly shocked by the amount of information she was giving me.

-Well, not for me... For my study. - She continued to giggle at my comments, and I don't think I have ever turned so red during a conversation in my life. - You Americans are very prude. This is all perfectly normal.

-I know. - The words came out a little choked up. - Just an unusual study.

-Unfortunately. - She sighed and I realized that being "unusual" was precisely the problem there.

-But you are breaking barriers and I'm sure you're doing a great job! - I tried to cheer her up a bit. - You are opening doors and helping many women with your study.

-Thank you. - She gave me a sad smile.

-Do you have to go see your patients now? - I asked, pointing with my thumb at the door behind me.

-In a second. - She spoke and moved closer to me. - I'd like to kiss you some more before I go, without worrying about having people around me, without holding back.

-I'd like that. - My knees trembled slightly, and I felt my mouth getting a little drier as I heard her intense and provocative words.

-Good. - She just whispered before pulling me around my waist.

Our lips seemed perfect for each other, our tongues were touching, and my body seemed to want to spontaneously combust. I felt her hands go up to the back of my neck, her nails lightly scratching me, and I ran one hand gently down her ribs then moved it to her back on the inside of her lab coat. Our lips moved in a rhythm that was only ours, the kiss heated me more and more and when I lowered my hands to her ass, giving it a tight squeeze and feeling her flesh in contact with my fingers we both moaned at the same time.

I took clumsy steps forward without interrupting the kiss and Carina seemed to understand what I wanted. As soon as we got close to her desk, I had her sit down on it and when her legs opened so that I could settle between them my heart skipped a beat in my chest.

I moved my kisses down to her neck when the need for oxygen became inevitable, and heard another low moan escape her lips. I opened my lips and let my warm tongue meet her cool skin, the shock of temperatures sending a shiver through her body as I traced a brief length of her neck like this and finished by brushing my teeth against her skin.

-I have to go. - She gasped, moving her head to the side giving me more access to the area.

-It doesn't look like you want to go. - I murmured against her skin, licking, and nibbling lightly at the spot.

-I don't want to. - She spoke back, and I smiled at her confession. - But I have to go.

I grunted before I pulled away from her neck and when I was finally away from her skin, I could see how hot and horny I was. Carina was looking at me intensely as she nibbled her lower lip, her eyes also denouncing the excited state she was in as well. I ran my hands down her thighs that hugged my legs and locked our lips in a brief kiss before taking two steps back and letting her get down from the table.

-When will I see you again? - I asked as we walked to the door, my hands firmly buried in the pockets of the jacket I was wearing to avoid showing my nervousness.

-You should rest tomorrow after your shift. - She looked down, her hair falling in front of her face in the process, and I instinctively brought a hand up to the brown locks before tucking them behind her ear.

-Let me take you to dinner tomorrow. - I asked, and the nervousness behind my words didn't allow them to escape my mouth in a tone louder than a whisper. - We don't have to do anything; I just want to be able to see you again.

-Okay. - She smiled sideways and looked at me again.

-I'll text you the details tomorrow. - I said and she nodded before opening the door and motioning for me to go ahead. - See you tomorrow.

-Sí. - Carina leaned her face forward and kissed my cheek tenderly. - Bye, Maya.

-Bye.

…

-What happened to your face? - Andy nudged me hard as she passed me, and the shock of her body against mine almost caused me to drop the cell phone that was in my hands.

"I can't wait to see you"

"I'll be at your house at 8pm" - I finished typing before turning towards my friend, who was trying to spy over my shoulder what I was typing.

-What? - I asked back. - What's wrong with my face?

-There's something weird in your mouth. - She pointed in the direction of my face. - Something like a smile, but no ordinary smile, the smile of a person who is texting a crush.

-You're crazy. - I rolled my eyes.

-I would agree. - I started walking to my office. - If I hadn't seen Carina's name on your phone.

-Can you not spy on me? - I complained, snorting and rolling my eyes.

-Are you two seeing each other?

-That's none of your business.

-Did you guys kiss? - Her voice denoted her excitement and when I entered my office and tried to close the door, her hand stopped me.

-It's none of your business. - I just repeated.

-Did you two have sex? - Andy asked almost in a shout.

-That's none of your damn business! - I hissed through my teeth.

-Oh, you like her! - My friend stared at me with narrowed eyes, and there was an accusation that was easy to read between the lines.

-Can you please stop talking about this! We are working, and my personal life should definitely not be on the agenda here. - I took some papers from our last scene and organized them, tapping the sheets against my desk trying to line them up evenly.

-You were the one who was all flustered, asking me if I thought she liked you on game night! - Andy crossed her arms against her chest.

-That was before.... - I started, but managed to stop myself in time.

-Before what? - She urged me to continue, but I didn't answer because I didn't want to admit my fears out loud. - You can talk to me, Maya.

-I don't want to talk. - Now my back was turned to Andy, clutching the sheets of paper in my hands tightly to try to calm the rapid beating of my heart.

-Okay. - She spoke softly behind me. - I'm here for you if you need me.

I heard her dragging footsteps to the door and I turned as she turned the knob.

-Andy. - I called out, and the woman turned her head to look over her shoulder. - Thank you. I appreciate it.

-No problem. - She gave me a small, discreet smile, almost out of politeness. I knew she wanted me to share more of my personal life with her, but I wasn't good at doing that.

Andy was one of the few people I trusted, but we were different in many ways. Her culture made her much more receptive and open to talk about her own feelings, and I was a good listener, I was there for her whenever she needed to vent - even when she did it in Spanish and I couldn't understand half of her complaints. Andy was a special friend to me, she often had a different perception of my past, of my traumas, of my abusive experiences so many years ago and I loved her for that, and because she is one of the few people who truly knows me, confessing things to her most of the time implies making me hear truths from her that I am not yet ready to hear.

It was for this very reason that I still hadn't told her about my kiss - my kisses - with Carina yesterday; when I saw her in the morning changing clothes in the changing room my tongue itched to share some of my nervousness and happiness with her, but I knew that she would make me think even more rationally than I was already thinking and force me to deal with all the emotions that filled me as well.

It was too much.

I needed some time with myself to understand what was going on inside me because surely there was a change. Something was different, but I still couldn't name any of these new sensations.

I looked at the clock and sighed heavily before I smiled, deciding at that moment to forget about my anxiety and focus on my excitement about taking Carina to dinner in less than three hours.

I was determined to give the Italian a great night.